Recently, in a variety show, Gillian spoke for the first time about her childhood experience, which made Huo Wenxi, who was sitting on the side, drop her jaw in shock.
It is also well known that Jiao Jiao grew up in a single-parent family, but her personality has always been very introverted from her debut to the present, which makes Huo Wenxi feel very confused, after all, now she has become financially independent, and her career has also passed through the trough period, and it is reasonable to say that it should not be like this.
But Gillian said that her personality actually has a lot to do with her childhood experience, her mother gave birth to her at the age of 18 or 19, her father died when she was a child, her mother, who is still young, does not know how to take care of children, plus her mother can not stay with her for a long time to work, so when she was a child, she was often fostered in different families.
She recalls that when she was sent to a foster home, she was constantly beaten on the head by the man, which gave her childhood shadow, when she told her mother about it, but her mother not only did not help her, but also suspected that she was lying.
Later, she was fostered to her uncle's house, but the treatment did not improve, she said that she usually can only use the water of her cousins to bathe, the oranges she eats are also the worst, she grew up in this unfair, loveless environment for a long time, which led to her personality is very unconfident and insecure.
Ah Jiao said that although she has been debuting for 20 years, she has never said these words to others, and Huo Wenxi on the side is heartbroken after hearing them.
In addition, in the program, Joey Yung asked everyone: "If you encounter a dangerous situation, who are you most worried about at the moment?" Everyone's choice is relatively normal, but Gillian's answer makes people very sad.
Zheng Xiyi's answer was: Her daughter and husband are very important to her, but in times of crisis, her daughter still gives priority. Huo Wenxi said that he was more concerned about his mother and daughter.
Joey Yung, who also grew up in a single-parent family, will choose to call her mother at the first time, while Asa said that she would choose to record a video to say goodbye to everyone around her.
What about Gillian, she actually said that she didn't know who to call, maybe she would call the police.
Everyone was very surprised by this answer.
In fact, Asa and Gillian both grew up in single-parent families, but why are the personalities of the two so different.
After Asa debuted, she always felt that she loved to laugh and always had a positive and optimistic attitude towards life, while Asa has always been taciturn and introverted. These may all be closely related to their childhood.
Gillian's childhood
1. Continuous transfer
Gillian's mother gave birth to her at the age of eighteen or nineteen, and in order to earn money to support the family, she had to put her in a different relative's house, which led to her living a very turbulent and displaced life since she was a child, and the kindergarten alone changed 6, which made her insecure from an early age and her personality gradually introverted.
2, no friends
Because of frequent school transfers, she basically had no good friends in her childhood. May have just become familiar with some children to face the transfer, coupled with the previous mobile phone, the computer is not so common, after the transfer of basically cut off contact with each other.
If the child does not have fixed friends, there is no object to share in time when some happy and unhappy things happen around him, and over time it is easy to put away his emotions and become unwilling to share his joys and sorrows with others.
3, did not get the love they deserved
Because the mother can not accompany her for a long time, and in the foster family or relatives' home, others will certainly not treat Ajiao like her own children, then her long-term growth in this loveless environment will make her mistakenly think that she is not worthy of love.
After talking about Gillian's childhood, let's take a look at Asa's
Asa's childhood
Her partner, Asa, also grew up in a single-parent family, her parents divorced when she was very young, she had no other siblings, she lived with her father after her parents divorced, during which she also transferred many schools, but she said that she has always been very happy.
1, Dad's life care
Asa's father had never been exposed to housework since he was a child, and was the young master of the family, until he later divorced Asa's mother, and in order to take care of his daughter, he began to try to wash clothes, cook and go to the supermarket to buy daily necessities.
According to Asa, "The first time he cooked it was really 'amazing', cooking a tomato potato soup, so salty that I almost cried." He said he didn't put salt, but he took the pork bones and pickled them before making the soup."
Although her father was clumsy in taking care of his daughter, he worked hard to take care of her daughter, loved her emotions, and believed that Asa could feel it too.
2. Dad's support for her career
Asa's father is also half of the entertainment industry, he is also fully supportive of his daughter's career, according to Asa recalls, the original debut, the fan president of their support club is her father, I believe that at the moment of knowing, Asa is very happy.
And when Twins held concerts at that time, her father would also wave the flag for his daughter in the audience, loudly calling her daughter's name and becoming a fan of her daughter.
Her father has given her a lot of help and support in life and career, which will make Asa feel very warm and make her feel that she is a happy child.
3. Mother's education
Although her parents are divorced, she also maintains a good relationship with her mother and gives her a lot of advice when she is growing up, so that she can avoid many detours.
In fact, in the current era of high divorce rate, parental divorce is a very common situation, but we can't let innocent children have an unfortunate childhood because of adult problems, on the contrary, parents need to give their children more love, which can make up for the harm caused by divorce to them.
How parents spend time with their children after divorce
1. Attentive companionship
After divorce, parents will generally choose to let the elderly take care of them because they want to work, but on weekends or after work, parents can still take time to accompany their children.
But the companionship here is not only to accompany him to do homework and watch TV, but also to create some parent-child time, such as reading with children, doing sports with them or chatting.
2. Care about your child's emotions
After the parents divorce, the child's emotions especially need to be paid attention to, because many children will feel that it is because of their own problems that their parents are divorced, so they must emphasize with the children that your marriage problems are not related to the children's affairs, do not let him have such a sense of guilt or guilt, and can not let him blame himself.
In addition, you can emphasize to your children that although your parents are divorced, you are still his parents, you will still love him, and you need to make him feel safe enough, so that he is not easy to be unconfident because of other people's gossip.
Another point to pay attention to is the adolescent child, the child at this stage is originally more rebellious, so parents need to give them more love and companionship, so that they can better pass this sensitive period.
3. Create common topics and exclusive memories
Even if the child is not living with himself, in fact, he can also accompany him, such as creating some good memories for the child's birthday, of course, you must start from the child's point of view, do not use your way to give the child a life, otherwise the child will feel that you are particularly perfunctory.
In addition, you can also start from the child's interest, if the child is more interested in a certain sport, a certain instrument, you can take time to accompany the child to class, or buy them some sports equipment or musical instruments, you can also accompany them to see some ball games, concerts, etc., which can promote the child's interest, so that you have better links and topics.
4. Willing to share
Divorced family children are more sensitive in their minds, you want them to take the initiative to open their hearts with you may be difficult, at this time you can try to take the initiative to share your things, share your life, your work, your ideas, when the child has trust in you, then he is naturally willing to share with you.
When he is willing to share with you, you can prove that you really entered his heart, and in the future, in the process of growing up, some of your suggestions, he will really listen to it, in case he encounters difficulties, you can also help him in time.
5. Be good at listening
Many parents, even if they are not divorced, feel particularly far away from themselves at a certain time, mainly because they do not understand the needs of their children.
In fact, many times it is not because the child did not say it, but because we parents did not listen to it, thinking that the child's words were not important, so we selectively ignored it.
In fact, at the beginning, children will tentatively express their thoughts to their parents, and if we pay enough attention at that time, then they will be more willing to believe us later.
Once we choose to ignore, then in the future he will choose to close his heart and not share his things with his parents, because he feels that even if he says it, his parents will not believe it and will not be respected.
So, listen carefully to the child, even if they come up with some inexplicable ideas, we try to understand and feel, try to think from their point of view, so that we can help us to enter their hearts.
summary
There is a saying that a happy childhood heals a lifetime, and an unhappy childhood heals with a lifetime. I hope that after watching Gillian's experience, whether divorced or not, parents will take a good look at their own education and companionship, whether they have caused harm to their children.
The divorce of parents has already caused a harm to the child, so please do not hurt them twice, we need to make up for this lack with double love, every child deserves to have a happy and beautiful childhood that heals a lifetime.
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