Family failure is inseparable from a "luxury" word, human defeat is inseparable from a "yi" word, and annoying people cannot be separated from a "proud" word. Not being full of human feelings is to teach us that we must leave room for everything, that we cannot do everything, that we cannot exhaust the momentum, that we cannot enjoy all the blessings, and that we cannot say everything.
First, do not be ignorant of your own heart
The ancients said: "Look up to the sky, and bow down to people." "When doing things as a person, we must not be ignorant of our own hearts, do things in a bright and straightforward manner, and do not harm the interests of others behind our backs."
Don't be ignorant of your own heart, and dare to face your mistakes. Covering up your mistakes is a mistake that most people make. But the saints have long told us not to cover up our mistakes, but to actively correct them. The transgressions of a gentleman are also like the eclipse of the sun and the moon.
Everyone sees it, and even more, everyone looks up to it. A gentleman's faults are like solar and lunar eclipses, and when mistakes are made, people can see them, correct them, and people still admire him.
A gentleman is bright and upright, he is honest in the world, making mistakes is a mistake of no intention, in broad daylight, people can see, unlike ordinary people who sneak around behind their backs and do bad things, it is difficult for people to find.
In his early years, Zeng Guofan realized that he was "harsh and annoying" in getting along with people, and he had a proud attitude, "the meaning of a good name, but also claimed to be one level higher than others", he through deep reflection, determined to make complete corrections, wrote in his diary: "The day before the clouds, except for the quiet words, there is no place to start, now forget the Yay? Quit talking more in the future, like quitting smoking. If you talk nonsense again, the gods will be destroyed! And those who do not abandon me, and always rebuke him. ”
Zeng Guofan's determination to reflect and reform is great and his will is rare. To keep the light of the heart unquenchable, and to always observe his own mistakes, Zeng Guofan believes that the first thing is to "not deceive yourself." ”
He believes that people have the ability to distinguish between good and evil, but they are unwilling to work hard to do it, and the reason why they are impermanent in doing things and cultivating themselves is because they are self-deception, self-deception is a kind of escape, not by the big husband, from self-deception to deception.
As long as you can do not deceive yourself, first ask yourself questions, do not feel ashamed, then you can do anything to the end and achieve results. Therefore, Zeng Guofan demanded that he must not deceive himself.
In order to discover and correct shortcomings and faults in time without self-deception, Zeng Guofan adopted two methods, one is to let relatives and friends supervise from time to time and ask them to point out their mistakes in time; the other is to keep a diary to summarize and reflect on his daily words and deeds.
Second, it is not humane
Not being full of human feelings is to teach us that we must leave room for everything, that we cannot do everything, that we cannot exhaust the momentum, that we cannot enjoy all the blessings, and that we cannot say everything. Therefore, in "Zhou Yi", it is said that Kang Long has regrets. Leaving no room for anything, life is bound to have many regrets.
We will always encounter all kinds of people, many people may show weaknesses and mistakes, at this time, if you step by step, seize the mistakes of others to strike to the end, do not give a little face, do not give the other party a little step down.
In this way, the other party will confront you tit-for-tat, tear your face and fight to the end, either he dies or you die! Not only will you not be able to be normal friends between you, but you may become enemies for generations. This is very detrimental to the expansion of your network and will seriously affect the development of your future career.
During the Tang Dynasty, Tang Suzong, the crown prince of Tang Xuanzong, often ate with Xuanzong when he was a child. Once, when eating meat and cake, Emperor Xuanzong asked his son to use a knife to cut the meat into small pieces. When the prince had finished cutting the meat and still had a lot of oil on his hands, he wiped the oil on his hands with a piece of bread.
Xuanzong looked at him sternly, and the prince knew that he was wrong, so he was so frightened that he quickly ate the cake used to wipe his hands. Emperor Xuanzong was overjoyed and said to the prince, "Blessed cannot be enjoyed!" For blessings, it should be cherished so much. Therefore, Xuanzong was able to create the "Rule of Kaiyuan" by no means a fluke.
In the "Chronicle of History and Funny Column", it is said: "The wine pole is chaotic, and the happy pole is sad." Everything is the same, the words are not extreme, and the extremes are decayed. "Blessings and misfortunes can be exchanged, and to the extreme, it is often the beginning of frustration: the most brilliant moment means that you will begin to go downhill.
Talking and doing things, the most difficult thing for people to deal with the world, I am afraid is how to grasp the measure. Everything has a standard, the so-called increase of one point is long, minus a point is short, not to meet the standard will naturally not produce good results, and beyond the limit will be too late.
Therefore, everything must pay attention to a dialectic, whether it is dealing with interpersonal relations, or work, labor, or entertainment and leisure, it needs to be done in moderation.
Don't do it all, don't say it, and enjoy the blessings. Flowers are half blooming, wine is half drunk, and when you are proud, you know how to stop at the right time, in order to enjoy the real fun of life.
Third, inexhaustible material resources
Fish without drying up, hunt without burning forests. This sentence is from the Huainan zi • main art training.
This means not draining the water in the lake or pool to catch fish, and not burning the mountains and forests to hunt prey. On the one hand, the heavens have the virtue of good life, and human beings ask nature for what they need, but they must follow the ecological laws so that they can live in harmony. If one takes and does everything in his power, what awaits us is bound to be the punishment in the eyes of nature.
Therefore, human beings should cherish material resources. In the "Zhu Zi Family Training", it is said that a porridge and a meal are not easy to think about; half a silk and half a wisp, and the constant thoughts and material resources are difficult. Eliminate waste and extravagance, so as to benefit future generations.
The reason why we can't waste extravagantly, in addition to considering cherishing material resources, is also because extravagant waste is the most ruinous and ruinous.
In the Analects, it is said that luxury is not a grandson . This means that once people become extravagant, they will become arrogant and unhullful, and slowly they will degenerate.
Mr. Zeng Guofan wrote in his family letter: Family failure cannot be separated from a "luxury" word, human defeat cannot be separated from a "yi" word, and annoying people cannot be separated from a "proud" word. The ruin of a family is caused by excessive luxury and insufficient income.
Therefore, no matter how rich a family is, it cannot withstand the ruin of a loser, because he not only has to eat good and wear famous brands; there are many bad habits, like gambling, lust, and the result is to spend thousands of dollars and scatter these family assets.