#Reading # Yan Geling: "The reason why a person is a man is that he has a human nature that is hateful and loved, laughable and compassionate." And the unpredictability and unreliability of human nature, and its endless changes, there is no lack of sin, flesh and lust, which is where the charm lies."
This passage comes from the novel "Fanghua" by writer Yan Geling. I have seen the film of the same name directed by Feng Xiaogang many times, but it was not until I finished reading the original novel that I really understood the spark of humanity expressed by the author.
The novel tells the story of the military cultural and industrial troupe in the 1970s, and the male protagonist Liu Feng is an advanced figure of the "Lei Feng" style, because he mistakenly loves the female solo actor Lin Dingding, resulting in his fate being rewritten and falling from the clouds into the quagmire.
After reading the original work, Liu Feng's tragic fate always haunts his mind, Liu Feng's body has too many shadows of us, the pain of the crush at the beginning of the love sinus, the vanity when longing for the approval of others, the passive abandonment when suffering injustice, and the self-redemption when compromising with fate.
Halfway through life, we want to understand that the original dead and alive love is a neurosis, the original evaluation of others can be ignored whether it is good or bad, the original best way to fight injustice is self-growth, and the most effective doctor is self-reliance. Fortunately, we are still alive after a thousand turns, and Liu Feng in the novel is finally drowned in the mire.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" >, love the wrong person</h1>
Among the many beautiful women, Lin Dingding, the soloist of the literary troupe, is not the most beautiful, but the most scheming. She was able to step on three boats at the same time and toy with three men in the palm of her hand. While accepting Liu Feng's love and eating Liu Feng's elaborate desserts, she flirted with the propaganda officer and doctor, and these three men did not know that Lin Dingding's real goal was to be the daughter-in-law of the chief or the daughter-in-law of the chief.
Liu Feng was a child from a poor background, and with the ability to turn his head and head trained from an early age, he achieved a class leap, entered the literary and labor troupe, and served an iron rice bowl. In that era when formal work was greater than the sky, this organizational system was Liu Feng's lifeblood.
In order to gain a firm foothold and gain the approval of his leaders and colleagues, he desperately expressed himself. Whether good or bad, good or bad, he willingly offered his heart. From repairing the electricity to the water, helping colleagues make sofas, to grabbing torn dumplings in the canteen, and filling holes in the floor of the girls' dormitory, he has become a "living Lei Feng" that everyone can call.
He got the praise of leaders and colleagues as he wished, became an advanced pacesetter, he attached too much importance to his image in the hearts of others, and worked hard to build himself into an "old good man", but he did not know that the kindness of the sharp edge was worthless, and when people enthusiastically praised him, they were darkly expecting him to have an accident and pull him off the altar.
Lin Tintin was the one who pulled him off the altar. Liu Feng confessed to Lin Dingding and hugged her in a panic. Lin Dingding was actually frightened, crying and running back to the dormitory, so that everyone knew that an emotional secret was evolved into a "hooligan" incident, Liu Feng was first planted as a class enemy in a large number of small fights, and then sent down to the grass-roots company.
Lin Dingding can flirt with the propaganda officer and doctor, but thinks that Liu Feng's hug is obscene, which is a strange logic. What is even stranger is that Lin Dingding's roommates Xiao Suizi and Hao Shuwen also have this logic. Although they also hugged Liu Feng and thought that Lin Dingding's overreact had harmed the old and good man, they assumed in their hearts that if they let themselves fall in love with Liu Feng, they would also feel disgusted in their hearts.
The wonderful point of the novel is here, why does everyone think that Liu Feng is a good comrade and an advanced pacesetter who should be studied, but no one is willing to fall in love with him? This is probably a paradox of human nature!
Liu Feng's problem is that he is too good, and the reason why he strives to become a perfect person is half because of his pure nature, and half because he longs to be praised by others. A perfect good man is a man who is detached from the masses, and the more perfect he is, the more curious the masses become, the more they want to tear off his mask.
Liu Feng's criticism will be the darkest moment of his life, and those he has helped have insulted him with the most vicious language. The people who insulted him did not forget Liu Feng's kindness, but seized the opportunity to overthrow him and eliminate their affection for him; anyway, Liu Feng was knocked down, and it was impossible to stand up again.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="68" > second, failed to live up to those who love themselves</h1>
We often tell others, "Find someone you love to fall in love with, find someone who loves you to marry," but it's easier said than done.
Liu Feng knew that he should not fall in love with Lin Dingding, but he was injured all over his body and still could not put it down; He Xiaoman loved Liu Feng wholeheartedly, but he was difficult to find in his life, and in the end the two people did not grow old.
He Xiaoman is the second poor character in the story, and he can't court love all his life. From an early age, he remarried with his mother and lived a third-class life under the fence in his stepfather's house. For a hug from her mother, she did not hesitate to freeze her body and get a high fever in exchange for pity; in order to fight for an equal treatment, she secretly removed her mother's red sweater and dyed it black to wear on herself.
She lives a humble and small life, carefully trying to survive in the cracks, like a small grass, even if it grows in the shadows, it must strive upwards. She could have borrowed her colleague's military uniform to take pictures in the bright light, but she stole Lin Dingding's military uniform to take pictures, and after being discovered, she refused to admit it, so that her colleagues thought that she was of a bad character; when she went to the countryside to perform, she could have taken over the protagonist to complete the task, but she secretly changed the thermometer to pretend to have a fever, and after being set up as a hero with illness, she could not let go of the vanity of becoming the focus center, continued to pretend to be sick for a week, and finally was discovered by the leader and sent down to the health team.
He Xiaoman had long been in love with Liu Feng, but she did not dare to confess. She is a backward element that is excluded by everyone, and Liu Feng, who has a heroic aura on his head, is unattainable. She personally experienced the incident of Liu Feng being "played as a hooligan", saw the tragic appearance of Liu Feng falling on the altar, and heard the slander of Liu Feng by those who had been favored, and she was completely cold to the people around her.
The second half of He Xiaoman's life after leaving the literary troupe was as bumpy as Liu Feng.5 Liu Feng joined the battle, lost an arm, and became disabled. He Xiaoman treats the dying wounded on the front line, and experiences mental and physical suffering every day. Finally one day she was set up as an advanced pacesetter, standing in the center of the stage of her dreams, but she went crazy.
During this period, Liu Feng went to the mental hospital to visit He Xiaoman; after He Xiaoman was cured of mental illness, he also went to liu Feng for the first time, but the two people went around and did not come together.
The main reason is that Liu Feng can't let go of the past. After experiencing the life and death of the battlefield, he had no love for Lin Dingding, more hatred; no courage to love life, more passivity to go with the flow. He preferred to live with an incurable miss of the third company than start a family with He Xiaoman.
Liu Feng, who has done good deeds all his life, did not have good rewards, he had rectal cancer, and only then did he and He Xiaoman come together. Two people live together but do not have the same bed, love evolves into affection, and each other accompanies each other through the best time of life.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="71" > third, release can redeem oneself</h1>
The greatest blessing of Liu Feng's life is to walk peacefully and peacefully when he dies. He was in a coma for two days and left this world in his sleep, and seeing this, my heart was also slightly comforted.
Before Liu Feng fell ill, he did not want to mention Lin Dingding, did not want to see her photos, did not want to meet her, and could not let go of the emotional wounds of that year; after the illness, he took the initiative to ask about Lin Dingding's life, and saw that Lin Dingding, who was thriving in that year, was nourished by a happy life into a middle-aged fat mother, and he also breathed a long sigh of relief.
Before Liu Feng fell ill, unwilling to accept the help of his comrades-in-arms, Hao Shuwen tore up the IOU of 10,000 yuan, but he still stubbornly saved money and paid it off in a few years, maintaining the dignity of a man in a poor life; after illness, he calmly accepted Xiao Suizi's 30,000 yuan funding, and finally gave his comrades a chance to make up for friendship.
Before Liu Feng fell ill, he looked for a wife, and then he thought that he was poor and ran away with others, and then he found a three-year-old lady to live with, and later ran away. He knew that He Xiaoman had a deep affection for himself, but he didn't move his love and just wanted to make up his life; after falling ill, he finally accepted He Xiaoman's love, and in the dying stage of life, He Xiaoman witnessed his decline day by day, exposed his unbearable illness in front of his lover, and ended He Xiaoman's willingness to live with him.
The reason why Liu Feng can walk peacefully is because he has no regrets in his heart. The so-called no regret is not to get what you once wanted, but to let go of your desires and agree with the arrangement and gifts of fate.
This world seems to be bustling, and all kinds of people appear separately, but in essence, we always live in our own small universe, and eventually we have to reconcile with ourselves.