One day in 1957, 37-year-old Zhou Xuan combed her neat curly hair, dressed simply and plainly, raised her hands and feet and fell generously, she sat on the sofa and sang the long-lost "Tianya Song Girl" again:
The end of the world,
Mi Ya Mi Zhi Yin.
The little sister sings the singing lang to play the piano,
Lang Ya we are both one heart.
The ethereal and clear voice seems to carry a kind of magic, bringing the memories of everyone present back to the Shili Yangchang in Shanghai in the 1930s.
This is also the video record of Zhou Xuan's last appearance in front of the audience.
As we all know, there are many strange women on the beach, but there are not many who can sing and act like Zhou Xuan.
She has gained fame and fortune throughout her life, and has interpreted happiness and love in her works countless times, but she has been repeatedly hurt by love in her life.
She once wrote in her diary:
"To punish oneself for the faults of others is the fool in the world."
Perhaps, all the while, she hadn't learned how to be kind to herself.
A marriage of distrust is a disaster
Zhou Xuan's original name is Su Pu, and her parents can be regarded as cultural people in Changshu, Jiangsu Province, and they carefully selected this name, only wishing her beautiful jade and heavenly success, and a safe and smooth life.
But fate was not satisfactory.
Su Pu was only three years old, and her uncle secretly took her away and sold her, and after several turns, she was sent to a family surnamed Zhou in Shanghai and renamed Zhou Xiaohong.
Other girls were still spoiled in the arms of their parents, and Zhou Xiaohong could only swallow the bitterness of flesh and bone separation alone.
She is well-behaved and obedient, just to get a little love from her adoptive parents, but her life is still worse than a day.
The adoptive father, who smoked a lot of smoke, was grumpy, and it was common to scold Zhou Xiaohong, and he even thought of selling his children to a brothel. The adoptive mother had no choice but to send Xiaohong to the song and dance troupe.
The turning points of life are often only in a simple decision.
Zhou Xiaohong's unique good voice, coupled with her natural beauty, made her begin to emerge, and after changing her name to "Zhou Xuan", she became even more famous.
At that time, the neon on the beach was flashing, all night long, and Zhou Xuan's songs were played in the streets and alleys, and she had become a household name "golden voice".
However, the applause and flowers are far less intoxicating than the first opening of the love sinus.
Zhou Xuan is younger in the song and dance troupe, and yan Hua, the tall and handsome "pillar of the group", takes great care of her, not only teaching her to speak Mandarin and read musical scores, but also caring for her in life.
For Zhou Xuan, who grew up in bitter water, Yan Hua's love like a father and a brother is like the warm sun in spring and the breeze in summer, which makes people feel warm and relaxed.
When the mild-mannered Yan Hua appeared in front of her with the proposal ring and said to her, "We are married", Zhou Xuan felt that she was the happiest woman in the world.
Two people in a lifetime, three meals and four seasons, yu wish is enough.
After marriage, the husband and wife did have a sweet time, but the good times were not long.
Zhou Xuan's career is on the rise, the work arrangement is compact and intensive, and there are performances everywhere, the couple gathers less and leaves more, and the mutual complaint between you and me has become a luxury, not to mention the fireworks life of tasting chai rice oil and salt.
And Yan Hua's career after marriage has also stagnated, and it is inevitable that there will be a gap in his heart, and the two will gradually become estranged.
Due to excessive fatigue at work, Zhou Xuan unfortunately miscarried, and before her body could be well nourished, she threw herself into the performance all night, leaving her with dizziness and insomnia and other neurasthenic diseases.
The roof leaked during the overnight rain. Zhou Xuan's acting inevitably has contact with male actors, and the scandals that come out from time to time make Yan Hua very annoyed.
He suspected that his wife Hongxing was out of the wall, and after the quarrel, he often did not return at night, and Zhou Xuan could only wash his face with tears
The marriage of the original talented woman is full of suspicion, they no longer clarify themselves on the one hand, and on the other hand, they constantly doubt each other's loyalty.
Mutual distrust ended up ruining the marriage for three years.
If you don't love it, you have to keep it decent for you
Zhou Xuan and Yan Hua divorced.
During the day, she is attached to work, and the rise of her career and the surge in income make her look like a boundless scenery.
But only she herself knew how many nights she had woken up in a cold sweat in her dreams, and the loneliness and helplessness of childhood had sprung up again and again, easily engulfing her.
For a long time, Zhou Xuan did not dare to touch love, until the businessman Zhu Huaide confessed to her.
Zhu Huaide pursued Zhou Xuan for a long time. When Zhou Xuan arrived in Hong Kong alone, Zhu Huaide specially flew to her side and saddled up the horse, asked for warmth, accompanied her to treatment when she was sick, and helped her take care of her adoptive parents in Shanghai when she had performances.
At this moment, Zhou Xuan was moved.
She lowered her guard, told Zhu Huaide about her experience, and asked: "Like me, are you sure you want to live with me for a lifetime?" ”
"Of course!" He caressed Zhou Xuan's hair and swore a picture of the future: "I will cherish you for the rest of my life, be good to you, and not let you suffer any harm." ”
Zhou Xuan believed it to be true, snuggled up in Zhu Huaide's arms and envisioned the happy future of the two of them. As everyone knows, this greasy and slippery man not only covets Zhou Xuan's beauty, but also wants to calculate her wealth.
Just as Zhou Xuan was preparing for the wedding with great joy, Zhu Huaide offered to let Zhou Xuan fund him to do business in Shanghai, and promised to settle in Hong Kong after making money.
The kind and simple Zhou Xuan did not say a word, and handed over all his savings to his "fiancé" to do his career.
Soon, Zhou Xuan found out that she was pregnant. She first wrote to Zhu Huaide to share the joy, and secondly, she also hoped that her fiancé would come to Hong Kong as soon as possible to complete the marriage.
However, Zhu Huaide used the excuse that the business was too busy to leave, and repeatedly pushed away.
Zhou Xuan could not wait for a lover, and the next year he returned to Shanghai with his first child to find out what kind of business Zhu Huaide did? He squandered Zhou Xuan's money and had already mixed with the dancers.
Zhu Huaide not only did not recognize the child at all, but also said dismissively: "I am afraid that this child is not adopted like you." ”
"Female celebrities are as good as they can, I'm afraid I have to take a blood test to know who the child's father is!"
Only close people know the pain of Zhou Xuan's life, and now he is used as a sharp blade by his former lover.
The most bitter thing in the relationship is not betrayal, but my weakness becomes your weapon to attack me.
Some people say that ending a relationship is equivalent to a rebirth. The process of cramping and peeling is painful, but if you don't love it, please keep the last shred of decency for the other party.
There are thousands of reasons to break up, to open the deepest wounds of the other party in exchange for freedom, villainous behavior.
Learn to love yourself, so that you know how to love others better
Saying goodbye to a wrong relationship should have been a relief, but Zhou Xuan couldn't turn around freely.
On the surface, she is no different from usual, singing, filming, career is more and more prosperous, looking at the beach, Zhou Xuan's limelight is untouched.
But at the scene of the filming of the movie "Peace Dove", the pressure that had accumulated in Zhou Xuan's heart for a long time completely broke out.
A scene of "blood testing" reminds Zhou Xuan of a scene of déjà vu, as if touching a sensitive nerve, she thinks of Zhu Huaide's ruthlessness and shamelessness, and even more grievances that cannot be poured out.
Zhou Xuan suddenly shouted hysterically on the set: "That's your flesh and bones!" It's your flesh and bones! Why a blood test! ”
After everyone panicked and took her to the hospital, the diagnosis turned out to be mental disorder.
After a generation of songs, she was sent to a nursing home, and her condition fluctuated from time to time, touching the hearts of many people. Tang Di, the artist of the "Peace Dove" crew, is one of them.
Tang Di often went to visit Zhou Xuan, told her about the new things that happened outside, and brought good and interesting things to Zhou Xuan to make her happy.
Zhou Xuan's love for Tang Di was powerless, as if she saw a life-saving rope in the abyss, and she desperately wanted to grasp it, hoping to take her out of the space full of fear.
Soon, Zhou Xuan entrusted his body and mind to him, and his mood and condition also improved.
Seeing that his condition was stable, Zhou Xuan and Tang Di's wedding preparations were on the agenda.
She was so happy that she wrote in her diary:
"I'm going to be working soon and I'll be able to meet the audience soon."
She believed that Tang Di and her had overcome difficulties together, and presumably the feelings that could stand the test would surely blossom and bear fruit.
Who knows, the wedding was not held as scheduled, but waited for the news that Tang Di was indicted. Some people said that Tang Di had an intention against Zhou Xuan, and Zhou Xuan immediately published a newspaper stating that the two were in love with each other, but it was still to no avail.
Tang Di was imprisoned for fraud and rape, and when Zhou Xuan heard the news, he passed out in front of his eyes. When she woke up, she was smiling and smiling, and couldn't remember anyone anymore.
The world can't tolerate a woman looking for love, or living in her own world is the best choice.
On September 22, 1957, Zhou Xuan died of illness, the last journey of her life, she did not go out of the hospital, her heart did not come out of the cage.
Some people say that Zhou Xuan's lifelong love cannot be just because of the non-people he entrusts. However, all the love pours out, pressing on all happiness as a bet, and if you can't win, you will only be doomed.
Learn to love yourself first, before you know how to love people, this is a compulsory course in our lives.
"Night Shanghai, night Shanghai, you are a city that never sleeps..."
For more than half a century, countless stars have covered Zhou Xuan's song, but with its voice, there is no god, her beauty and charm cannot be copied, and her story is more thought-provoking.
Zhou Xuan's short life, the childhood under the fence brought her a lifetime of shadows, and the lack of love made her flock to any little warmth.
But when love comes, she does not understand that suspicion is a taboo in marriage, and will only make each other drift apart;
When the love is strong, she does not know how to hide the scars that have never healed, so that people can take advantage of it;
When life falls to the bottom, the salvation of others is the saddest way, and the result will only be great disappointment.
When you are sincere in your feelings and love each other, please give yourself a little self-reserved land. Learning to love yourself is not selfish, because there are always wounds to lick at.
One day, the scars will become medals, and happiness will come as promised.
The author | Ke Wan, a slow-heat writer. Grow as you write.
The anchor | Yanan, radio anchor
Pictures | Network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)