I rarely read Zhang Ailing's books, and I hardly knew anything about her, only that she was a famous female hostess, such as "Half Life", "The First Incense Burner" and so on.
This time, I accidentally read Zhu Yunqiao's book "Because I Like, I Can Meet All Difficulties: The Biography of Zhang Ailing", and I really understood Zhang Ailing's life and under what circumstances she wrote so many famous works.
The author Zhu Yunqiao, a member of the Chinese Writers Association, is a lingxi woman who is obsessed with beauty. Love to read and write, the text is beautiful and gentle, especially the recent publication of the legendary women's series of works: "Moment Fanghua, Remember: Lin Huiyin Biography", "Because I Like, Can Meet All Difficulties: Zhang Ailing's Biography", "Stick to Romance, Don't Be Afraid of the World: The Biography of Lu Xiaoman" and "Don't Let Love Wander Again: The Biography of Sanmao".
In the process of reading, I have been touched by the story inside many times, and I also realized that no one is smooth sailing, and how much fame and fortune is behind how much grinding, whether it is a celebrity or an ordinary person.
Looking at her life, I learned that in addition to her true love of literature, it was her life's experience to write such a wonderful and popular novel.
Affection
A happy childhood heals a lifetime, and an unhappy childhood heals a lifetime.
This sentence is sad to say, but the more we grow up, the more we feel that this sentence is correct.
Zhang Ailing's childhood was unfortunate, although the family was rich, but from childhood she did not get the affection she wanted.
Her mother, Huang Suqiong, has the idea of a new youth and does not like this marriage, resulting in less love for her children, and she loves herself more.
When she was a child, Zhang Ailing already knew how to observe words and colors, could distinguish the expressions of others, and in order to get the love of her mother, she catered to her mother and did what her mother liked.
However, this did not change the mother's more love, and even her mother abandoned her children to go abroad independently in order to pursue her own life.
From the initial expectation to the later disappointment, then to the expectation, and then to the disappointment, and finally to no expectations, this is Zhang Ailing's love for her mother.
When I saw her alone in the face of her mother's departure, alone and alone to endure loneliness, I felt a great deal in my heart, and I felt pain and discomfort for this young child.
Father, a pedantic person, in addition to some love for her at the beginning, some concern for her literature at the beginning, in the later relationship, also slowly diluted.
In her dealings with her father, she learned the importance of money, due to his pedantic and remarriage. When Zhang Ailing wanted to go to school, when she asked her father for money with her palms up, when she was ruthlessly rejected, she understood that if she wanted her self-esteem, she must rely on herself.
When her father beat her to the head and bled her, locked her up and did not give her food, Zhang Ailing's love for her father at that time was almost zero.
Mother's love and father's love are luxuries for her, and they have made her have a further understanding of life, and she has written so many novels at the same time.
Love
The lack of family affection has led to Zhang Ailing's desire for love.
At the age of fancy years, she met what she thought was true love, Hu Lancheng.
The warmth that she did not get in the affection, she got it from Hu Lancheng, so she tried her best to love, and finally she was scaly.
When he fell in love with her, Hu Chenglan already had several marriages, and even at that time he was already married, which was also Hu Chenglan's character, love, all people love, see a love one, no flower can make him stay.
Zhang Ailing is very much in love, but Hu Chenglan only has a little bit of love, and the two have different views of love, which is also doomed to the ultimate tragedy between the two.
After experiencing the separation of her parents, the pain of love is even easier for her to cut.
After understanding the difference between her and Hu Lancheng, she, who was once humble, picked up the courage she once had and directly classified Hu Lancheng into the category of strangers, no longer affected by him in any way.
Despite the failure of the first love, she still had hope for love, and when love came again, she and her second husband met, their ages were very different, but they tacitly understood each other, admired each other, and entered the second marriage at the same time.
Unfortunately, the age difference is too large, and her husband Laiya's health is gradually deteriorating, and she has fallen ill and died, leaving Zhang Ailing alone in this world again.
Since then, Zhang Ailing has been alone, creating alone in her own room, living alone, refusing to interact with anyone, and no longer paying attention to anything in the mortal dust.
Experience
Some people spend their lives in peace and security, while others will have great ups and downs in the world.
And the people who have made great ups and downs, some people have abandoned themselves, and some people are phoenixes, living themselves, and living a wonderful life.
Zhang Ailing is this phoenix that has lived out her own wonderful work and left a classic for future generations.
The misfortune of childhood led her to shine in literature, and she understood very early that fame should be early, so when she had the opportunity, she could bloom her own glory to the fullest.
As a young woman, she gained fame and fortune, and between fame and profit, she gained love, and this love also led to a sharp fall later.
This love not only hurt her body and mind, but also suffered a heavy blow in her career, because of Hu Lancheng's identity, she was questioned as a cultural betrayer, resulting in her having to flee the place of residence at that time.
Falling from the peak of fame and fortune to the bottom, in that era, how sad, or rather, how pitiful for a woman.
At that time, women were still attached to men, and there was a little fame and fortune that should be a good achievement, but Zhang Ailing had enough fame and fortune, but she was fell to the ground.
You can imagine how much mental pressure she had at that time and how difficult life was.
However, she was like an undead Xiao Qiang, and she was not crushed by the desperate situation at that time, she changed places, picked up the pen again, and made a world for her life.
Later, she experienced a lot of ups and downs again, from the beginning of caring about the eyes of others, to the later look at life, only for herself to live.
In the late stages, her spiritual wealth reached the extreme, she cut off all the people's contact, only one person lived, when she found that her accommodation was known, decisively changed places again, and even the final death, all anticipated in advance, and arranged everything in advance.
This is Zhang Ailing, Zhang Ailing, who has a bumpy life, and Zhang Ailing, who is admired by future generations in literary works.
Zhang Ailing's works talk about the weaknesses of human nature and are worth reading for a lifetime.
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