Text / Wake up
Editor / Little Love Letter
"Lai Hongguo will change, I believe he will change."
This is what Ah Jiao said when she mentioned her husband Lai Hongguo.
The two were introduced by friends and quickly fell in love, and when they first met, Lai Honghui gave everything he had, and even borrowed money to pursue Gillian.
Will take parents to see Gillian concerts, will overcome the fear of heights in order to accompany Gillian skydiving.
But it is such a person who was full of aunts before marriage, but after marriage, he has changed completely.
After marriage, Gillian's tolerance and accommodation could not be exchanged for his changes.
When you love the person in your memory more than the person in front of you, it is time to leave, and the happiness passes by again.
Why did Ah Jiao say that the most reluctant thing about this marriage was not her ex-husband Lai Hongguo, but her former in-laws?
01
Ah Jiao first met Lai Hongguo at a blind date party, when she was working in Taipei, and her friends invited her to go to hot pot with her and said that they wanted to introduce her to a boyfriend.
Gillian thought that it was better to be respectful than to obey fate, and it was not good to be a boyfriend as if she knew a new friend, so she agreed.
However, it was this party that changed Gillian's wandering life ever since.
Lai Hongguo is a doctor, and Xin is a good friend, Xin looks at him with talent, and is gentle and careful, so he wants to introduce him to Ah Jiao and try to match two good friends.
When Jiao first saw Lai Hongguo, she felt that this boy was still very good, clean, and spoke Sven, and the first impression that Lai Hongguo left on Ah Jiao was still good.
The atmosphere between the two was very harmonious throughout the meal, and after the meal, the two naturally exchanged contact information.
At this time, Ah Jiao still had a good feeling for Lai Hongguo, so when Lai Hongguo pursued her later, she did not feel disgusted, and she was also doing her best to give the other party a certain response.
At that time, Lai Hongguo had made a blood cost in order to catch up with Ah Jiao, and his own salary was not very high, and Ah Jiao had been in the industry for more than ten years at that time.
Both the insight and the assets are several times more than Lai Hongguo.
So Lai Hongguo can get on the table in order to give gifts, in order to pay for the cost of the date.
In order to hold the beauty back, he also made a bloody payment, and once borrowed money to pursue Gillian.
Of course, these girls don't know, she just thinks that this man is very good to herself, very generous, and very careful with herself.
Sometimes when he accidentally bumped into her, Lai Hongguo would be very distressed to come to her and comfort her, and coax her as a child.
In the long run, Ah Jiao agreed to Lai Hongguo's pursuit, and the two upgraded from a friendly relationship to a couple.
After that, the two also talked about a sweet love, for Ajiao to fall in love that time is her happiest and happiest day, Lai Hongguo's gentleness and carefulness make her more and more deeply immersed in it, unable to extricate herself.
It's just that even if she loves Lai Hongguo again, Ah Jiao has never thought of getting married, she has suffered too much emotional hurt, and she has seen too many points and combinations.
Even his good sister Asa has not been able to get happiness, and she is even more uncertain about marriage.
But who knew that the later Ajiao would actually choose to marry Lai Hongguo's parents, and all this stemmed from her childhood experience.
When She was a child, her family was not well-off, her father died very early, and her mother had to put her in foster care at a relative's house because she needed to go out to work.
Life under the fence is not good, you will be beaten by your elders, you will be bullied by your cousin, and your life is very miserable.
It is precisely because of this experience that she is particularly eager to have a happy and loving family, which is precisely the family atmosphere of Lai Hongguo.
Ah Jiao was stunned to see Lai Hongguo's parents for the first time, Lai Hongguo's parents are doctors, are high-achieving students, very gentle and kind, and they and Lai Hongguo are also full of love.
Therefore, Gillian has a yearning for having such a family atmosphere.
It also made her start to think that maybe marrying Lai Hongguo was a good choice.
But as a girl, it is always not good to open your own marriage proposal, plus Ah Jiao really does not know how to open this mouth.
Until a time when Lai Hongguo accompanied her to complete the skydive in the life list, Ah Jiao finally found the opportunity to propose marriage.
At that time, she was going to jump from a distance of four thousand feet, and her heart was very afraid, but in fact, Lai Hongguo was afraid of heights, but she still plucked up the courage to dance with Ah Jiao.
This made Ah Jiao very moved, and in her heart she felt more and more that Lai Hongguo was a trustworthy person, so after the end of the skydive, Ah Jiao said to Lai Hongguo:
"Let's get married."
Lai Hongguo immediately agreed with great joy and tears, so the two reached a marriage consensus, and after returning to China, Lai Hongguo also made up a romantic marriage proposal ceremony for Ah Jiao:
"You're the most beautiful, kind, bravest, and most interesting person I've ever met, and I hope I'll be there for the rest of my life."
In 2018, the two held a romantic wedding, at which Lai Hongguo swore an oath to Ajiao affectionately, and Ajiao was touched and hugged Lai Hongguo tightly.
After so many ups and downs, Ah Jiao really thought that Lai Hongguo could become her own safe haven.
But reality gave her a heavy slap.
Happiness and dependence cannot be given by others after all, and it is most secure to give yourself.
02
As the saying goes, "Marriage is the graveyard of love", this sentence is not without reason.
It's just that most people are blinded by the love period and the honeymoon period, and they can't see the gap between each other, can't see each other's shortcomings, and can't see each other's three views full of incompatibility.
However, After her marriage, She did have a very happy married life, and her in-laws were very kind to her, and her father-in-law said when she married:
"Your marriage not only gives our family one more daughter-in-law, but also gives us one more daughter and makes our family happier."
The mother-in-law also loves Ah Jiao as a daughter-in-law, and she will go to see Ah Jiao's concert with Lai Hongguo, and after watching it, she said excitedly:
"Our daughter-in-law turned out to be so good, so powerful!"
Although they can't live together usually, they will also be in contact with Ah Jiao often, and sometimes Lai Hongguo deliberately moves his mother out to fool Ah Jiao, and Ah Jiao will immediately call to complain.
The mother-in-law is also on her side, giving her the confidence to be willful.
It is said that if there is a harmonious mother-in-law relationship in the marriage, then the marriage will be less than 90% less trouble.
But even if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious, there will still be various problems in marriage.
Just like the marriage of Ah Jiao and Lai Hongguo, with the passage of time, their contradictions and problems have become more and more numerous.
First of all, the concept of consumption, after marriage, Ah Jiao knew that Lai Hongguo borrowed money to pursue her, but she did not care too much, after all, it was all a matter of the past, and now there was no way to say anything.
But she did not expect that she and Lai Hong would have a conflict over consumption and money.
Gillian feels that she works so hard in order to consume well, and often buys some more expensive bags to encourage and treat herself.
But every time she buys her favorite bag, or even helps Lai Hongguo buy clothes, she obviously spends the money she earns, and she also depends on Lai Hongguo's eyes.
After a long time, Ah Jiao naturally couldn't stand the feeling of complaints in her heart, and over time the two began to quarrel endlessly.
In fact, Jiao Jiao is not very fond of quarrelling, talking has always been gentle and gentle, plus Mandarin is not very good, so quarrelsome will not bother to explain.
Lai Hongguo saw that Ah Jiao did not speak and thought that she was cold and violent, so he lost his temper and ignored Ah Jiao.
The result of the quarrel between the two is generally that Ah Jiao can't help but compromise, first concede defeat to coax Lai Hongguo, and then try to change her consumption habits.
Every time I buy something, I think about Lai Hongguo's feelings.
But can such compromise and forbearance really maintain the longevity of the marriage?
03
Choosing to compromise and tolerate did not let Lai Hongguo know how to cherish Ah Jiao, but it can be said that it has become more intense, pampered and spoiled, and Ah Jiao said to Lai Hongguo very directly in front of the camera:
"It's not easy for me to get to this point as an actor, so can you lose your temper with me a little less?"
Lai Hongguo over there just smiled and said when he heard Ah Jiao say this:
"I've lost a lot less tantrum."
What Lai Hongguo didn't know was that every quarrel, every tantrum would make Jiaojiao feel that he was very macho, that he was unreasonable, and that he was challenging his own bottom line.
It is said that a woman's bottom line is a mystery, sometimes a big thing like cheating and splitting legs is the bottom line for women, and sometimes only need a detail or a look from the other party is the bottom line.
Ah Jiao later said such a thing when talking about the bottom line, once she asked Lai Hongguo to give her a towel, and Lai Hongguo rudely threw it in her face and smashed her eyes.
She told Lai Hongguo that he had caught his eyes, and she also said that she didn't like his attitude, but Lai Hongguo didn't think he heard.
In other words, before, Lai Hong immediately ran over to help her see, blew her, and gave her care and care.
Many people may say that this is just a small thing, which cannot explain anything, but all the disappointments are accumulated little by little, even if it is a small thing.
If you know that the other party does not like this, you still have to do it, which can only mean that you don't care about her, you don't know how to cherish her.
Just like Lai Hongguo did to Ah Jiao, he finally crossed the bottom line in Ah Jiao's heart.
Obviously, for Ah Jiao, her bottom line has been lowered to the point where she can no longer lower, and she can no longer compromise, but Lai Hongguo has become more and more intense, and finally cooled the heart of her lover.
As alice, the heroine of the movie "Stealing Hearts", said:
"Love can be seen, it can be felt, it can be seen and touched, and the same is true of not loving."
Therefore, the former Lai Hongguo made Ah Jiao's hard work and unforgettable, and she really got a full score in Ah Jiao's heart.
Later, after marriage, Lai Hongguo deducted one point every time he disappointed her, until it was cleared, and it was time to separate.
The last quarrel, perhaps just a small matter, became the fuse for the breakdown of their relationship, and also made Ah Jiao determined to leave Lai Hongguo completely.
But at that time, Lai Hongguo may still feel that Ah Jiao was making a big fuss, until he saw the divorce agreement that Ah Jiao mailed to him, he really realized the seriousness of the problem.
It's just that he always thinks that Gillian chose to leave because of the last little thing, and he never knows how many times Gillian has forgiven him in her heart.
In 2020, Ajiao and Lai Hongguo signed a divorce agreement, ending their marriage of less than three years.
04
After the divorce, Gillian suddenly gained twenty pounds, and many people thought that she had gained so much weight because of the pressure of divorce, and later learned that Gillian had gained weight because of the needs of work.
In front of the camera, Gillian still looks gentle and beautiful, and when asked about divorce and love, she seems to have walked out of that experience:
"I don't have the idea of getting married now, but take your time, or yearn for a beautiful love and a happy marriage." 」
Only recently Lai Hongguo announced that he was going to be a father, less than a year after the two divorced, and this incident once again sent Ah Jiao to the cusp of the storm.
At that time, many people said that if the two of them had children, they might not end so early, but with children, would the ending change?
Gillian actually wanted to have a child, but fate dictated that she was not pregnant at the time.
But even if you have a child, what will happen, the contradiction between the two will not disappear, but will increase with the passage of time, and separation is only a matter of time.
There is a line in "Forgive Him Seventy-Seven Times":
"I think the endurance of a normal person can forgive the person who hurt her 77 times, and every relationship that has to end is a heart-wrenching choice."
After 77 times, even if you work hard, you will choose to let go and give up, so the biggest gain of this marriage for Ah Jiao is not the relationship with Lai Hongguo, but the encounter with a very good in-laws.
To say that if in this marriage with Lai Hongguo, the most reluctant thing she is her in-laws is.
Because in Ah Jiao's life experience, she has never felt the warmth of home, but Lai Hongguo's parents let her experience the feeling of being loved by her relatives for the first time.
Like a child without an umbrella, Ah Jiao struggled to run to the end, and when she saw Lai Hongguo, who held her umbrella, she thought she could finally rest.
But what she didn't expect was that in the end, it became that she was holding an umbrella for Lai Hongguo, and she still had to rely on herself to have a sense of security.
However, with the passage of time, Lai Hongguo also had his own happiness, and Ah Jiao also returned to a peaceful life.
Now there is no point in talking about right and wrong.
Before the light shines, we all have to learn to forgive the embarrassment and difficulty of the present, accept a person's loneliness and accidental helplessness, and conscientiously do everything in front of us, you will have what you want.
The rain doesn't fall all the time, which means that we'll all wait until a warm midsummer and a sincere person, and Zhuo Zhuo is for me.
To Gillian, to every reader.