With four thousand gold at home, I was physically and mentally exhausted

My husband and I met on 12 years working in an electronics factory in Dongguan. Once I went to KTV and thought that he was very good at singing and dancing, which deeply touched me, so no matter how my family objected, I still insisted on leaving Guangxi and marrying into Jiangxi. After marriage, it was not as beautiful as I looked. My husband's family is two brothers, the conditions are not very good, the little uncle is not yet married, we live together, the meal is made by the mother-in-law, at that time I was pregnant, I was also full of expectations. I had four daughters in five years, from 14 to 18 years. Usually I wash the bath, almost all the food is fed by me, and at night the children sleep with us. We pay for our own expenses. I think it would be nice if I had two children, but four is really noisy, in fact, I don't think I'm a good mother, always scolding them. Here, the idea of son preference is more serious. Once, Chinese New Year's Eve, I had been pregnant with my fourth husband for five months, and my father-in-law said to my husband, "You don't go to God and bless and have a son." I was very angry after hearing this, and I felt that the gender had been determined, so I said, "Is it a daughter who has given birth to this, and I still have to give birth?" I was crying. Later they did not dare to mention it. My husband listened to me, and though I knew he didn't say anything, he still had that thought in his heart, but he knew my temper. My husband's salary is very small, and it is all entrusted to me for safekeeping. The province is just enough to spend. Usually, I don't know how to care about me, just like a square wood, I will do it. Really regret marrying away. But fate is so tricky, I'm really tired.