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In the finals of a speech contest, a simple phrase on the screen that "success is the mother of success" may make the talented friends in the audience laugh - "What is this language level?" Even 'failure is the mother of success' can be remembered wrong? It's too weak! ”
If it were you, would you have such a first reaction?
However, does this sentence on the screen really deserve to be laughed at by the audience?
Body part
People often use "failure is the mother of success" to motivate a person to regain self-confidence and face the future with sunshine. But they may not realize that this short "old saying" will likely deepen his frustration again and put him under more pressure.
When the human body is in a difficult situation, it is like a reverse wave boat, which needs to consume more complex energy of its own, which contains sufficient personal strength, and more importantly, deep self-confidence and tenacious perseverance.
Where does a person's self-confidence come from? - Nature is a successful experience. In real life, when we comfort people who have experienced failure many times, we usually involuntarily say: "It doesn't matter, the next time we try, it will be good, after all, failure is the mother of success!" Don't be too sad..." Then, tell him in detail about the solution. But this is not as you wish, let him quickly release the pressure, turn pessimism into calm, because what he always lacks is the successful experience, when he follows your advice, because of the fear of failure, so it is still resistant to the pressure baggage, once it fails again, it will double the previous frustration.
Why is that? For example —
American psychologist Seligman once did an experiment in which he kept a dog in a cage and applied an electric shock to the dog every time he rang the bell. When the dog was initially shocked, he jumped and wailed in the cage while trying to rush out of the cage, but in the end he did not succeed. After many experiments, when the bell rang again, the dog just lay on the ground moaning and trembling, and was powerless to resist. Later, even as the experimenter opened the cage door, the dog stopped trying to escape and began to groan and tremble before the shock could appear. According to common sense, the dog could have fled quickly at the moment of opening the door, but after repeated experiments, it thought that escaping was impossible and could not be done in any way, so it simply gave up all efforts.
If a person has only experienced failure since childhood, or rarely experienced success, then it will be difficult for him to gain deep self-confidence, and he will eventually give up any attempt under the difficulties like the dog above.
Therefore, we should let him actually experience success, and split a task that is huge for him into a multitude of easy tasks. If we compare the difficulties that need to be overcome to the cake that needs to be eaten, then we can divide a whole cake into many small pieces, let him eat the whole cake one bite at a time, piece by piece, taste the sweetness of success, water the seeds of self-confidence, and take root and thrive under the nourishment of a sense of accomplishment. Then we "accidentally" add a little larger piece of cake to the small cake according to the actual situation, and gradually each cake is divided into larger pieces, so that he can not lose confidence while increasing difficulty. After completing these, when he faces these problems "cake" again, he naturally not only has deep self-confidence, but also has deep personal strength and tenacious perseverance.
Failure is the mother of success, there is nothing wrong with it, but the premise also needs to be based on "success is the mother of success", otherwise it will become "failure is the mother of failure", leading people into the trough of life, and no longer have the courage to fight against failure.