"We communicated, but the three views did not match"
"We communicated but couldn't"
"We communicated, but he didn't understand me/ta couldn't understand"
.......
When there is a communication problem in the relationship between husband and wife, the above statement is usually heard, in short: tried, there is no way to communicate. Many couples' so-called communication is one party's explanation, one party does not listen, and then they all hope that the other party can understand themselves, in fact, they are just venting to each other. Both parties cannot understand each other, and finally define it as "inability to communicate" or "failure to communicate", and finally get impatient, and always say such words: divorce if you can't get by.
marriage
The first time I mentioned divorce, it was like a quarrel, and I didn't seriously want to divorce. The more times, the more you slowly begin to feel cold; the more times, the more "divorce" is like an advertising effect, it may as well be a choice; the more times, this choice will become a good way to solve the current pain.
But in fact, this is not communication, everyone is expressing their emotions, expressing that I am right, expressing that you have to understand me, expressing that the other party can change. Many times, couples can't communicate because one person is usually communicating emotionally, one party is communicating rationally, or both parties are communicating emotionally. And this communication is like a vicious circle, which only expands emotions and destroys relationships.
emotion
But many times many people do not know that they are in the mood, in fact, nagging, complaining, accusation, evaluation are a kind of emotional venting, but usually because both husband and wife are in the mood, or: have been filled with their own various emotions, can not carry any of each other's emotions, it will lead to both sides to explode, a "communication" on the collapse, a "communication" on the problem.
There are usually three common periods of communication difficulties in marriage: 01. new marriage; 02. dispute period; 03. slackening period
01. Date of new marriage
Communication difficulties during the new marriage period are usually due to illusions, and there are always many things that both husband and wife take for granted, "I feel", "I think", and there are not many real communication expressions. Therefore, we recommend that the new marriage period as much as possible to reduce fantasies, reduce the hope that the other party can do things according to their own way, live according to their own habits, but tell each other their own way of life, understand each other's way of life, if you encounter conflict, find ways and means that are acceptable to each other.
02. Dispute period
Communication difficulties during disputes are usually due to the fact that both parties cannot find a mutually acceptable way and therefore the axis cannot back down to each other at a point. During the dispute period, we recommend choosing professional third-party intervention as much as possible, because usually the two sides can not argue to show that they are already full of emotions, and they have touched the sensitive and irrevocable points, so professional third-party intervention is needed to help the two understand the source of their sensitive points and find a suitable solution at the same time.
03. Burnout period
The difficulty of communication during the slack period is that the two parties do not know how to communicate, because the two parties are already very familiar with each other, know what they say to the other party, and are not curious about each other's lives. The focus of the fatigue period is actually that you need to increase the freshness of life, help both parties find a different self, and at the same time arrange the world activities of the husband and wife, and add some new common topics to the monotonous and boring married life.