There is a famous saying:
"The hardest part of life is the choice."
In fact, the most common problem we face in this life is choice, when you make different choices, you will have a different life destination.
So, when you choose who to walk with, you will slowly become the same person as him. Therefore, the importance of choice is very important to us, and there is a saying that "choice is greater than effort" that comes from this.
What kind of people to choose to be with, perhaps everyone has a scale and a standard in their hearts. However, "people's hearts are separated from their stomachs", too many people wear masks all day long, and it is impossible for you to judge his hidden true face.
The most feasible way is to "watch their actions" and glimpse the leopard from the other party's behavior. Among them, looking at a person's attitude towards our performance, we can better see the true face of the other party and recognize what kind of person the other party is.
To be precise, some people do these things to you, not for your own good, but to look down on you.
1 Explicitly saying "care", in fact, the purpose is "ridicule"
I believe that you will also meet a kind of person in reality: always saying that he cares about you, in fact, to mock you and highlight his sense of personal superiority.
Writer Liang Xiaosheng recounted an incident in his childhood in "Awakening on Earth".
Because his family was poor and his clothes were always tattered, he happened to catch up with the school to check on him, and the class teacher did not want his "image" to affect the class, so he adjusted his seat to the end.
However, when he was a child, Liang Xiaosheng himself was short, and his seat was adjusted to the back, so he was naturally blocked by other students and could not see the handwriting on the blackboard.
He talked to the class teacher, hoping not to move his seat to the end of the class.
After listening to it, the class teacher said to him in a "concerned" tone: "I also did this to help Liang Xiaosheng, if because of Liang Xiaosheng's personal image affected the class honor, then the school will definitely find him trouble, and he is completely kind." ”
However, the so-called "piece of kindness" did not make the young Liang Xiaosheng feel a little warmth, but felt that the class teacher looked down on him. In his opinion, the class teacher would adjust his seat to the end because he mocked him for not having new clothes.
He thought about dropping out.
Liang Xiaosheng's other teacher saw that although she did not have money to buy him new clothes, she comforted Liang Xiaosheng while giving him his own scarf and asking him to wear it...
This warmth made Liang Xiaosheng remember for a lifetime.
In fact, people who really care about you in this world will not just talk about it, but will really put it into action.
The reason why some people pretend to care about you and be good for you is actually to deceive and fool you, the purpose is to make you relax your vigilance and ultimately achieve the purpose of bullying you.
If you meet such a person, don't be blinded by the superficial hypocrisy of existence, and it is the best policy to stay away as soon as possible.
2 Ostensibly say help, but actually to hit you
Life is like a journey, we will meet all kinds of people, some people always come to our lives in the name of friends, but they play a negative role, the purpose is to attack you, highlight their superiority.
For example, when you are in deep trouble and think of a person asking him for help, the direct performance of the other party is to count you down first, or to criticize you completely, saying that you will never have such a thing, because you are smarter than you, wiser than you, you think that only people who really care about you will do this to you, but I did not expect that the other party did not want to help, and finally just quietly disappeared.
Promise when you swear, but when you really act, push and block, or wait for various reasons, and eventually disappear.
If you truly believe that this kind of person will really help you in difficult situations, you are very wrong. For them, they never wanted to really help you, and their interaction with you was only the same thing every time, they never took you as a friend, and from the bottom of their hearts, they would feel that you were inferior to themselves and looked down on you.
Interacting with such a person for a long time, not only can not solve the problem, but also because of the other party's "number of drops", let you aggravate the sense of inferiority, let your anxiety continue to double, and finally doubt your own value.
If it is very unfortunate that such a person exists in your circle of friends, you better not expect the other party to really take you as a friend, their appearance is only to remind you what kind of people are not worthy of deep friendship, what kind of people are worth cherishing for a lifetime.
True friends always help you to give advice and help you find a way to solve specific things, rather than first counting and criticizing you, because they understand that complaining at this moment has no effect, and the most important task at present is to solve the problem.
3 Pretending to say it's for your own good, actually to demean you
"I'm not saying this about you yet for your own good..."
"Wouldn't it have been nice if you had listened to me earlier?" If it were me, I wouldn't be as stupid as you..."
Many times, I believe that seeing such words is not strange, and more or less certainly can be seated in some people.
Indeed, in our lives, we will always meet some people in the name of "good for you", and whenever we encounter difficulties, we will always use this excuse to demean you, as if we will always make mistakes in front of each other, and the other party can always accuse you from above and make you accept your own shortcomings.
In fact, everyone has shortcomings and shortcomings, which is very normal. However, encountering problems and solving problems is the wisest and most correct way, not to solve the problems you encounter under your feet. On the contrary, when you hear these people treat you like this, you don't know how to do it, you suspect that it's all your fault, and you make yourself more confused.
Remember, these people are not sincerely trying to help you, but only to belittle you, deliberately counting you down, and this kind of "hindsight" comment will not do anything to solve any problem at present, but will be counterproductive.
If you meet such people, you need to be clear that they don't really care about you, but only to taunt you under the guise of "good for you", which is their real purpose.
We all know the true meaning behind the phrase "it is not unladylike to meet people", and we also understand the harm that people who encounter mistakes bring to themselves. In fact, in my opinion, it is more important to recognize some "two-faced people" who seem to be "good" for us, but actually bring us negative energy.
Being with such people not only makes us doubt our own value, but eventually we doubt life in the midst of blows.
Therefore, it is important to see a wrong person, and it is even more important for us to recognize a "two-faced person" in disguise.
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