I have entered middle age, but once young and young, I still unconsciously yearn for and smile when I think of my former idols. Think about the "Ke Sai", "Little Dragon Man", "Junior Secret Agent Team" in childhood, to the "Leader Warrior" and "Jack Ultraman" in my youth, the "Little Tiger Team" and "Four Heavenly Kings" in adolescence, etc., it can be said that this is my youth, which belongs to my personal very good memories. As the child grows up, he also has his own idol, and invests the time, energy, and money that we believe to apply to study and live into the love and support of the idol. As parents, how do we view our children's star-chasing and idolatry?
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First, the reason why parents oppose their children's star chasing and idolatry
1. Distraction, affecting academics
Star chasing or idolatry will inevitably involve and distract children's energy, making it difficult to balance learning, star chasing and the comprehensive growth of personal qualities, which is unacceptable to parents.
2. Idols frequently "collapse the house", affecting the children's three views
With the gradual growth of children, it is necessary to build self-identity, under the influence of rapid changes in appearance and high levels of hormones, integrate their desires, abilities, and dreams into a complete self, and verify their position in the collective in various challenges and obligations of society. At this stage, the child is in a special stage of self-pursuit and desire to be noticed and identified, so conflict, imitation, and adaptation cycle through the child at this stage. Recently, the inappropriate or illegal acts of entertainment stars have frequently been exposed, which has caused parents to worry that their children will be affected by bad idols and establish distorted three views, which will affect their children's lives.
3. Vicious rice circle culture
As a subcultural group, the fan community has always been "stigmatized" by the mainstream cultural part, presupposing a bad stereotype in people's minds. Coupled with the greedy erosion and squeezing of the commercial value of idols by commercial capital, parents are worried that their children lack judgment and are trapped in a bad culture.
4. Impulsive consumption, resulting in property damage
The jargon in the fandom is "XX's smile is guarded by us", "XX is our bottom line", "Although your records may be expensive and my funds are not so sufficient, I am still willing to give most of my money to support you." 」 Adults still have difficulty resisting temptation, let alone teenagers who lack self-control, and parents' worries are not unreasonable.
Second, then you can't chase stars and have idols? Star chasing is not useless
1. Establish a sense of belonging and join new community relationships
A fan community is an emotional community built around the same emotional object (idol star), in which members have different life experiences, in which children can find people who feel the same as themselves, learn to integrate into new circles, meet new friends, and then gain a sense of belonging and identity.
2. Learn to pay and give, and realize self-worth
The fan base also has its own hierarchy and permission stratification, and the standard for division is often through the recognition and understanding of idol stars and through gratuitous labor and sharing of the fan base, to express their love for another person in a given way, completing the connection and interaction between the individual and the fan community and the external world.
3. The cathartic object of emotions and emotions
Due to the maturity of the mind, children in the growth period and adolescence have been vaguely curious and longing for the opposite sex, but they are often unable to express themselves normally for shyness and cultural reasons. The stage performance of idol stars, whether it is external conditions or audio-visual works, is more perfect to carry the silhouette of the ideal lover of children in this period.
4. High-quality idols that inspire children to grow
Success is not accidental, and the success of high-quality idol stars is inseparable from good education, well-honed professional skills, hard-working and tenacious will quality, and gentle and humble personal qualities. Children may draw strength from the successful experience of their idols and spontaneously transform them into the motivation for their own growth.
Third, in the process of children chasing stars, what should parents do?
I think that in this matter, "blocking is not as good as neglecting", for children who already have a certain sense of autonomy, parents blindly use strong to play a counterproductive effect, it is better to change a way of thinking to look at and understand the children's star chasing and idolatry, the idea is: understanding and upgrading.
1, first do not rush to deny the child, it is better to start from the star of the child, to have a common language with the child, first of all, to enter the child's context. Get to know his idol first, and then follow him to fan his idol.
2. When you have a foundation for communication with your child, you can analyze and share with your child "Why is he so good?" "What are his advantages", "Why do we like him", etc., help children gradually transform from idealism, romanticism, and absolutism to realism, rationalism, and relativism. In this way, the initial fanaticism gradually cooled down.
3. Since the child recognizes his idol, it is better to try to let the child understand and try the personal hobbies of the idol. Whether it's music, painting, basketball, skateboarding, reading or playing the piano, there is no good or bad brave to try and focus on achieving a certain goal. Enrich your child's brain and body, focusing more on real life and new interpersonal circles.
4. Improving children's aesthetics, listening to other people's speeches, watching art exhibitions, film and television dramas, reading, and traveling are all good ways to improve children's aesthetic and cognitive level. When children broaden their horizons, they naturally have a new understanding of excellence and success.
5, as the saying goes, "three hundred and sixty lines, the line out of the yuan", in different areas of life, industries have high-quality idols, may wish to help children take their vision out of the entertainment circle to the whole world, to understand such as "Mr. Yuan Longping", "Ms. Tu Youyou", "Mr. Lu Yao", "Mr. Yang Zhenning" and other outstanding figures.
6, for the use of funds, I personally feel that as children become rational and realistic, there is no need to completely suppress, reasonable and moderate consumption is not a kind of emotional release. However, what needs to be clear to children is that whether it is the amount of funds, the frequency of consumption, or the energy involved, there is a scale and degree of limitation. Parents need to cultivate their children's self-control and exercise their children's ability to delay gratification.
summary
Children's star chasing, idolatry is said to be a primitive need for human "love and belonging", blind suppression will not play any positive role, the important thing is that parents use more companionship and understanding to help children through the critical period of personality, humanity, and the growth and perfection of the three views.
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