Zhao Xin | Short story department XI: O Henry 16-18 Charity Mathematics Lecture / Precise Marriage /

Zhao Xin| Short Story Series XI: O Henry (16-18)

Lecture on the Mathematics of Philanthropy / Precise Marriage / Tooth Extraction

16. Lecture on Mathematics of Philanthropy

"At that moment, I had a stroke of genius and thought of charity. I think everyone who has been a liar will sooner or later turn to that thought. When a person defrauds a considerable number of people from everyone, he can't help but be a little timid, always wanting to spit out a part. If you look closely and pay attention to the way he does good, you will find that he is trying to return the money to those who have been victimized by him. —Irony.

"You can't tell if it's Harvard or Goldfields, who went to court in March." - The list goes on and on.

"'Only eight hundred and twenty-one dollars and two halves.'" ~~~'Well, go fucking charity. —Sarcasm.

"Andai and the Faroe dealer were sitting at the table, distributing a stack of two-foot-high bills of one thousand dollars a dozen." - It turned out to be sudden again.

"'Philanthropy, if done as business, is also an art, and blessed are those who give and receive.'" "—Essentially?

* * *

Don't worry about these two crooks anyway, the result is always that they win.

17. "Precise Marriage Science"

"'I thought you had already left behind the realism of your industry.'" Why a wife? Wall Street sells a lot of water-doping stocks, are you expecting to find a mermaid in it? What does a marriage advertisement have to do with a wife? "-hahahahaha. The irony is hilarious.

"'You know my rules, in all my illegal buying and selling, the goods sold must be real, visible, and visible.'" According to this principle, by carefully studying the municipal decree and the train schedule, I avoided the trouble with the police that could not be solved by a five-dollar bill or a cigar. Hahahahaha, silent sarcasm.

"In fact, you can't go up too much, otherwise you'll have to hire a lot of clerks and female secretaries, and the sound of their chewing gum may alarm the postmaster general." - Hahahahaha, exaggeration.

"We deposited two thousand dollars in the bank in the name of Mrs. Trotter, gave her the passbook, and if anyone had doubts about the reliability and sincerity of this marriage agency, they could show it to him. I know that Mrs. Trotter is honest and reliable, and there is absolutely no problem in keeping the money in her name. Will there be a problem?

Peters-Tucker sent a reply to each applicant, telling him that the widow was so impressed by his frank and interesting letter that she asked him to write another letter to talk in detail, and if it was convenient, to attach a photograph. Peters Tucker also informed the applicant that the cost of transmitting the second letter to the female client was two dollars, to be attached to the letter.

"The simplicity and beauty of this plan lies in this. Among the old and young masters everywhere, about ninety percent of them managed to raise money to send it. That's a trick. It's just that Andai and I have a lot of complaints about the trouble of opening the envelope and taking the money out. After the letters from the village convenience mail began to pour in, Andai and I could earn about two hundred yuan a day. "---------------------------------------

"When we were almost three months old, we earned more than 5,000 yuan and thought we could end it." - Cut out the cost of six thousand.

"'He wanted me to give him the two thousand dollars before he could marry me.'" "—something went wrong.

"'That William Wilkinson is you?' I say. Exactly. Andai replied. "—It turned out to be a deception within a deception, a set of sets.

It is this series again, and the liars take advantage of people's weaknesses and become the mirror of society.

18. "Tooth Extraction from the Tiger's Mouth"

"I don't fully agree with Andai's extortion to the masses, but he thinks that my conscience is too much in the way of the economic interests of our cooperative cause." Sometimes, we argue with each other in the face. Another time, the two of them were fighting more and more, and he actually compared me to Rockefeller. ~~~' You insult me with such words, and I am not angry with you. —a serious perverse, sober and sharp satire.

"If he's determined to go, then let's go with him to prevent the scam from succeeding." I don't know if they are sure that the other party is ironic. The drama begins.

"'You dishonest, sinful, insidious fat pig,' I said to Morkison, 'obediently took out the two thousand dollars and put them on the table.' Hurry up and do it, or I'm going to be rude to you. I'm a peaceful person by nature, but sometimes I go to extremes. With people like you,' I continued after he had pulled out the money, 'courts and prisons are necessary.' You're here to take those people's money. Do you think they want to peel you off a layer of skin and you have an excuse? No, sir; you're just fighting violence. In fact, you are ten times worse than the person who sold counterfeit money. I said, 'You go to church in your hometown and worship like a decent citizen, but you came to Chicago to deprive others of their money, and those people made deals with the kind of vile little people you want to be today, and you created a sound and profitable industry.' Did you know that the man who sold counterfeit money was also old and young, and he had to rely on him to support his family? It is precisely because you, the hypocritical citizens, want to get it for nothing that you have encouraged lottery tickets, short mines, stock trading and speculation in this country. Without you, they would have nothing to do. The man you're going to rob who sells counterfeit money probably took years to study the industry. Every time he made a deal, he risked losing his freedom, his money, and even his life. You have come here under the guise of sacross, with decent cover and a loud mailing address, to swindle him of his money. If he gets your money, you can report it to the police. If you get his money, he will have to say nothing and pawn off his gray clothes to change for dinner. Mr. Tucker and I have seen through you, so we have come together to teach you the lesson you deserve. Money handed over, you grass-eating hypocrite. "--The plot suddenly turns. And there's irony on both sides. This whole paragraph is amazing, so the original was deleted and added.

"'When we set off with Morkison,' he said, 'Do you have that plan?'" 'Well, isn't it?' I replied, 'What else can be done?' Don't you have that plan too? It was about half an hour before Andai spoke. I think Anda sometimes doesn't fully understand my ethical and moral system of thought. 'Jeff,' he said, 'in the future when you are free, I want you to draw an illustration of your conscience, with annotations. Sometimes I want to refer to the reference. The ending is not off the chain, and it is powerful from beginning to end.

This is truly a masterpiece of irony!

The general satire is mostly one-way, and this one is two-way, and even in both directions, there are more layers and deeper implications, which is really admirable! How did this come to be?!

At the same time, it is also an adventure, which can be said to be desperate.

The use of satire in this single article is not inferior to Mark Twain at all, and even surpassed it to some extent.

He was impressed by O.Henry.