Happy smile: the green mountains are still there, a few degrees of sunset red...

1. Just got up yesterday, I heard that my girlfriend who has been working outside for many years is married, and I am really happy for her. I called to congratulate her, she said she was a little unwell and went to the hospital. When I went to see her in the afternoon, her face was full of happiness, and when she asked about her body, she smiled and said: The green mountains are still there, and the sunset is red a few times...

2. A brother has to cut his nails every time he goes to see his girlfriend, and I ask him incomprehensibly: Just cut a girlfriend, don't have to fix it so clean every time, right? He laughed at me for not understanding. cut! Pretending to be sophisticated, I still don't believe I can't understand. I also found a girlfriend some time ago, and then... I also started cutting my nails...

3. Friends say: Find an 80-pound girlfriend is bone, find a 100-pound girlfriend is sexy, find a 120-pound girlfriend is fleshy, find a 140-pound girlfriend is emotional, find a 180-pound girlfriend, you are the sense of responsibility for the people to eliminate harm... I asked my friend: What was it like to find a 280 pound? Friend said: I don't dare!

4. A bottle of water, free of charge in the river, piped water for a few cents, buy one or two in the supermarket, buy ten in the KTV, buy twenty at the airport, buy thirty-five in the bar, and the desert is a priceless treasure... The same is water, put in different places the value is different. Nyima, who has been setting up stalls in the desert for more than ten days, has not met a single person...

5. Shopping in the afternoon, I saw a girl leading a cute dog while crying and walking, and a boy kept coaxing behind her. The girl suddenly said angrily: I see through you, you are in my heart now, it is better than this dog! The boy also broke out, pointing at the dog and saying: I will love you and hurt you, will it? Will it?! As soon as the words stopped, the dog turned his head and hugged the girl's calf, which was a crazy sensation...

6. Last night I drank some wine, lying on the bed chatting with my daughter-in-law, I joked with her, before and after even the female ticket to take her five or six, none of them are B cups, think about this life are wronged. Only to see her take out 100 yuan from the bag: Husband, I understand your pain, go, but there is a point, can only touch, can not do anything else Ha. Having such an understanding daughter-in-law moved me to tears that my tears were about to fall... This money is in hand, taking advantage of the fact that my daughter-in-law is not at home, I am ready to secretly stand up and rest for a while...

7. Cousin twenty-eight years old when he soaked a nineteen-year-old girl, single-parent family, her mother thirty-seven, that look is very scary, and then the mother and daughter at the same time pregnant with children, cousin into her family, now both children are in primary school, but the cousin is thin like a monkey, it is difficult for him!

8. Every time I want to be with my wife, she is as cold as frost, and I have to grind hard bubbles to succeed. Today, this product is not wearing the inside and the affectionate model is still rubbing around me, I said with a look of disgust, roll the calves, Lao Tzu knows that your great aunt is coming again!

9. When I first worked, I liked a female colleague, but she was too good, I didn't dare to chase, afraid of not being able to chase. Dude cheered me up: how do you know you can't catch it without trying? So, I had the audacity to chase... It turns out that men should believe in their own strength! I really can't catch up.