*This graphic is written in the tone of adam, the protagonist of the series,
There may be depictions that make you feel uncomfortable,
Please read as appropriate.
Hello everyone, I'm the acting attending physician with a scalpel in overalls, Adam.
As you can see, I am a British obstetrician with an unknown liquid in my crotch.
These bodily fluids have nothing to do with my nationality, and its owner is obviously not me, but a pregnant woman with a prolapsed umbilical cord that I have encountered on my way to work.
When her umbilical cord is detached from her body, causing a loss of temperature, the fetus will die of ischemia.
So I held the umbilical cord and, in a very indecent position, was pushed into the operating room with her.
* Too late to explain, get in the car
I was also forced to perform surgery in civilian clothes – which means I will be running home naked today.
Well...... This time the blood was soaked deeper than any other time, and the little brother was stained red.
I could have contracted HIV because of it, and no one would believe that I got it that way.
Just like those patients who insert a foreign body into the lower body, they always use the excuse of "accidentally slipping", even if the foreign body has a condom on it.
And that's just the day-to-day work of us.
Incidentally, we call this phenomenon "Eiffel Tower syndrome."
Working in obstetrics, you'll see all sorts of weird cases and patients.
For example, the patients with the "Eiffel Tower syndrome" just mentioned:
Some of them are to satisfy special fetishes, and although human sexual fetishes are free, I recommend that they see a psychiatrist;
Others are pragmatic. For example, this lady, in order to cope with the probation officer who gave her a urine test, hid a test tube in her lower body, which was full of other people's urine;
And the kind of people I hate the most, purely to satisfy the damn sense of ritual.
I found an "Easter egg" in a woman's body, and just as I was about to dispose of it, the lady asked me to give the egg to her husband—inside was a ring.
Is this a marriage proposal that carbon-based organisms can come up with?
I can only respect the blessings and sincerely wish this elder brother a happy life after marriage.
Compared to the various bizarre medical incidents I have encountered, these can only be regarded as ordinary.
What are doctors most afraid of encountering during a caesarean section?
A. Newborns give you the middle finger
B. The skin color of newborns is different from that of their parents
C. Obtuse angle
Please answer.
The answer is D. Medical appliances are missing.
After a caesarean section, we counted and found a piece of gauze missing.
Searching fruitlessly, the answer is about to come out:
Just as I was about to open the mother's newly stitched belly, a nurse came back with the newborn baby—
The vanished piece of gauze was being held in the hands of the child.
In general, only women who have a caesarean section can enjoy the treatment of giving birth on the operating table, and most of the women who give birth naturally can only give birth naturally in the ward.
Seriously, having a pastor does a lot more than asking a doctor.
However, there are also women who have a normal birth and voluntarily request to give birth underwater.
Not to speed up labor, or to reduce the rate of caesarean section, just to eat your own placenta...
Unfortunately, she finally ate the skewers, and before I could take the placenta out, she couldn't wait to show off all the blood clots in her pelvis back into her stomach.
On the same day that I needed to accompany senior government officials on patrols, I harvested a shirt stained with bodily fluids.
What a bonus.
Speaking of her, I think of Mrs. Wen, an old woman with a poisonous tongue who has vulvar cancer.
When she appears in front of you, you can't help but shout "Call for guard!" ”
Vulvar cancer caused Mrs. Wen's uterus to prolapse and I had to insert the ring uterus into her vagina so that the internal organs could... belch...... Stayed inside too.
The history of uterine care is almost as long as pelvic organ prolapse, probably beginning shortly after the first woman in the world gave birth to her first child.
It's hard to imagine that the most popular uterine tray in history was once potatoes — people stuffed cut potatoes into it and everything was in place.
The terrible thing is that the warm and humid environment in the human body is the most suitable for the growth and germination of rhizome vegetables, so once the girls feel that something is about to puncture the underwear, they must quickly trim the green buds of potatoes.
Pull away, back to Mrs. Wen.
She was a very strong old lady who successfully offended everyone in the hospital before she died, and even when she died, she did not drag the mud and water.
I had a good conversation with her the day before, and the next day the person suddenly disappeared.
Mrs. Wen signed the "Letter of Unwillingness not to rescue" before she died, and I could only wait for her to gradually cool down and close her eyes.
And I shouldn't even attend her funeral because there needs to be a sense of "boundaries" between doctors and patients.
The world is uncertain, you can't let yourself sink into emotions, otherwise you will collapse sooner or later.
I am a living example: I once misdiagnosed a pregnant woman with preeclampsia, which resulted in the premature birth of the fetus.
*Pre-eclampsia: refers to about 24 weeks of pregnancy, on the basis of hypertension, proteinuria, headache, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, epigastric discomfort and other symptoms.
Although the fetus eventually survived and I was complained about, it became my heart disease.
Open the refrigerator and inside is a bloody premature baby. Even though I'm an obstetrician, dead babies shouldn't be next to lemons either;
In order to make up for my mistakes, I knit socks for premature babies, but the picture of surgery kept coming to mind;
In the mirror of the elevator, the reflection is not the tired face of my 48-hour eye, but the helpless and desperate face of my mother who holds a dead baby;
Even when I am not ashamed of my lover, I will think of that unpleasant memory...
So much so that for a long time afterwards, I became overcorrected — even if a patient had a pimple on his ass, I had to push him out of the ICU.
Compared to my overly "colorful" observations, my life is full of suffering.
Working an average of 97 hours a week, waking up in the car, asleep or in the car.
Doing a high-load job that was almost suspected of cheating, my salary was pitifully low, and I was insulated from buying a house in my life.
The variety of bodily fluids erupting like a tsunami made me change my underwear more often than a child's diapers – which made my already stretched financial situation even worse.
The fact that doctor-patient relations in the UK is so strained is all due to the NHS (the UK's public healthcare system).
It is said that all those who have dealt with the NHS around me have one or two horror stories to tell:
Founded in 1948, the UK National Health Service remains the fairest healthcare system in the world.
It has been adhering to three principles:
Meet the needs of all citizens;
Provide free medical services;
Treatment is given according to clinical need rather than affordability.
With the increase in population and the "bad" habit of people seeking medical treatment, the medical services that the Uk government can provide are far from keeping up with demand.
The NHS is so understaffed and underfunded that all practitioners have to rely on their personal perseverance and conscience to sustain the system.
I have no doubt that words will appear in my journal – today I'm going to visit an antenatal clinic in Iceland.
In 2015, the UK Health Minister also enforced the New Employment Contract for Junior Doctors.
This means that doctors like me have to work longer hours and don't have any allowances or subsidies.
As for promotions, the titles of British doctors are divided into 4 levels:
Junior titles: Includes intern and resident. Interns have low incomes and have to do everything; residents' incomes are not high enough to be rotated;
The resident and attending doctor on night duty are taking new patients in the emergency room downstairs, while you are alone in the upstairs ward...
It's like paddling a giant ship alone, the boat is still on fire, and no one really taught you how to row.
Intermediate title: that is, the attending doctor, the most senior doctor on duty, most of the time to fight alone in the middle of the night;
Deputy Senior Title: As the name suggests, it is the deputy chief doctor, whose medical skills determine whether the mother and child can leave the operating table alive;
Senior title: the apex of the doctor - the chief doctor, they are no longer traditional craftsmen, high income, short working hours, and a lot of administrative work.
Want to see a chief doctor? Then you have to make an appointment long in advance.
And I happened to be stuck in the first level in the play, and in the original work, I stopped in front of the chief doctor.
Please help me urge British Prime Minister Johnson to have the spare time to talk to people on Weibo, so it is better to study and study medical reform.
At least fix that damn emergency siren at our hospital!
That thing is not in good contact, on average every 3 minutes, we are used to waiting for a few seconds, if it does not stop and then pass, save a trip in vain.
Only when officials come to inspect will they rush to repair a wave:
Patching together the east and the west, trying to beautify it, demolishing the east wall to make up for the west wall.
I have only a few private lives left, and like this hospital, I am broken and not idealistic.
Oh yes, forgot to tell you, I'm gay.
I lived with my lover Harry for 2 years, but I had to pretend to be a straight man in front of my friends and family.
It wasn't until recently that I announced my coming out to my mother, and what I got was not understanding and support, but questioning.
Harry also rejected my marriage proposal...
Fortunately, a few days later he agreed again.
The first time we went out for the weekend, I threw a penny into the machine.
He smuggled it away and made it into a ring.
If nothing else, I'll show you what I want.
Unfortunately, the author of the original Chinese translation deliberately downplayed my homosexual identity for some purpose.
This behavior doesn't make sense, as I do.
Sometimes, everything we do doesn't make any sense.
This sentence reminds me of the intern physician Shuti.
To this day, domestic violence in the UK is still one of the causes of simultaneous maternal and fetal deaths during pregnancy.
Controlling husbands usually accompany their wives to see a doctor, which makes them angry and afraid to speak.
The hospital has established a special response to this, and every women's restroom has this notice:
"If you have been subjected to domestic violence, stick the red sticker on the door to the case cover."
Shuti once relied on red stickers to protect a pregnant woman who had been subjected to domestic violence, but instead of leaving her husband, she defended his domestic violence.
Maybe it's a manifestation of Stockholm syndrome, or maybe it's a number of considerations, but for us, it means one thing:
"Not worth it"
This may also be one of the reasons why Shuti finally chose to commit suicide...
From the patient's point of view, the doctor I also hope to treat me is a sophisticated machine of Morde's feelings.
However, in fact, doctors are also human beings, with seven passions and six desires, life and death fatigue.
Although we have a stethoscope around our necks and always like to talk about life and death as a joke, we are still small children.
It's just that when I graduated from high school, I arbitrarily ticked the word "medicine" next to the college application form.
Every doctor makes a career choice at the age of 16, and it's two years before they officially get the legal right to send a photo of themselves to a friend.
Your experience in the hospital can be painful, but for us, the pain only multiplies.
Doctors hold the power of life and death for mothers and babies, and they must have a fat heart and a dilated aorta to continuously pump out overflowing compassion and kindness to the world.
*The "hypertrophy" of the heart here does not refer to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and I believe you all know what I mean (maybe).
As one of the chief doctors said:
When you retire, the dead babies you handle can fill a truckload, and if you can't accept it, don't do it sooner rather than later.
When the pride after saving lives for the first time was slowly diluted by the heavy medical work, all that was left was numbness.
When the system is sound, the rights and interests of doctors are protected, and doctors and patients understand and understand each other.
Perhaps the doctor-patient relationship can really be eased.
It may also not ease up, casually.
Finally, two more pieces of advice:
First, if you don't want children, you must use condoms, otherwise you may not be able to use them in this life.
Having a baby will tear your private parts to shreds, and it's inevitable.
Condom manufacturers should take lessons from tobacconists and print their postpartum private parts on the packaging box so that no one risks pregnancy for unsafe sex.
Second, if you can go to a public hospital, don't go to a private one.
Private hospitals have first-class equipment, but they are all uninformed doctors, who are loose and ill-prepared.
A private hospital is more of a resort than a hospital!
Do you dare to believe that the entire hospital has only two packs of type O blood?
If you must leverage, it is recommended to enter the name of your favorite private hospital in Google, and then add "out-of-court settlement" to see how many unfortunate precedents there are.
If you're interested in the story of "me," check out the BBC's Inevitable Pain.
On the day of the start of the broadcast, it got a high score of 9.4 against the sky.
That's it for today.
Bye bye!
The picture in this article comes from the network
EDIT: Vigorously