【Netizen Contribution】
Coordinates Shanghai, my girlfriend and I work in the same well-known Internet factory, I am a technology, monthly salary of 25,000, she is the operation, monthly salary of 22,000.
A year ago, the relationship was established, and we were all planning to get married.
But lately my girlfriend always said that my salary was too low to make her feel insecure.
I asked her how much work I had to satisfy you and feel secure, and she said at least twice as much as she did.
She also said that the girlfriends and little sisters she knew were looking for boyfriends whose salaries were at least 2 times higher than her own, and it was more face-saving to say so.
She said that she told others that our salaries were 2.5 and 2.2 respectively, and her girlfriend said to her sympathetically, "Then you will not have to retire when you get married in the future."
Another girlfriend said that if a man who really wants to get married will not be so "unmotivated".
I felt very uncomfortable when I heard this, what kind of friends did she make?
Shouldn't the two of them raise a family together after marriage?
What is it called that she raises me, am I not making money or what, I have a monthly salary of twenty-five thousand per month, is it very low?
Low enough to be looked down upon?
Low enough to be sympathetic?
Another thing that makes me angry lately is that my girlfriends always say, consciously or unconsciously, that their group leader's monthly salary is forty thousand, and that the team leader is four years older than me.
The implication of my girlfriend is that if my salary is not forty thousand after four years, I am not qualified.
But she also knows that we do program development, in fact, it is difficult to get a promotion and salary increase, if it is not a team leader, department head, there is almost no chance to raise salary.
And unlike the often commissions they do in operations, our technology is basically a dead wage.
I don't understand now how she is completely different from last year, and seems to be particularly concerned in terms of salary, as if my salary is not more than twice her, it is not reliable.
I hope you can help me think of a way, or help me analyze what the psychology of my girlfriend is.
I sent this contribution to my readership and asked them to help analyze the problems between the couple.
Everyone naturally divided into two factions, one faction standing boys and the other standing girls.
Stand on the boys' side for the following reasons:
1. Is it possible that your girlfriend is already looking for an object with a "monthly salary of 40,000"?
Since she has made it clear that men should earn more than women, and twice as much, and even pointed out the specific goal of existence (her group leader), does this mean that she has long looked down on you?
To tell the truth, although your monthly salary of 25,000 yuan is enough to spend, it is really not much higher in the big city of Shanghai.
The woman's monthly salary is also more than 20,000, and it is an operation position, indicating that the level of people she is now in contact with may be higher than before, and there are more people who see excellent people, so I hope that you will develop to a higher place.
The circle of people is like this, if you are around you who are worse than you, you will naturally feel a sense of superiority;
If she is surrounded by people who are better than you, it will naturally look at you with all kinds of unpleasantness.
2, if you really can't communicate with her, you can only change a girlfriend.
In fact, your girlfriend clearly expressed to you that "I think your salary is too low", and her meaning is already very clear:
She can't look up to you now, and in the future, even if your salary becomes higher, it is estimated that she will not look up to you either.
The problem between you is not the question of how much you are paid, but that her heart may no longer be with you.
As mentioned in the first point above, perhaps due to the influence of her circle, the people she know may not be on monthly salaries but on annual salaries.
So I suggest that you can talk openly and honestly, let her say what she really thinks, if it really can't work, you can only get together and disperse.
Stand on the girl's side for the following reasons:
1) Your girlfriend has good reasons to dislike you, for the simple reason: just because her monthly salary is almost the same as yours.
In our society men and women want to struggle to a level, women have to give more you don't know, right?
To make a simple analogy, such as men and women with the same qualifications in all aspects, competing for the same job, the company will consider:
Is this woman about to get married, to have children, will she take maternity leave, will she delay her work because she takes care of her family?
But companies don't think about these in male candidates because our society tacitly accepts that "men don't need to do this."
So, your girlfriend is now working in the same big company as you, and her monthly salary is almost the same as yours, indicating that her ability is actually much higher than yours.
Because in addition to her academic qualifications and abilities as you, she also has to use more ability to prove that she is stronger than men.
Use real ability to break through gender prejudice and discrimination, so that you stand on the same income level as you, understand?
2) Considering the additional costs that women will have to pay in marriage, men should have compensated materially.
For example, after marriage, women are more likely to bear most of the housework, but also bear the risk of childbearing alone, as well as the encroachment and sacrifice of professional energy brought about by childbirth and child-rearing.
What is equality?
Equality is not how much money you earn, I have to earn how much money is so simple, just one thing, men and women can never be equal:
Can men share the risk of having children with women?
Women bear the risk of childbearing that must be borne alone due to their innate physiological structure, so what is wrong with men compensating for it materially?
This is true equality, right?
In the end, women alone bear the risk of childbirth, but also have to earn the same money as their husbands, the same to support the family is equal, right?
What robber logic.
discuss
Coordinates Shanghai, boys monthly salary of 25,000, girls monthly salary of 22,000, girls have a reason to dislike boys are not motivated?
How much do you think is appropriate for couples to have a monthly salary gap?
Feel free to share in the comments section.