No more looking for you, no more annoying you...

"No Longer Look for You" | text: Water Lotus Ink

"The memory has been dried by time, and I will put it where I see it from time to time."

/01/

A bouquet of cute doll flowers stood quietly in a corner of the office, silently watching me busy, listening to me answer the phone, sharing the joy of my typing words, and breaking down the lonely time when I stopped the work at hand. This is your gift to me in March 8th, and it has always been by my side, with me. But I want to know who you are.

It's you? It's him? Or her? I don't want to look for it anymore. I just want to express my deep gratitude to you in this moment, three days after the search, with my heart, in my almost trembling language, with my light ten fingers waving on the keyboard, turning my full of emotions into words, flowing all over the paper, full of paper.

Maybe you are the God, in the thick clouds and rain, the sad clouds, the day before the festival is coming, sprinkle love for me, light a brilliant and bright sky, wave your hand, and hand me the sunshine of the world.

Maybe you don't know that when the bouquet of elegant and festive blessing dolls was delivered, I was not in the office, I was doing things outside the rain and fog locked city, and when I returned, the back of the flower girl had long disappeared into the hazy smoke and rain outside the building. Just like you, like the dots of stars in the night sky, only with your affectionate gaze, standing far away in the night sky, looking at me, while I stand in the confusion of the night, looking up and looking, I don't know which star is you.

You know, if the flower girl is right in front of my eyes, I will definitely grab her, hold her, and not let her turn away too soon. I must inquire carefully, who is the person who set the flowers for me, he is good. However, the girl who floated by did not even leave a figure for me, until she threw the mystery of the rain and fog to me like this, telling me how not to think day and night, how not to hide my worries?

You know what? At that moment, in the envious eyes of my colleagues, I already knew what the happiest thing in the world was.

/02/

Holding the bouquet of cute rag dolls with a "Happy Holidays" greeting sign and eight "Happy Happy" badges, looking at the bag of selected food, the day before the Coming of March 8th, I was already immersed in the ocean of happiness and joy, intoxicated for a long time, unwilling to wake up.

You know what? But I am really stupid, I have done everything in my life to inquire about your news, but I am still like a stone sinking into the sea, and I have not heard from you. I would like to ask the wind that has blown across my face, and the rain that has drifted in front of the window, if you know where you are in the world of heaven and earth at this moment, and send him a message on my behalf, telling him that I have searched for him day and night.

Quietly, A person also asked himself, perhaps, it was a mistake, so he once again chased after the colleague who collected flowers for me, I had to ask a question, and the result of the confirmation was that there was no possibility of mistakes. What I am left with is still only a single search.

So, silly, silly, turning over scene after scene of the past, searching for my past life, about my past, I wanted to find out, I had been related to you in which life and which life, had I paid for you, let you be so deliberate, carefully prepared for my happiness.

I also tried to wonder if, when and where I had touched your heartstrings, making you intoxicated, unable to let go, unforgettable, but you and I could not meet. Perhaps, just to give me greater satisfaction of the lack of merit, I am so bitter to ignore, not to see? Makes me happy, happy? Well, you have done it, and your strong affection has already perfumed the way I came and will go.

I also think, if I still have a beautiful flower-like light color, swaying the spring water of your river, I will not be confused by this, since ancient times is the talent of the beautiful people to sing, obsessive interpretation to stay for eternity. However, I am not the one of the flowers in the garden, and I cannot attract butterflies to dance and fly drunken spring light. I am just a grass in a ravine, without the presentation of scenery, just silently guarding the mountains and rivers, spending my spring and autumn.

If I am a heroic and talented woman who covers mountains and rivers, then I will not bother to inquire about you, because it has always been the clouds with the moon, and the mountains and rivers look for the sound. But I, at best, am a river of sand, unable to bring an amorous cloud, unable to chase a beautiful wave.

In the years when the days are like clouds, who else has loved me? For me, I will put in your heart a festival that has been spent by women all over the world. But it is you, alone for me, who is deliberately decorated, full of affection, so that my heartstrings are not touched fiercely, and how can my eyes not be filled with crystal tears?

It's just that why, why don't you leave a few words, only a bunch of emotions, only a sad thought on the ground, how can I not sleep at night.

In fact, I have been waiting quietly, waiting for the pleasant bell to ring, waiting for a voice to drift in, a line of information jumping out of the curtain, gently pushing open the mysterious door and window for me. But one day, two days, three days, time and the rain outside the house gradually flowed away, flowing away, but I did not see King's Landing in the wind, in the rain, as if it were just far away, standing in the clouds, in the fog. I can't find it, I can't see it.

Maybe I can see in your world at a glance, but you just want to look at me so quietly, maybe you are the you I have sought. Or let me quietly live happily by your side, in your world.

Could it be that you are afraid, afraid of disturbing my peaceful life? Could it be that you are afraid that you can't walk into my world and can't give me the future I want? Perhaps, you have clearly understood that the fate of this life is predestined, and you can only give you and me a chance to be close but the end of the world? Perhaps, you just want to give me eternal surprises like this, and let me be intoxicated for the rest of my life? In this way, that is, I will not look for you, only silently pray for me, I hope that in the next life I can know you, I hope, in the next life, the person closest to me is you, is you.

Picking up the bouquet of simple and cute dolls again, carefully examining and stroking each "happy and happy" doll, they were smiling at me, like a group of little angels in line, and I was determined that I would no longer look for you. Because my heart is already hanging high in the moon, and the wind is gentle, and there is a fountain of happiness flowing quietly between my heart. Since you just want to be happy all the way over there, then I have turned lightly and raised my hand at this end, and not a drop has slipped into my bosom. Even if it is, for your sake, I will live every day, every moment, every moment.

I decided to carefully put away these dolls and treasure them for the rest of my life. Don't let them be shrouded in dust in the flow of years, dried by time, I will put it in the place I see from time to time, let me always remember, and there is a you behind the ethereal years, silently watching me, caring for me, hoping that I am happy, hoping that I am happy, I am enough.

Thank you so much! I was really happy because of the coming of the angels! So happy!

Here, too, I wish you eternal happiness! Happy I!

Image source network, invasion and deletion

author

Pen name: Water Lotus Ink Ink, loves poetry and prose, likes to express the emotions of the soul with words.

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