"Grandpa, are you terrible to die?"
"Don't be afraid."
"Why?"
"Live with you, die with your uncle and them, on both sides are my relatives."
This holiday season, I revisited a domestic movie released in 2010.
"We See You in Heaven" is also the source of the above dialogue.
In the Qingming dynasty of the past few years, there are hometowns everywhere that cannot be returned, and it is impossible to personally attend the memorial.
So I flipped out of this old movie and re-watched the story of the protagonist Xiaolan and her grandfather.
More or less alleviated some inexplicable mourning, so I would like to recommend it to everyone.
Despite its title, the ending has long been spoiled and the inevitable sadness that Grandpa's life will eventually pass.
However, the "I" in front of every screen will eventually learn to say goodbye.
Say goodbye to the old man who loves you the most in his life and loves you the most silently.
01
The director of "We See You in Heaven" is the famous actress Jiang Wenli.
The heroine, Xiaolan, is actually her childhood herself.
Grandpa is played by Zhu Xu, a famous drama artist in Renyi, which is also his work of sealing the mirror
I don't know if this is a cold knowledge. Anyway, when the film was released 12 years ago, it encountered a market reaction that could not be colder.
At that time, it was also the Qingming holiday, and Wu Yusen, Jiang Wen and other big names in the industry were all promoting Jiang Wenli's debut.
But the first weekend box office, only more than 5,000 yuan.
The pace is slow, there is no fierce contradiction and conflict, and the literary and artistic films full of personal memories and feelings are destined to not be popular.
To be honest, today's young audiences may be a little difficult to watch it again.
That was the late '70s, which was gone.
Xiaolan, 10 years old, and grandpa, who is almost 90 years old, rely on each other in the rainy and wet town in the south.
Xiaolan's parents have been in Xinjiang for many years and have been unable to return to meet them.
Many post-90s generations in my generation have had the experience of being raised by their ancestors. Either because dual-career families are more prevalent, or because their parents have left their hometowns to work.
There is a slightly bizarre detail in the film, but it is praised by many viewers as "extremely real" and "I did it when I was a child".
Xiao Lan's neighbor sister suddenly died unexpectedly, and Xiao Lan had a terrible nightmare for the first time when she understood the cruelty of life and death.
She woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and the first thing she did when she woke up was to tiptoe to the head of her grandfather's bed.
Carefully put his hand on his face and sniffle.
Everything was normal, and she was relieved.
The young man did not know the world, but the instinctive dependence on the most trusted old man, and the fear of losing him, were all in this small action.
In more difficult times, the two grandchildren are really literally, only one can rely on each other.
Xiaolan suffered a lot in school because of her family background and "unfortunate" surname Jiang.
Everyone laughed at her, teased her, and even bullied and abused her.
Grandpa is the only relative around her, the only adult, and the only protective umbrella.
In order to let Xiaolan learn some skills and stay in the town in the future, Grandpa carried her to the gymnastics team.
Relying on the acquaintance relationship, it is good to say evil, so that the teacher can look at Xiaolan squarely.
Xiao Lan's condition was not material for practicing gymnastics at all. Come up and press your legs for 10 seconds, crying worse than killing a pig.
On the side, the grandfather who witnessed the whole process was helpless, and quickly posed a monkey face to make Xiaolan laugh.
After class, I pulled Xiaolan out of the house, and even said that I didn't practice anymore, so let's find something else to learn.
It was at this moment that I suddenly felt that this old man who lived more than 40 years ago was actually very similar to the grandfather of my generation.
They are the longest of the traditional family, the head of the family, silent and less, doing more than talking.
But when dealing with the small things at home, there is always unconditional accommodation that prevails.
Grandpa took Xiaolan to get an injection, Xiaolan was a ghost crying wolf howl, and Grandpa quickly coaxed "Go home and give you candy to eat";
The doctor gave a blank look: her teeth were already bad, and she ate candy.
Xiao lan was also excluded from the gymnastics team, and could not receive gymnastics uniforms that were only eligible for official team members;
Grandpa only operated through the ghost, and was stunned to sew two autumn pants legs on the swimsuit.
On harmless little things, he will instinctively indulge you.
When it comes to protecting yourself from bullying, he will do everything he can to protect you.
However, there are still untouchable questions of principle.
Xiao Lan's grandfather sometimes beat her.
If you break the bottom line - lying and deceiving people, there is no room for talking.
"Ring ruler."
As soon as Grandpa said these two words, Xiao Lan usually played wildly, and would obediently hold the ring ruler with tears.
The old man who lived a life of integrity and refused to humiliate himself for driving a train to the Japanese during the War of Resistance Against Japan, the only grandchild under his knees valued most was nothing more than to be honest and be a good person.
So the poignant conversation at the beginning of the article, and the following.
Xiao Lan asked, where did the man go after he died?
Grandpa said that the good people are in heaven and the bad people are on earth.
What kind of people are good people? Helping people to do good deeds and not talking nonsense is a good person.
After grandpa died, Xiao Lan was alone on the side of the coffin and secretly confessed two lies she had told.
Grandpa asked her to send cantaloupe to the gymnastics coach, and she was afraid that people would think that she would slap her ass, so she ate it herself;
Grandpa's favorite orchid was accidentally killed by her.
"I hid these two things from you, for fear that you would be disappointed in me, and I never dared to tell you."
Speaking out now, I am also afraid that I will not be a good person and will not be able to meet my grandfather in heaven in the future.
My tears erupted here.
Children who are sheltered by old people actually understand everything.
The more he was favored and indulged, the more reluctant he was to let him down in what really mattered.
But time was too cruel, and they always seemed to have no chance to see that the child who didn't know anything had really grown into a good adult.
02
The chagrin of "too late" seems to be a knot that all adults can never get around when they remember their deceased ancestors.
The time spent together is destined not to last long, and there is too much blank time to chew later.
The most cruel thing in the movie is not the ending of Grandpa's death.
Rather, watching him slowly age, the powerlessness of the life force being sucked out of his body little by little.
At first, Grandpa was in good health, taking care of all the affairs of the two families and taking good care of the little granddaughter.
In order to give her the conditions to practice gymnastics, she even personally hit a wooden pole.
Later, Grandpa's legs and feet were not so sharp, and he had to walk on crutches when he went out.
Later, cooking was no longer enough.
Later, you can't take care of yourself when you eat, and you have to be fed like a child.
At this time, the person who held the ring ruler to "admonish" was replaced by Xiao Lan.
Most of the time, the old grandpa just sits quietly, not talking, and doesn't know what he's thinking.
He was no longer the old man who could run around for a night in search of Xiao Lan, who had run away from home.
Jiang Wenli wrote in the memoir of the same name in this movie:
"He supported me to grow up, and I accompanied him through the road of life."
A life grows tall and strong like a small tree. A life, like an old tree, slowly fell. ”
When did The Little Tree begin to realize that his life was going in the opposite direction with the old tree?
For Xiaolan, this process happened too ruthlessly.
She was only twelve or thirteen years old, but as her grandfather's health deteriorated day by day, she had to complete the transition between caring for and being taken care of.
Even calm like a child, doing things in an orderly manner, and changing the law to make Grandpa happy.
I originally wondered if the film portrayed her too strongly, and whether the director glorified herself in her memory.
Until I saw her turn her back on her grandfather at night, biting her hand and not daring to cry.
But for more people now, because of the distance between time and space, it is difficult to always immerse themselves in the state of witnessing the aging of their ancestors.
As I grew older, I went home less often, and the interval between each meeting became longer.
When I go home and see the person I know best, I will suddenly be surprised by his strangeness:
Although he was already old when he met him, time would still make him more "old" than "old".
But people often don't suddenly wake up at a point in time, "I want to cherish the time with him."
More often, in the memories after the loss, everything turns into regret for "why I didn't do anything more in the first place?"
What makes me feel most difficult to let go of the whole film is actually a very ordinary plot.
On summer evenings, the two grandfathers took shelter in the courtyard.
Grandpa turned over the medals he had given as a train driver when he was young, and told Xiaolan one by one which big official had driven the train at that time and how to fight with the Japanese.
It's rare to have so many words.
But before he could finish talking about the end, XiaoLan fell asleep.
Grandpa turned his head to look at it, and then he put away the conversation box and blew out the light to sleep.
It has not been filmed again later in the movie, and Grandpa is so interested in his past, talking about so many plots.
Just like in our lives, you don't know which inconspicuous moment to miss.
Those words that were not finished, the past that had not been asked.
I regret it when I think about it later, and all the memories I have with him are stacked with moments that have been let go because they are too commonplace.
03
In the movie, Xiaolan's reluctance to give up her grandfather and her understanding of death turn into an orchid.
Grandpa is a person who loves orchids, and there is a pot of treasures that have been raised since the year Xiaolan was born.
At first, it pinned on Grandpa's love and expectations for his little granddaughter.
Later, Orchid pinned her wishes on the grandchildren that Xiaolan's parents would return from Xinjiang as soon as possible.
Unfortunately, Xiaolan did something bad with good intentions and poured wheat milk cream to death
Grandpa's deteriorating health probably began at the same time as this hope was shattered.
The orchid began to turn into Xiao Lan's wish to keep her grandfather.
On the walls of her home, stroke by stroke, she painted orchids.
Like the protagonist in O Henry's novel, she believes that if the orchid never withers, Grandpa will never leave her.
Making such a fine and dense child's heart into a movie is destined not to open up and close, and there will be great joy and sorrow.
If every ordinary person off the camera asks himself, it is difficult to answer this question for a while:
When we can't leave our late ancestors, what we miss?
In the book of the same name, Jiang Wenli wrote a simple but extremely moving memory.
It was strange that the scenes that Grandpa had left a deep impression on her mind and would recall repeatedly were also very trivial.
Not a dramatic moment of parting from life and death.
It was she who once had a mud print on her cotton jacket, and she was so sad that she cried all the time at home.
After crying and walking out of the bedroom, I saw—
"In the sun, by the chimney stove, Grandpa wore reading glasses, held up my cotton jacket, and roasted on the fire, brushing the mud off little by little with a small brush as he baked.
People's memories are often made up of pictures. Thirty years after my grandfather left me, the scene by the fire still clearly appears in front of me.
Later, I wore that cotton jacket for many years, and on the hem of the front placket, there was always a mud mark that could not be brushed off.
Many winters after my grandfather's death, whenever I saw that mud mark, I burst into tears. ”
Jiang Wenli decided to make this film in 2004. She wrote in the book's afterword that she was in a state of disorientation at that time.
Like ants on a hot pot, constantly working, constantly spinning, not knowing what the point of all this is.
Remembering her grandfather and her childhood is also an opportunity for her to find a spiritual home.
What is far away is not only the bits and pieces of getting along with grandpa, but also the days when they were poor but happy, and they could keep a small world in chaos.
Reading this, I suddenly understood a little bit why this bland movie does not feel boring.
It's a groggy sense of security.
It reminds me not only of the old man who also pampered me, but also of a relationship that is closest to pure emotion.
In China's family affection, it is inevitable that there will be the undercurrent of power relations, the calculation of return and payment, the forbearance and sacrifice...
Only between grandchildren are these most likely to be forgotten.
In the memory filter of the younger generations over the years, this feeling can even be close to the vacuum, and it is a utopia that can be accepted by pampering no matter how old they are.
The biggest tear point in the whole film: Found that Xiaolan was secretly crying, and the grandfather on the sickbed dressed as a monkey face to make her laugh
The old man who cannot forget to leave is because he does not want to accept that this purity will eventually be taken away by time and death.
Since then, the whole world has been full of deceit and profit calculation, but there is no longer a person who is unconditionally waiting to accept you and hope that you are just healthy and happy.
But it didn't matter, Xiao Lan would still often think of grandpa's clumsy appearance as a monkey face every time she cried and drooled.
Everyone must have such a moment in their heart, more than one, and will never forget.
This may be the orchid that will never be defeated.