If I hadn't seen the light, I could have endured the darkness.
This sentence Emily. Dickinson's words written in the book perfectly interpret the life of Hong Kong star Pauline Chan.
On July 31, 2002, a twenty-nine-year-old woman abandoned her son, who was not yet a month old.
Jumping from the roof of a building on Nanyang Road in Hong Kong, he ended his miserable life.
At Chen Baolian's funeral, Chen's mother cried and cried, but was called the tears of crocodiles.
And the boyfriend Huang Renzhong, who could not be forgotten in the suicide note, also died two years later, and now only the infant child remains.
Who his biological father really was became a mystery.
It all started from the moment When Chen Baolian was 12 years old and saw her mother.
When she was a child, her parents divorced, and the husband and wife felt that their daughter was a drag, and neither of them was willing to raise her.
Abandoned, Chen Baolian had to follow her grandmother through her happiest twelve years.
Until her mother appeared in front of her, she thought she could finally have a home, and she was excited about it.
But the woman in front of her was thinking about how to pull her into the abyss.
When she was fourteen years old, Chen Baolian became more and more beautiful, quite a taste of the first growth of a girl in the neighborhood.
All this was seen by the mother, and thinking that she was about to pay off the gambling debt, she extended her claws to her daughter.
When she was sold to the modeling agency by her mother, Chen Baolian was still very happy, thinking that she could finally help her mother.
Although she did not know why she was asked to wear nude clothes when shooting,
But my heart was still happy for the return of my mother.
The girl's naïve and unworldly gaze also satisfies some people,
Stacks of photographs were sold to a variety of people with fetishes.
And Mother Chen is excitedly wandering around the casino with her salary, trying to get rich overnight when she throws chips the next time.
Chen Baolian trusts her mother, she may not have too high culture, and she does not know what she has experienced.
The rewards became tools in her mother's casino, and she herself stood obediently in front of the camera.
But people's desires are bottomless, and if there are many, they still want more,
The remuneration for filming began to be insufficient for Mother Chen to squander.
At this time, there are a lot of rich people in the entertainment industry scrambling to choose targets in Hong Kong sisters.
As if opening the door to a new world, Mother Chen held out her hand to her daughter again.
That year's Hong Kong sister was like a fairy fighting, Chen Baolian was beautiful,
However, due to the long-term face of the camera has been posed with various postures and expressions, the face has long lost its simple temperament,
On the contrary, it was full of red dust, so she naturally lost the competition.
Although she did not wait for the favor of the rich, which made Mother Chen slightly disappointed, the invitation of the film producer did not let them go.
At that time, Hong Kong's restricted films were almost legalized, and many actresses who are now famous became famous during that period.
Either cheated or volunteered, but like Chen Baolian, who was forcibly pulled by her mother to sign a contract, it may be the first.
Chen Baolian, who was 17 years old and underage, went to make this kind of movie, which was obviously illegal.
However, the other party saw that his mother had signed on his behalf, and naturally agreed under the influence of interests.
The underage Chen Baolian finally understood her situation in the face of the men's outstretched hands.
She struggled, cried, begged others to let her go.
She didn't want to make such a movie, but her mother's indifferent eyes on the side were like a basin of cold water poured on her head.
Put out all the illusions of these years.
Almost all the money exchanged for one film after another fell into the hands of Mother Chen.
Chen Baolian began to become numb, experienced more, and seemed to feel that it was just that.
After all, it is by relying on these films that I hate to successfully get out of the circle,
Although the name of the star is not good, it always gives himself the opportunity to succeed.
Shu Qi once faced the fact that he had made a restricted film in the past, and loudly swore an oath.
I have to put back the clothes I took off, one by one,
She did it, and Chen Baolian wanted to do it.
Relying on this pursuit, she waited bitterly, and finally ushered in the opportunity to cooperate with Zhou Xingchi to star in "Domestic Lingling Paint".
In the play, her performance is remarkable and quite popular with the audience.
If you use this film as a springboard, the success of the transformation may not be a problem.
However, there was an unexpected wind and rain in the day, and not long after the shooting, Chen Baolian fell ill, and even stayed in the hospital for half a year.
Mother Chen couldn't reluctantly push the drama behind her.
An illness that made her return to the pre-liberation period not only missed the opportunity to transform, but the nightmare aura of the star still hung on her head.
After a long time, it may not be so difficult to walk in the dark, until she meets Huang Renzhong,
Illuminated in the darkness all her emotions.
Because of the experience of filming, Chen Baolian is very repulsive to men, but Huang Renzhong's pursuit has made her gradually let go of her defenses.
The mansion and luxury car did not pay attention to her eyes, and she was touched by a promise from the other party.
"I can get you out of the past and become a real actor."
As a famous super-rich man in Hong Kong, Wong Yan Chung is well-known in the wealth rankings.
He is best known for admitting in front of reporters that he can't live without beautiful women.
In his villa, there is a large bed that can lie down for ten people, and there are countless actresses who are related to him.
Xu is because he is the only man who gives Chen Baolian care, and even divorced his fourth wife in order to show his truth.
Let Chen Baolian selectively forget the other party's past and concentrate on indulging in the gentle countryside.
But who Huang Renzhong was, it didn't take long for him to become less interested in her,
Watching a boyfriend who is more than twice his own age start to spend the night out blatantly,
Chen Baolian's mentality began to change, the beauty of this time was like a dream, and she would never allow others to destroy it.
She began to become hoarse and beat her lovers, and Huang Renzhong sent her to Japan to play in order to make her quiet.
She spent a month playing with wine and came back,
When he was thrown out again, he was refused entry by Japanese customs because he was pregnant with sleep medicine.
Yes, she began to die, cutting her wrists at premieres, getting stitched in fights at bars, and trying to end herself at the villa door.
Some people say that she did all this just to attract Huang Renzhong's attention.
Some people also say that she raised a little ghost at home, and now she has been regurgitated by the great change of personality.
All the farce failed to return the desired result, and Chen Baolian began to muddle,
After being abandoned, he seemed to find several boyfriends like revenge, but he could never return to that beautiful dream.
If she was pulled into the abyss by her mother,
That Huang Renzhong took her to heaven, and then fell down fiercely, deeper than the abyss.
In July 2002, she was tired,
Holding the baby under the age of one month, he took the first and only photo between mother and son, and then jumped from the Nanyang Building.
She had a suicide note, not much, except to let people take good care of their children,
The most is Huang Renzhong, she still loves him, and she can't forget him until she dies.
The child's biological father became a mystery, and no one knew whether he was Huang Renzhong or not.
Fortunately, Faye Wong's agent raised him, and now he has grown up and lives a happy life.
Except for the occasional thought of my own loss as an orphan.
And Chen Baolian's death has also become a mystery, some media called the Nanyang Building a ghost house,
Before that, two people jumped off a building to commit suicide, and both of them were cornered in life.
Among them, all kinds of ghosts and gods are not discussed for the time being, people die like lights go out, and Chen Baolian's ending is more in exchange for a sigh.
Two years later, Huang Renzhong was hospitalized for systemic organ failure.
In the hospital bed, there were no warblers and swallows around him, and he seemed very lonely.
Before he died, his cloudy eyes looked at the void in front of him, and he wondered if he remembered the woman who would never forget him until his death.