Today I will read "No Choice" for you in three minutes.
It is often said that one more choice leads to one more possibility, which means that we will be happier and freer than others. But the book "No Choice" mentions that choice has indeed changed our quality of life, such as in the previous era of material scarcity, there were only a few items, there was no room for choice, and now even if you buy a small refill, there will be hundreds of types for you to choose. But from another point of view, spending time choosing from hundreds of refills is a waste of time. Because of too many choices, many people begin to have unrealistic expectations, self-pity for failure, and fall into anxiety about difficult choices, so too many choices are a burden, and our happiness will be lower. So with today's many options, how do we avoid these problems?
First, understand what you really need. Many people have no choice in front of choice, and the fundamental reason is that many people do not know what they want. For example, many parents often send their children to a lot of extracurricular interest classes, but in fact, this kind of children who run between various interest classes end up learning well without a specialty. So a good choice often starts with a clear understanding of your needs. Let's take a look at Liu Bang, how he made a choice not to let himself regret it. We know that Liu Bang and Xiang Yu were inseparable from each other in order to fight for Jiangshan, and in order to force Liu Bang to obediently surrender, Xiang Yu came up with a trick, tied Liu Bang's father to the battlefield, and set up a pot on the battlefield, put Old Master Liu into the pot, and prepared to make a boiled white meat. Xiang Yu thought that Liu Bang would definitely surrender when he saw this scene, otherwise even if Liu Bang won the battle in the future, he would be ridiculed by the world as an unfilial son. But he underestimated Liu Bang's shamelessness, and instead of surrendering, Liu Bang shouted across the river: "Remember to put some spices, so delicious." "Speaking of this, many relatives will say that this Liu Bang is really not a human being, and his father's meat must be eaten." But in fact, the reason why Liu Bang did this was because he knew what he needed: he had to hold on, otherwise he wouldn't say save his father, and Maybe Liu Bang's own life would be difficult to protect. Liu Bang not only knew what he needed, he also understood Xiang Yu's needs. Xiang Yu is a very good face and pays attention to personal reputation, so Liu Bang added a sentence later: "You must not forget, you have worshiped with me, then my father is also your father, if you want to kill your father, you are not afraid of the world's people laughing at you?" When that Xiang Yu heard it, it seemed that this was really the case, and he had no choice but to let Old Master Liu go.
Later, we all know that Liu Bang, a gangster from a small asshole, finally defeated Xiang Yu, who was superior in strength, and the fundamental reason was that Xiang Yu did not understand what he needed, originally fighting the world was the work of real knives and real guns, and he could not talk about face, but he wanted to talk about face and reputation, so Han Xin scolded him for being a woman's benevolence and could not become a big deal.
Second, we have to learn to control our desires. The reason why people are unhappy and prone to gain and loss is because desire is doing strange things. Recently, a piece of news pushed on the headlines has caught fire. It is said that an uncle found a partner for his daughter who studied abroad, he said that he must have money, and the monthly salary of 10,000 is similar to begging for food. This remark was said by a prominent netizen that he was hurt by 10,000 points, and many relatives said that where there is such a meal, I also signed up. On the surface, this uncle knows very well what kind of ruyi langjun he wants to find for his daughter, rich and highly educated. But in fact, having money and academic qualifications means that you will be happy? Looking at this uncle who said some other conditions, it is even more expected that the son-in-law of the future hair is a good man who combines appearance, talent, money, and status. Of course, maybe this uncle can really find this ruyi langjun for his daughter in the end, but his daughter may not be very happy. Because the pursuit of perfection like this, the expectation is to choose the perfect person, then even if you finally get a better result, you will not feel satisfied and happy. On the contrary, there may be better choices later, and they are more likely to regret it. In fact, many leftover women now have such a problem. When talking about the object, they are often thinking of choosing the best mentality, but in the end, they are confused by the flowers, and they don't know which one is suitable for them. So properly control your desires, do not ask for the best, then you will easily get happiness and satisfaction.
Third, learn to make trade-offs and focus on important things. As mentioned earlier, because everyone has more choices, then we need to spend more time making our own decisions from a variety of choices. That would leave us with little energy, so we need to learn to streamline and control the timing and quantity of choices in small things. I have a deep understanding of this matter, some time ago my mother let me buy a sofa cushion online, originally she looked at one of the styles I was ready to order, but she wondered if there would be cheaper? Better looking? As a result, she asked me to look more, to find more, this look does not matter, it took a whole morning to save a dollar. Later think about what is called saving money, nothing else, I did not write a manuscript for half a day, I had to stay up late at night, and saying a good healthy life has become an empty phrase again. So from a cost point of view, it is quite unworthy to choose too much for small things. Therefore, when you go shopping, you may wish to set a selection standard for yourself, such as only looking at two stores, only spending two hours, which can greatly save time.
Fourth, learn to create your own options. I believe that everyone knows that the most difficult problem in the world is the question of who to save first when the mother and wife fall into the water. Why is it difficult? Because the mother and wife are their closest people, they are not willing to give up anyone. This is actually a dilemma, when people are caught in two situations, they are often unable to choose because of pressure. But in fact, many times things are not black and white, and we should learn to create the right choices for ourselves. I remember that there was a relative in Goku's Q&A who asked that he and her husband did not have the same personality and wanted to divorce, but the children were still young and afraid of impact. The reason why the relative who asked the question was so entangled was that she was in a dilemma, but in fact she had more options, such as improving her relationship with her husband. So when none of the choices you're faced with are what you want, think about whether there's a better option. Then we watch the popular "Ode to Joy" some time ago, the heroine Fan Shengmei, she is also in a dilemma in the face of her mother's endless oppression, send money back to the mother will give money to her brother, so that the brother and sister-in-law will never grow, that does not send money back, the mother will have no money to eat, the mother and nephew will be sad. When she was at a loss, her boyfriend helped her think of a better option, that is, to send a friend to send something over, which not only made her mother understand Fan Shengmei's determination not to support her mother, but also made her mother and her little nephew's life secure.
Therefore, when you encounter problems and fall into a dilemma, you must open your mind and think about better options, so that you will not regret your original choice.
Well, let's talk about this today, pay attention to the reading meeting, read good books with us, read interesting books.