People around me include myself, there are anxiety to pay off the mortgage, there is anxiety about having children and no money to raise, there is anxiety that the work they are engaged in can not bring enough economic returns, there is anxiety that there is no other half, there is anxiety that there is not enough money, there is anxiety about the dilemma between work and family, there is anxiety that I can't pass the examination (such as myself), and so on, and so on.
These anxieties can actually be seen from one point of view as a pursuit of a better or more life experience. It is with these anxieties that we are constantly making changes to get more life experiences.
But at the same time, I want to ask myself and ask you a question: Are these things that we are anxious about really what we want ourselves? Or is it what people of this age in this society want, or that's what others do, so that's why we do it?
Have children. It's our own real desire to have one, and we're ready to pay some freedom, money, and time for it. Still, although I don't have enough money, although I am not ready, but everyone else has given birth, I should also give birth. My parents wanted me to give birth, so I gave birth. I didn't want to do contraception, and I was born when I was not careful.
After giving birth, then start complaining, losing this, losing that. Start to worry, this has no money to buy, that has no money to buy, this freedom is gone, that time is gone.
Even when the child grows up, he says to the child: How much money I have spent on you, if not you how much money I have, or how much I have been.
It's like having a baby is not a choice? In fact? Can you have children without having sex? Did someone come down from the sky and throw a child in front of you and tell you you had to keep it?
So these anxiety surfaces seem to be life-changing and positive. But as everyone knows, its roots are already the opposite.
From the above story of having a child, I think two conclusions can be drawn.
(1) If something is not something we think clearly but is done by others, then such a life may cause us to be anxious because we are not actively choosing and not being prepared. At the same time, the root cause behind the seemingly positive behavior may be wrong, which is also called: the direction is greater than the effort.
(2) All things actually have a choice. If we don't have enough money, enough time, and a stable family, don't make another child because of greed, and then worry and complain about the embarrassment of life. Because we don't deserve to complain, it's our own choice. And life has always had a choice, and having children is never a must.
The same lack of money to buy a house borrowed to buy and then anxious. Isn't it possible to rent a house? Isn't this the anxiety that comes from wanting a house and not matching your own abilities?
Wait, wait.
Does it make sense to think clearly about whether these things are really what we want ourselves or what others have given us?
make sense.
This makes it clear to remember that if we didn't, we wouldn't actually have these anxieties. Everything we want, everything that creates anxiety, is the result of what we want, what we think, what we choose.
So we can complain about the anxiety that arises because of what we want ourselves, so as to moderate the mood. But don't always complain about the world, blame the people around you, complain about the outside world, and let yourself have so much anxiety. For all anxiety comes from what we want, from our greed for something that our abilities do not yet match.