I was moving bricks at the construction site in order to make a living, but I heard my sophomore daughter say that she was going to quit school to get married, and she was pregnant with her boyfriend's child...
In a person's life, there are many choices that need to be made every day, and some wrong choices are insignificant, but once some choices are wrong, a lifetime will be ruined.
And the worst choice I've ever made in my life is that when my financial strength didn't allow it, I desperately sent my children to college.
Hello everyone, my surname is Cao, I am 55 years old this year, I have a son and a daughter.
My husband and I were both natives of the countryside, with no money and not much study, and after we got married, we followed the villagers to the city to work.
The husband helps others drive a tractor, and every day he gets up early and is busy in the dark, just to pull a few more sand red bricks and earn more money.
And I bought a second-hand tricycle, went to the wholesale market and got some garlic and ginger and other things to set up a stall at the entrance of the community.
Although we had a hard time, we had a home in the city, although the rental house was only 6 square meters, and it was more than ten meters to go to the toilet.
Our rental house is on the first floor, and the door is where we usually cook meals, but next to it is a car wash, and every time we stir-fry vegetables while being splashed with water from the car wash.
Because it is coal burning, the house is small, and it can only be boiled outside, and then the things are moved back to the house after cooking.
The most frightening thing is that every night, there are always people outside the window to open a flashlight to take a picture of the inside, to see if anyone lives, if found to be living, it will be fined.
So we always can't sleep soundly at night, and once we hear movement, we will immediately fold the quilt, make up the bed, and then hide behind the door.
It was on these days of fear that we welcomed our eldest son.
The husband is loyal and honest, and more and more bosses are looking for him to pull goods, and the money he earns is slowly increasing.
We also moved from the first floor to the third floor of the house, although the room is still only 6 square meters, but the toilet is at the end of the corridor, a few steps away, it is much more convenient to take a shower and go to the toilet.
Most importantly, there is no sound of car washing here, and there is no need to move cooking things in and out, just put them in the hallway.
There is an iron gate on each floor here, and after closing it, you are not afraid of things being stolen, and you are not afraid of someone checking at night.
When my son was 2 years old, my little daughter was also born.
I couldn't bear to send them back to my hometown, so I took the two babies with me and set up a stall on three wheels.
I don't sell ingredients anymore, it's easy to spoil, and I have to buy them often. I switched to selling paper towels, there are webs and small bags of paper towels, this shelf life is long, and once the goods can be sold for a long time.
It may be that it is not easy for customers to see me with two children, so my business is particularly good and I can earn daily food expenses.
After all, the two children are too young, so I only set up half a day in the morning and do housework at home in the afternoon, playing with the children.
My husband and I are well aware of the sin of not being literate, so we have unanimously decided that no matter how much heartache we pay, we must provide for the children to study well.
Only when you are admitted to college and have the ability, that means that you have a good job and life, and you will have a good job.
We don't have much ability to improve our lives, so we hope that they will change their fate after going to college, and no longer be like us, no money, no power, no background, and can only rely on a pair of hands to do the hardest and most tiring work to support their families.
Although going to college is not the only option to change our destiny, in our cognition, it is the fairest and most direct way.
As long as you have a college diploma as a "stepping stone", then the road ahead will certainly be smooth and smooth, and you will definitely be able to live the life you want.
As the children grew up, we also saved a lot of money, and the husband bought a second-hand agricultural car, so that he could pull more goods and earn faster.
Our two children are really hard working, but they do lose on the genetic and starting line, after all, learning is not just a one-sided effort to get good results.
Neither of them got into a good university, but we gritted our teeth and sent them to an ordinary prestigious university.
There is money for everything, and the annual expenditure is almost more than our income, which makes us, who are not rich in the first place, even worse and bear more pressure.
In order to make more money and not let them save money at school and delay their studies, I sold three rounds and went to work as a small worker at the construction site where my husband often pulled sand, where the salary was more than I earned from setting up a stall.
Sweating in the summer, frostbite and blood in the winter, I endured the frostbite and blood on my hands and feet.
Waking up early and dark, the workload is heavy, just a few years, my hair is white, and I am full of problems.
My husband, who was supposed to be in his prime, had gray and thinning hair, and then he shaved his head directly.
Until now, he hadn't seen a single hair on his head, and as soon as it grew out, he shaved it, and he couldn't see it and wasn't bothered.
We tried to create a good learning environment for our children, but our sophomore daughter suddenly told me that she was getting married.
I almost didn't faint after hearing it, and I was busy asking her what was wrong?
It turned out that she was in love at the beginning of her freshman year, and her sophomore was pregnant with her boyfriend's child. She said that she was too tired to study and had nothing to gain, so she planned to quit school to get married, give birth to children, and save us some tuition, so as not to let us worry so much.
Getting married may not be a big deal, but the boy's family conditions are worse than my family's, not only in the countryside, but also in the family and younger siblings studying.
Not only could not get a penny of the bride price, but the family house was still a tattered tile house.
It was also because of this time that my husband was gased out of high blood pressure.
When he learned of this, he was furious and ran to his daughter's school with a shovel, saying that he would kill the boy first, and then throw his daughter into the river.
If it weren't for the school security guards stopping him, with his violent temper, he really might not have done something stupid.
After the incident, there was a lot of commotion at school, the daughter knew that she had no face to wait, so she did not say goodbye, directly followed the boy back to his hometown, a tough momentum of "marrying a chicken with a chicken and marrying a dog with a dog, no one can break up our love".
We should scold and persuade her, but she swore not to turn back, what can we do as parents, we can't really force her to die, right? One corpse and two lives.
In order to give our daughter a place in the man's family, we paid for her a decent wedding.
Later, after the birth of her child, she had no experience at a young age, and her temperament was still like a little girl who did not grow up, so she left the child in her hometown to her mother-in-law, and she went to the supermarket in the county town to find a job to do.
Although we are poor, our daughters have been pampered from childhood to adulthood, and we love like princesses.
Maybe it's that we spoil her too much, which leads to her lawlessness and unreasonable trouble.
We can't blame others, we can only complain that we ourselves will not discipline, so we send our daughter to an unknown road with a vague future, ruining all possibilities for the future.
Compared to our daughter, our eldest son, who is in our senior year, is much more capable.
Although it was the same university, he had not yet officially graduated, and during his internship, he was recruited by a large company and got a decent job.
This makes us feel lost and sad, and finally get some relief and comfort.
I thought that heaven had the virtue of good life, and when the god of luck came to our family, troubles came to our house again.
I really applied for the phrase "The roof leaks in the overnight rain!" ”
We have always felt that our son is the boss and has the ability to take on everything.
So in his growth, we paid more attention to our daughter and never ignored him, so that his personality has always been introverted and unsmiling.
Coupled with the fact that he has been reading books for more than ten years and has no social experience, he began to sullen and unhappy soon after he went to work.
He refused to tell us why, so we kept asking, and finally he had to tell us the truth.
He said that the head of the department did not want to see him, often let him carry the pot, and his colleagues were reluctant to interact with him, and avoided him like a monster.
Looking in the eyes, anxious in the heart, we told him to change his personality, try to integrate into the collective, say more good things to the leader, don't be silent all day, immerse yourself in your own world...
We were nice to talk about, but he didn't agree.
He said that he had his own ideas and did not need the approval of the leader and the friendship of colleagues, deliberately, and falsely felt sorry for it. As long as he does his job well and has a clear conscience.
The son maintained his own style, acting like a transparent person in the same position for several years.
His colleagues around him in the same period were either promoted or raised, but he was still the same as when he first joined.
I lost sleep at night, and my hair fell out a lot, but I couldn't help it.
What worries me even more is his marriage.
They are nearly thirty years old, and they don't even have a girlfriend!
I asked my friends to go around looking for girls to date him, but in the end he was rejected by girls.
They didn't think he looked like him or his income, but they hated him uniformly: sitting together for half an hour, he didn't say a word, it was too boring! Even if you take the initiative to ask him, it is also a question and an answer, and the words are like gold, and they will never say a word.
Finally, in desperation, without a choice, I began to help him introduce the second marriage, divorced woman with children to him, but he was still disliked.
I sometimes cry so much that he gets annoyed as soon as I cry and complains to me impatiently.
"I have my own way of life, and you don't always impose your thoughts on me. Is it bad for me to live such a non-contentious life? Is it not fragrant for the Buddhist system to lie flat? Why find a woman to come back and take care of me? Now the girl is so noble and difficult to serve, spend a lot of money to marry back, have to coax her to serve her, and have to share the money in half of her to raise her, I am not stupid! ”
This was the most my son had ever said to me in my life, but I really wanted to slap him and wake him up.
I really hate iron not steel!
As the only son in the family, he never thought of paying for our family, to marry a daughter-in-law and have a son to pass on.
Every time I go back to my hometown, I will be pointed out by my family, and he will never understand the pressure I bear, and I always feel that getting married and having children is his personal affair, and has nothing to do with the family.
I don't know what exactly I gave birth to? Don't know what I'm doing wrong? Other people's children are here to repay the favor, and my family is here to take revenge.
Was it because I had too much hope for them at the beginning, or was it wrong when I desperately tried to provide them with a book?
The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. I bet the happiness of the second half of my life on their two brothers and sisters, but in exchange for this ending.
Today, my husband and I are over half a hundred years old, and my husband is still earning money day and night, and we still can't afford to buy a house, renting a two-bedroom apartment that is more than 30 years old and dilapidated.
Not to mention those social security health insurance, we have nothing! You can only take advantage of the fact that you can earn more money now and give yourself a pension in the future, and your children are obviously unreliable.
In the face of two children who were raised with one hand and were reluctant to let them suffer, I had no choice but to do so, and I had no heart to be beautiful.
Looking back and thinking about it, we desperately provided them with school and neglected daily education, which may be the most wrong choice I have ever made in my life, right?
summary
The mood of parents looking forward to their sons and daughters to become phoenixes has always existed since ancient times, which is not wrong and can be understood.
But while looking forward to children, we must also understand: the cultivation of personality and positive mentality in daily life, as well as the ability to adapt to the environment... Sometimes it's more important than good grades.
Poor parents in the world, I hope that Cao Jie's life can be better and better! [Prayer] [Prayer]