A water
[Editor's note] According to many friends of folk singer Zhao Already, Zhao Hashi (Boss Zhao) died of illness at the age of 58.
Zhao already
Goodbye Boss Zhao. He has been ill for a long time, and when he opened the farewell session in Shanghai in 2018, he was already a "critically ill patient", but he did not expect to have a tenacious vitality and lasted for another three years.
Zhao is already a drummer, has gone to college, formed a band, walked through the cave, and began to sing on stage during the river bar period. He has not worked a single day in his life, lived on borrowed money for a long time, pursued the "parasite philosophy", and lived on the financial support of his girlfriend and relatives after 2005. This man sang and lost money, and never made money. He was embarrassed to earn money, loved beautiful women and wine, and never betrayed the beautiful dreams of his youth.
In the 1980s, there were still many young people like Zhao. In every age there are such marginalized people, poor and arrogant, the more they think about it, the more painful it is, and the more they desire, the more disappointed they are. They pass by you with the title of stray entertainer and disappear like the death of a cat. One day people will suddenly remember that in the darkness there was a song of sorrow. Then I wondered, did you see the singer's face at that time? Is it pretty or ugly? Did you give him a little money? What song did he sing? Why is it so sad to listen to, and I can't say why?
An old article commemorates the orphanEdo Zhao in the 1980s. The article was written in October 2018 after Zhao was already in Shanghai.
Zhao has written the words to fans before the 2018 performance
The scene | Zhao already: a bodhisattva with a mud shell, a golden body
Sad? Does it sound good?
Five days before the Shanghai performance on October 25, Zhao already asked the organizers how many tickets were sold? "They said it sold more than three hundred, and I said that I would cancel it or postpone it." I am not familiar with Shanghai here, and I am a critically ill patient, and I have to use an oxygen concentrator every day. ”
Five or six hundred people came. In the sweltering field, everyone came down from work to reminisce, listening to Boss Zhao sing a few old songs, and the spirit of remote sacrifice may have won the material eighties. Some people have a drink, no one gets drunk.
At first, Boss Zhao was also uncomfortable. Mentally, he did not live in 1988 and has been abandoned by health. "I go to the doctor now, and experienced Western doctors don't have to do the examination, just give me two choices: either go back or enter the ICU." He had a pulmonary obstruction, was critically ill, and his organs were on the verge of failure.
He began to sing from "Am I your most beloved person", "First sing what you think must be sung, save yourself a while from singing." "The breath is weak, the interest is not high, and the piano is played like a sigh. After singing two songs, he was not yet in the state. "I can't find a happy song to sing, I can't be happy."
Someone in the audience shouted: "Has the boss had a good life in recent years?" ”
"Last year was not good. In fact, it has always been bad, as always bad. Now it is fulfilled, retribution. ”
Many people are sad, thinking that he is just a living tragedy in the play, and the alarm bells are ringing. In front of him was a body hollowed out by smoke and alcohol, a bitter-faced sand monk with a Mediterranean sea above his head, clinging to his ideals and the past. This person can play any drum and sing it into people's hearts when he opens his mouth. Zheng Zheng, a noble northwestern man, refused to learn to earn money to survive.
He had regrets in his heart, even if he finally found Nietzsche as a confidant, he could not make up for the loss of health, the regret for his parents, and the sorrow of not having a place in the world.
Boss Zhao and the wheels of the times coincide, and they are not always in the opposite direction. He had the opportunity to walk on the broad road.
In the 1990s, he left Beijing for a few years, and when he was most beautiful, he made money in minnan and earned more than one million a year. Boss Zhao can earn and spend, wine and meat through the intestines, spending only tens of thousands of pieces will take a year.
Back in Beijing, the boss found that it was not good, the city was completely changed, and the friends who mixed together flew yellow and tengda, "some of them have become emperor superstars." "At that time, I still had some options, I could follow my friends to earn money, but I still solemnly chose the underground."
He panicked and confused, like a man on a leaking boat who threw his weight into the water in despair. What is lost includes modern science, network communications, livelihood skills... But what does he want? In the copy of the live album "Living in 1988", Zhao has already dissected himself, very accurately:
I also know that in the freedom I sought, I was not free once.
So, I finally fell.
So, in the middle of the night, in the bright sunshine of not wanting money, in the smiles or sorrows that only gods or ghosts can see, I remembered the songs that had once been sung.
So today, forced to be helpless, I straightened my mind, changed my identity, did not become a drummer, and slightly reluctantly sat here with some funny feelings, with the beautiful dreams of my youth, ready to sing.
Mixed into today's step of the field, "Yin and yang, all blame me is not, blame society is not." He nagged at this and lit his first cigarette on stage.
Sad? It's very sad. Almost everyone present had a life trivia, only Zhao on the stage was already like a bird without feet, and the frequent entry and exit of the hospital over the years was probably the only way of life he had been on track for many years. Come out of the "underground" and actively survive.
"At that time, I always bragged that I was ready, but I didn't."
Zhao already has a sister, she looks down on him: "When I was in the sixth grade, you were singing these songs, and now I have children, I am in my thirties, you are still singing these songs, are you not ashamed?" "His sister and parents are living an ordinary life, and he and the drummer's brother Zhao Muyang are drifting away from his family. Unfortunately, after the age of forty, the increasingly poor Zhao already needs to rely on the help of family and friends to survive.
Is his song good? It's really good.
Once the boss enters the state, the sadness disappears. Zhao, who had attained his freedom in the song without forgetting himself, was like a bodhisattva with a layer of mud shell, singing and playing, and the mud shell cracked, revealing the golden light of his true body.
He never cared about the academy, the technology, the genre, the origins, as long as it sounded good. Good sound is the flesh of the sharp heart, there is nothing to rely on between heaven and earth, and it is sung all over the world by one breath of true qi.
Zhao has hardly written songs himself. He voluntarily stayed in the eighties, when there was air suitable for him, and good songs were enough to cocoon himself. He used to look down on singing, because he could sing when he opened his mouth, and there was nothing remarkable about it. His dignity and pride are in the identity of the drummer, using his life to play the drum, breaking through and then breaking through, he will not be confined to the drummer's routine.
At halftime, Song Yuzhe came on stage to play for him for a while. He called the boss to go on stage to play drums for a while, and Zhao was already lightly rubbing the drums, like rain falling on the lotus. "Talking Birds" reaches its climax, and Song Yuzhe drinks: "Boss, solo". Without hearing the solo, the drummer position of the dark hole, the time is no longer yo, the time is no longer clattering.
But don't grieve for him. On the stage, Boss Zhao painfully briefed his situation, and then he lit a cigarette without repentance and told a paragraph about smoke. "TCM doesn't recommend me quit smoking. Later I learned of the fact that the members of the expedition to climb Mount Everest in the polar regions, the smokers were alive. Why? The scientific explanation is that smokers need less oxygen. Yes, so TCM is not necessarily lying to me. ”
He squinted his eyes to himself and smiled, thief's. Funny? He has seen the big funny of life, and he is willing to pay for the little self-deception.
Life is full of funny, some people can't see it in their lifetime, and it's good to be a philistine person. People who saw it had to suffer hardships, such as the three on the stage that night, the guests Lu Chen, Song Yuzhe and Zhao Already, each coped in their own way.
Song Yuzhe is just, and his declaration on rock music is like Cui Jian's possession, willing to change society with music, teach people freedom, and "get what they want." Lu Chen was full of doubts and always looked for self-consistency in contradictions.
Zhao already blinked at the funny and cunning, picked up the piano, and finally sang for money. Hopefully this is not a farewell.
Zhao has already been the poster of the 2018 Shanghai special event
Editor-in-Charge: Chen Shihuai
Proofreader: Yan Zhang