Do your #Emotions #Tree Hole. Click above "Follow", your story, you say, I listen
Hetian Feige | Original article
1、
The basis of marriage is love, and a marriage without love is nothing more than a material transaction. However, marriage based on love is also indispensable to material blessings.
Think about it, in a marriage that can't even maintain basic life, what is the use of love alone? I can't even survive, what love do you have in mind?
So, stop asking which is more important in marriage, love or materiality, but what the two people who enter into the marriage really want.
If you want a happy and satisfying life, do both husband and wife have to work hard? This is a common effort, not the effort of one party, the other side to enjoy its success, nor does it require one party to bend down to obey the other party, and it does not need external forces to push.
The efforts of the two sides are based on the consensus of the three views and can be obtained by joint efforts.
It's just that people are becoming more and more realistic now, and when they pay feelings, they need to get each other's returns; when they pay material things, they also hope that both parties will reach a balance. Once this balance is destroyed, it will immediately affect the stability of the relationship. This requires a degree that is acceptable to both sides.
However, marriage is not just a matter for two people, but also a union of two families. However, after the parents of both parties are involved in the marriage, the factor of instability is increasing. If the children are weaker, then the important factor that affects the marriage is the attitude of the parents.
Rao Xiaodi (pseudonym) and his girlfriend had a hard time getting married, and due to the adulteration of the father-in-law, they mixed things like bride price and dowry, and the marriage was almost yellow.
2、
Rao Xiaodi said that he was the child who did not have an umbrella in the heavy rain, and there was no patron in the family and no wealth. Heavy rain is coming, there is no place to shelter from the wind and rain, and you can only run forward by yourself. So after graduating from college, he has been working very hard.
After working in a private company for a few years, he started his own business with the experience he learned on the job and the contacts he had accumulated. Until now, he has been able to earn a steady income of 40,000 or 50,000 a month, and bought a house and a scooter of more than 100,000 yuan on his own in the city where he lives. It should be regarded as a foothold in the city.
But Rao Xiaodi was not satisfied, he felt that as long as he continued to work hard, he would get better and better, never wanted to rely on anyone, and lived a life of unearned gain, especially after meeting a rich girlfriend at home.
Rao Xiaodi and his girlfriend Zhang Suying (pseudonym) met in business, and the two fell in love freely and had a very good relationship.
Zhang Suying has a younger brother, but she does not have the conditions to help her brother demon, because her family is very rich. According to Rao Xiaodi, Zhang Suying's family has seven or eight houses alone, of which six houses are being rented, and the rent is tens of thousands every month. Zhang Suying's father is still in business, and he is definitely a well-off family that is not bad for money.
The Zhang family is very satisfied with Rao Xiaodi and does not criticize his rural background, because Rao Xiaodi is down-to-earth, hardworking, and willing to make progress, and these qualities Zhang Suying's father values very much. However, when talking about marriage, Zhang Suying's father gave Rao Xiaodi a problem.
3、
Zhang Suying's father told Rao Xiaodi that his family would marry his daughter for 1 million yuan, plus a luxury car worth 500,000 yuan.
This condition sounds quite tempting at first glance, and outsiders are envious of Rao Xiaodi's earnings. But to achieve this, the father-in-law put forward a condition, that is, Rao Xiaodi must first give a dowry of 880,000.
Rao Xiao's head was big at the first hearing, how could there be such a high amount of dowry? He just bought a house, where does this make him go to get the 880,000 dowry money?
Rao Xiaodi complained to Zhang Suying: "Your father is so cruel, as soon as he wants to be cruel." ”
Zhang Suying asked Rao Xiaodi not to worry, his father wanted an 880,000 dowry in fact to face, because the daughter of his friend and colleague got married, and the dowry was very rich, and 880,000 was the lowest of them. And the 880,000 dowry money must be repaid, that is, to go through a formality, to make parents happy, so that parents have a face in front of relatives and friends.
Rao Xiaodi didn't think so:
On the surface, the girlfriend married 1 million and a car. But in fact, as long as you give the 880,000 to your father-in-law, it becomes your father-in-law's money. The father-in-law added 120,000 yuan and returned it, which became the wife's premarital property, and it had nothing to do with his rao of the first half of the cent.
And then there's the luxury car. Nominally, he married his son-in-law to a luxury car of 500,000 yuan, but the ownership of the car must be his wife Zhang Suying's, which is also her premarital property. If the wife is angry one day, she has the right to get herself out of the car, not to mention in case of divorce, then there is nothing to be gained, and she will not suffer a big loss.
So Rao Xiaodi consulted with Zhang Suying: Can you not give so much dowry, he is willing to add Zhang Suying's name to his house.
Zhang Suying said that her family had so many houses, and she did not want his house. Besides, Rao Xiaodi's house is still repaying the loan, which is not a property, but a burden.
Since Zhang Suying proposed the 880,000 dowry money, Rao Xiaodi's mind has been spinning.
Don't say that you don't have this 880,000 now, even if you borrow 880,000, this money will lie in your wife's card and become your wife's premarital property. That luxury car was my wife's name. This becomes that the 1 million dowry and the 50 Marriott car are still the money of the father-in-law's family, which is the wife's premarital property, and his house has become the joint property of the husband and wife.
I think about it, my father-in-law's family took advantage of it and suffered a big loss. Rao Xiaodi was depressed and died.
4、
In the end, Rao Xiaodi came up with a trick.
Since my father-in-law wants face, it is not easy to go through the motions. Anyway, the father-in-law has money, let the father-in-law give himself 880,000 first. Then, at the engagement ceremony, in front of many relatives and friends, he sent the 880,000 novices to his father-in-law's hands, and said that the bride price did not need to be returned, even if it was his son-in-law's filial piety to the second elder, it was to give them the guarantee of old age.
In this way, the father-in-law has face, and he is not so embarrassed. Isn't that the best of both worlds?
As a result, the father-in-law said that he was not sincere about the marriage, and the bride price was actually borrowed from the woman's family.
Rao Xiaodi couldn't understand it, since he said that he didn't want his money, just for face. But why didn't my father-in-law agree?
Rao Xiaodi could only sigh, can this marriage still be married? Obviously, he has a good relationship with his girlfriend, but he is going to be disturbed by his father-in-law.
When Rao Xiaodi was in a dilemma, Zhang Suying secretly transferred the savings of 400,000 yuan that she had saved for nearly 8 years to Rao Xiaodi, asking him to find a way to make up 880,000 yuan to go to the form that her father-in-law wanted.
Seeing his girlfriend's sincerity, Rao Xiaodi's face turned red as soon as he brushed the ground. He was touched by his girlfriend's behavior and was ashamed of his tangled problems.
At this time, Rao Xiaodi understood that in fact, in his game with his father-in-law, his girlfriend was the most sad, on the one hand, her biological parents, on the other hand, she liked people, which side could not be abandoned. The girlfriend can make such a decision, and also let Rao Xiaodi see her sincerity.
The final outcome, of course, is a joy for everyone.
5、
Rao Xiaodi's marriage, because of the intervention of his parents-in-law, became a little tricky, but fortunately the ending was not bad.
Because the ending is good, there will definitely be people who think that Rao Xiaodi is too calculating, but before the ending, who can predict the development of things?
880,000 is not a small number, and it is indeed a heavy pressure for a young person who is starting a business and has just bought a house.
And the father-in-law just wanted a face, so he stirred up the marriage almost yellow, which is really something that should not be done.
Parents care about their children's marriage, which is a common sentiment, but after understanding each other's situation, they must rest assured that the children will handle their own marriage, after all, they are the ones who want to live together for a lifetime.
There is love but lack of material, as long as the character is good, self-motivated, poor does not matter, life is created by people with their hands; there is no love in material alone, it is also a pursuit, as long as they endure a marriage without warmth.
Marriages without materials lack security, and marriages that rely only on materials have no warmth. Therefore, what young people have to solve is the problem of what they want most in marriage.
The personalization of marriage is here, material and love are important, and they are not important, depending on how you choose.
Figure | network, if invaded, it must be deleted
END
Today's Interactive Topics:
Do you think Rao Xiaodi's concerns are right? Will it affect the feelings of two people?
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