Princesses can wear crowns in castles or hold swords on the battlefield.
Author: Chen Qianduo
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn) original debut
The Winter Olympics are over.
The discussions surrounding the Winter Olympic athletes gradually quieted down from the disturbances.
But I believe that many of these wonderful and moving moments still flash in everyone's mind from time to time.
From them, I could see the sparkle emanating from each of them, which came from the confidence and self-consistency of the depths of their hearts.
And this self-confidence and self-consistency, there is no distinction between men and women.
Take Gu Ailing, who is the most out of the circle of this Winter Olympics, her excellence and her maturity are all declaring a fact - I can be a beautiful princess or a brave knight!
In this generation of children, it is more deeply reflected in: Stop using "girl's appearance" to frame me!
01
Girl = pink
Boy = Blue?
The BBC documentary "Men and Women Are No Longer Different" once did such an interesting experiment.
The researchers exchanged clothes for the boys and girls, and then invited unsuspecting volunteers to play with the children.
All the volunteers naturally picked up robots and Lego for girls dressed in boys' clothes, but chose dolls as toys for boys in girl clothes.
When they learned the truth, the volunteers were shocked and ashamed because they never thought they had stereotypes about men and women, but this "subconscious" was deeply engraved in their minds.
In life, we sometimes inevitably fall into this "gender trap", the same daily necessities, boys choose blue, girls choose pink, if the opposite is not the same.
But the terrible thing about this perception is not that it reduces the child's choices, but that it kills the countless possibilities that the child already exists.
Gina Rippon, a top expert on neuroimaging in the UK, said: "There are indeed nuances in the brain structure of men and women, but the brain is very malleable and it can be reshaped and altered. ”
Most obviously, when children are guided to play with different kinds of games and toys, physiological changes occur in the brain within three months.
That is to say, the emotions of boys who often come into contact with dolls will be more delicate, and girls will be more sensitive to spatial cognition for a long time.
Therefore, the gender difference in the eyes of many people is not the "innate gene" of the child, but the "mindset" of the parents, but it is also the limitation of the parents' thinking that characterizes the child's life early.
"Girls should be quiet, boys are naughty to be normal."
"Girls can only study the liberal arts, boys are good at science."
"Girls are suitable for housework if they are careful, and boys can't do it well." ......
What is more worrying is that this inherent perception directly affects every girl who has not yet formed complete values.
In the documentary, when asked "why do you think boys are smarter than girls," a 7-year-old girl thinks for a moment and then says seriously:
I think men are better at leading other people and therefore smarter than women.
But she is only 7 years old, in the initial stage of life, she should not and cannot just take the road of life narrower.
The world has made various presuppositions and classifications for children based on physiological characteristics – sports belong to men, and housework belongs to women.
But this should not be, gender should not be a classification criterion that limits "possibilities", and people should not have only one.
As Zhang Lanxin once said in "Listen to My Sister", "Don't lower the standard because I am a girl, you can improve this standard."
She once played against a foreign free-form champion, and neither actress wore a protective gear, but had to fight leg-to-leg 47 times. But even so, she still insists that actresses will not be specially cared for in the filming scenes, and they will not be needed!
Who says women are inferior to men! Powerful people, whether male or female, can be domineering and exposed!
Because gender should never be a restrictive criterion in any field, as long as you want, nothing is impossible.
02
Princesses are not all the same
Not every princess can only be a flower in the greenhouse, they can also become a pine that stands tall in the storm.
Gu Ailing redefined the meaning of women.
Not only does she not recognize the "white and thin" that is rampant in public opinion, but even has her own views on the difference between men and women as early as the age of 12.
She once said objectively and excitedly in her speech: It is easier for women and men to enter sports than women in life, only because men have stronger muscles, but this also leads to fewer and fewer opportunities for female athletes.
Knowing that sports are not friendly to women, Gu Ailing wants to challenge all this.
At that time, she was the only girl on the ski team, and she had to face many strange eyes, but she never hesitated because of her gender, nor did she cry tired, but boldly tried the actions that the boys could not complete perfectly.
From the second echelon to the first echelon, and then from ordinary athletes to fight for the country, Gu Ailing not only proved herself, but also proved that girls can also shine in sports.
Not setting limits on herself, and never being afraid to move forward because of gender, this is Gu Ailing's experience, and it is also the belief she wants to pass on to all girls:
You don't need to be perfect, you just need to be brave.
Trusova, an 18-year-old figure skater, is also a practitioner of this sentence.
At the Winter Olympics, she bravely and firmly chose 5 super difficult performances of the four-week jump, you know, the four-way jump has always been regarded as a high-difficulty action of male athletes, and no woman has ever tried it.
Even regardless of the ranking of the competition, the risk factor alone is worth a pinch of sweat for her, but Trusova always insists on completing this set of actions, because she not only wants to challenge herself, but also wants to break down this gender barrier:
"Jumping around is not a patent for boys, girls can, and I'm going to be the first."
Before starting this difficult performance, almost no one was optimistic, and even some netizens laughed at her whimsy.
However, Trusova hit these people in the face with strength, she completed 4 four-way jumps brilliantly, although she stopped the silver medal, she completely broke through herself, and shattered the doubts and prejudices of the outside world for female athletes.
We acknowledge that gender differences do create differences between men and women in many ways, but that does not mean that gender-based prejudices are the truth.
Sportsmanship knows no gender, and doing your best is not exclusive to men.
As the book "Princesses Are Not All The Same", "Not every princess lives in a castle, not every bird sings, not all Supermen can fly, not all samurai have to fight dragons." ”
There are no two identical leaves in the world, so why should we force our children to grow up according to the same template under the control of prejudice?
In fact, the princess can wear a crown in the castle or hold a sword on the battlefield.
As long as she can learn to be strong and brave in her growth, and become friendly and wise as she moves forward, as to where the road will lead, let her decide for herself.
03
Finding love is the meaning
A Winter Olympics will make Gu Ailing a myth in the eyes of parents, but unconsciously, there are more and more excellent "exceptions" around us.
But these girls have one thing in common: they don't go the usual way.
Han Han, a 9-year-old girl in Changsha, Hunan Province, has played basketball for three years and learned more than 40 dribbling methods such as double ball dribbling and rhythm dribbling, and anyone who sees it must say "great".
Usually, in addition to participating in the training of the school basketball team, Han Han's spare time is almost inseparable, but her sweaty face is not a trace of fatigue, but full of vitality and joy.
Although she is still young, She has already participated in 8 major events, and the hormones that burst out of the fierce competition make her like basketball and sports more and more.
Perhaps in the eyes of many people, basketball is more like a boy's sport, but Han Han uses persistence and love to create a bloody connection between girls and basketball.
What is even more admirable is that Han's parents have never felt that basketball should not be a girl's hobby, in their eyes, sports do not distinguish between men and women, as long as there are dreams should be supported.
Just like Xin Ran in Xi'an, Shaanxi, the 10-year-old does not like the pink princess dress, prefers the cool black coat, does not love the feminine dance, but prefers the handsome street dance.
Cutting off her long hair, she quickly became popular on the Internet with a video of her dancing.
Looking at Xin Ran's confident look, who said that "handsome" can only be linked to boys, and girls can also be heroic and grow in their own style.
Today, we see more possibilities for women, and we understand that girls can have more colors driven by love, and they have been breaking the rules.
In the Asian Cup, China's women's football girls did their best to reverse the situation and ignited the audience, and told everyone:
Because of love, it will not be easy to give up, because of love, so never give up.
It is also these girls who firmly choose the "unconventional path" that people slowly discover that girls can also play those projects that are exclusive to boys under the traditional eyes, and also have a wonderful that is not inferior to men.
The world is changing, women are breaking through, they are saving power with love, and they are tearing off those inherent labels with love, and they are bound to win for the future!
04
At the end of "Princesses Are Not All The Same", there is a passage written to the parents:
"This book is meant to help children transcend stereotypical gender roles and expectations, and we don't know what your child is going to become, but anything she can believe and create in her head will be a good start."
Every princess actually has a kingdom that belongs to her, where she can live as she wants.
Even if she can't become the beautiful and kind Snow White in the secular sense, she will find her own growth power.
At that time, her beauty will no longer be limited to appearance, but will be like Dong Qing said: "Women's beauty should refer to women's ability to break through themselves and grow themselves and women's ability to influence and change the world."
Whether it is Gu Ailing or any girl, they are firmly pursuing love on their own path, and they also tell the same belief:
Whoever you are, you can compose the life you want with love in your kingdom.
May all girls, in the face of gender questions, proudly raise their heads – I don't need to compare myself to boys, I just need to be myself because I represent any possibility.
-END-
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn), research on new knowledge of family education for 1-6 years old, is the mother's educational notes, is the father's baby guide, is the child's growth energy station. Please contact the Parents Institute for reproduction. Author: Chen Qianduo.
Editing in this issue: Chestnuts