Last week, the Korean love variety show "Single is Hell" broadcast on Netflix finally ushered in the finale.
Although the guests of this show are all vegetarians, but the figure and appearance of each one are enough to attract attention, and then put the handsome and beautiful women together to fall in love, it is difficult for people not to watch!
Studio guest react
In addition, the program setting is also a big selling point: when they first met, single male and female guests stayed in the "Hell Island" with only raw materials, and they needed to fetch water, make a fire, cook, and did not have any electronic entertainment equipment.
The only way out is for the guests to match each other every afternoon. If you succeed in both directions, you can head to the "Paradise Island" and enjoy a romantic world for two in a five-star hotel.
And the person who fails to pair up can only stay in Hell Island and continue to cook on the fire-
Moon Se-hoon, who was trapped on Hell Island for three consecutive days cooking
Under such rules, how to quickly pair up with the object of your choice successfully, "off the list" to escape from Hell Island has become the primary task of male and female guests.
In the final finale, some people got their wishes, and some people returned with regrets. So, in these nine days and eight nights of getting along, what are the remarkable performances of male and female guests? Is there anything worth learning from us?
Today, we summarized 5 "off-order" small tip from it. Let's take a look.~
*The discussion in this article applies only to heterosexual contexts, and sexual minorities may have different situations. Invite everyone to rationally discuss the plot and plot of the love variety show, if there is a different view, welcome to leave us a message in the comment area!
When the male and female guests first arrived at Hell Island, they chose each other based on their first impressions in completely unfamiliar situations. But in the small note session after the first group cooking, the guests' favorite objects quietly changed.
One of the rules is that guests prefer to communicate with the opposite sex with themselves more and more about the opposite sex than the choice at the first impression. For example, Song Zhiya, who received three small notes on the first night.
In the program, as soon as Song Zhiya arrived at the kitchen, she took the initiative to take on the work of washing rice and cooking rice. Later, when the male guests fetched water, Song Zhiya also took the initiative to go with them. Compared with other female guests, Song Zhiya and male guests have more opportunities for exchange and contact.
From a psychological point of view, physical attractiveness in speed dating is often the most important factor. There is a stereotype about physical attractiveness: beauty is good (Eagly, 1991).
People tend to rate people who are good looking higher. On the premise of providing the same information, beautiful people are often considered "smarter, friendlier, more cheerful and confident"
However, every guest in the show, the appearance of the body is almost no short board, each has its own good looks. Even so, there was a small note among them who did not receive it.
An Yiyuan received nothing at the end of the first day
Looking back, the guests who wandered away from the camera seemed to rarely take the initiative, and even only stood at a distance to watch during group activities. As a result, both the guests and the audience know relatively little about them and cannot feel "mutuality".
Social psychology defines intercourse as "the same positive response to a positive, friendly behavior," that is, active people are more likely to receive a positive response.
So take the initiative for the people you like, love sometimes needs to be fought for, which may be the first step to successfully get rid of the list!
When the program team interviewed the first impressions of the male and female guests on each other, other guests talked about the object of their hearts, and only Song Zhiya gave such an answer -
Is this the legendary Play-Hard-to-Get? That is, by managing the availability signals that you release to the other party, you get more control in the relationship, so that you have more power to decide whether the relationship continues.
I have to say that sometimes this trick is really useful.
The male guests found Song Zhiya the most difficult to figure out, and they also discussed her the most
Birnbaum's (2020) study found that people want more challenging goals that require more thought. That is, when people reduce their availability, their attractiveness in the eyes of the other person increases.
However, in terms of difficulty, although people do not like the object at their fingertips, if the other person is too challenging, it will also make people lose interest (Jonason & Li, 2013). Releasing just the right availability signal is at the heart of Play-Hard-to-Get's success in practice.
The most popular "Han famous scene" in this love roundup may be a small note written by Song Zhiya to Jin Xianzhong on the first night.
On the way to fetch water together, Song Zhiya was asked what kind of person she liked, and she replied:
And that night, in the anonymous small note event, Kim Hyun-jung received such content -
Kim Hyun-jung looked at the note with a completely uncontrollable smile
Later, the two confirmed each other's intentions in the show. Kim Hyun-jung once again fondly recalls the little note.
Two people full of atmosphere
Song Jiya's callback, on the first day, creates a sense of connection between herself and Kim Hyun-jung that belongs only to each other. Echoing the small note laid in front of it, it brings a very impactful delayed consummation to Kim Hyun-jung, plus an intriguing "? ", the sultry scale is just right.
Psychological research has found that good callbacks not only bring a sense of responsive satisfaction through coherence, but also create a sense of belonging and association (Helitzer & Shatz, 2005).
Callback, while making the other party feel interesting, the psychological distance between the two sides can become closer.
Therefore, when you have a favorite object, you may wish to try to add some callback stalks to the communication, forming an internal language that only you understand, and unconsciously have a special atmosphere
When the female guest Jiang Suyan first appeared, the first impression was "love sports", "sexy" and "blunt", and was considered by the studio guests that "many people should like her".
However, after watching "Single is Hell", you may feel that Jiang Suyan's performance in the show is a bit "down", such as feeling that she has prematurely substituted herself into the identity of the male guest "prospective girlfriend".
In the first mutual selection, Jiang Suyan and Wu Zhenze were successfully paired and went to Paradise Island together. The two of them spent a good night on Paradise Island, and Jiang Suyan couldn't help but ask, "Shouldn't you come to someone else on your next date?" In this ambiguous atmosphere, Wu Zhenze replied: "I will only come with you." ”
This seemingly sweet question and answer has become an untime bomb that hinders Jiang Suyan from getting off the list on Hell Island.
After getting this "promise", Jiang Suyan's mentality changed a lot. No matter how the rules of the program group change, as long as Wu Zhenze does not act according to her ideas, she will turn on the questioning mode.
After only two or three days of acquaintance, Jiang Suyan was very eager to get a definite answer from the male guests. When the other party showed an ambiguous attitude during the mutual selection stage of the love show, she thought that she was "playing" with feelings. Such questioning not only failed to resolve her doubts, but also brought a strong sense of oppression and discomfort to the male guests (KY author: it is also uncomfortable to watch as an audience), but slowed down the progress of the relationship.
In any kind of intimate relationship, uncertainty is inevitable.
Why didn't he get back to me? What is his relationship with that person? What would he think when I said that? These problems are very common in ambiguous relationships. We need to know that in the face of these problems, in addition to anxiety due to various possibilities, questioning why the other party has not given a definite answer, and doubting whether we are slagged, we can also retreat and try to enjoy the tension brought by this uncertainty.
Bearing uncertainty in relationships and not responding to uncertainty with impulsive behaviors plays a key role in the lasting stability of relationships. Sometimes, being completely intolerable to ambiguity is a less healthy sign. Improving tolerance for uncertainty is also a lesson we must learn as we grow.
What if the other person finally refuses? You who are brave enough to enjoy this process are already attractive enough
In the ending of "Single is Hell", although four pairs of guests held hands successfully, only one pair deeply touched me, and this pair was also the most reversed.
In his first impression, Wen Shixun chose Shen Zhiyan. After that, every time he went to paradise island for the pairing choice, he also did not hesitate to vote for Shen Zhiyan. However, the first two times Shen Zhiyan did not choose him, and Wen Shixun was jokingly called "Hell Island Lord" by the audience because he was left on Hell Island the most times.
Still, he worked Hell Island.
He will not hesitate to share the reward with Shen Zhiyan after winning the game, and will also take the initiative to chat with Shen Zhiyan in between group activities to try to get to know her better.
However, these acts did not spark a spark between the two at first. Shen Zhiyan only felt that if she did not feel for the other party, she should try to avoid communication and not give the other party unnecessary hope.
Shen Zhiyan declined Wen Shixun's invitation to chat
After being repeatedly rejected by Shin Ji-yan, Wen Shixun also had the idea of giving up, and he tried to persuade himself to let go of his mind and let go of his obsession with her.
However, he turned to a metaphysical book similar to the Book of Answers and said that he would follow the instructions of the book.
He got four words —
Wen Shixun decided to follow his feelings in a bitter smile and once again chose Shen Zhiyan.
And this time, after hearing Wen Shixun's sincere confession, Shen Zhiyan finally "saw" Wen Shixun. She felt that she was understood, and she couldn't help but cry, and her good feelings for Wen Shixun also rose sharply.
In the end, Wen Shixun and Shen Zhiyan succeeded in getting rid of the single, which also made us feel the gentle and firm strength of sincerity in love.
When we look at many details, Wen Shixun chose Shin Ji-yan and Song Zhiya when he won the opportunity to invite two female guests to dinner at the same time. Everyone thought that these should be his two favorite objects, but he explained that inviting Song Zhiya just thought that she and Zhiyan were very good, and hoped that Zhiyan could eat in a more relaxed state.
According to the psychoanalyst Kernberg, a crucial part of the experience of love is a genuine interest in the lover. When we have a sincere interest in each other, the other party can often feel our sincerity and care, which can prompt both parties to be more invested in this feeling and start a positive cycle of deepening feelings.
Perhaps this is why the later in the show, in the face of Wen Shixun's purity and sincerity, Song Zhiya's ease of playing with male guests has become more and more discolored. "Seductive skills" and "careful machines" may really bring a lot of favor, good feelings and opposite-sex relationships, but sincerity is always the deepest "routine" in feelings that can reach people's hearts.
Today's Interaction: Do You Think Singles Is Hell good? Do you have a "off-order" experience you want to share? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area!