A friend left a message saying that the views expressed in "The Myth of Parenting" and "Genes and Upbringing" are the opposite! It is believed that the effects of heredity on people are more profound and long-lasting than education. But that book doesn't talk about epigenetics. He'll buy another copy of Gene and Upbringing. My reply is that you can read a few more copies.
When we read books, we can do the same as John F. Kennedy, the author of "Brain Tidying Up.". B. Arden puts it, "With an attitude of non-judgment, you can take a step back from these things and watch them progress, like watching the tides." "By maintaining the perspective of a bystander, you can develop an attitude of not being judgmental." If you just sit by at any time and don't react to what's happening, you'll delay reacting to the situation until all the information is looked at correctly. Expanding horizons is consistent with expanding attention. Contrary to the usual state of narrow, blunt reactions, bystanders free you from stressors because you react right away from the stimulus rather than responding to them. "John F. B. Arden's view can also help us to correctly deal with the dispute between various educational views.
Returning to Judith Harris's "The Myth of Parenting", the author uses a lot of evidence in this book to prove that in the process of children's growth, the influence of parents is not as great as everyone thinks, and the real influence is the children's peer groups outside the family (the Taiwanese translation translates as "peers"). An interesting example is that a psychologist had his toddler raised with chimpanzees of the same age, and while raising them in a human way at the same time, it turned out that her child was becoming more and more chimpanzee-like and sent the chimpanzee back to the zoo early (because chimpanzees of the same age as humans developed intellectually faster than human children, so they had a leading role). The socialization of children is not to imitate adults, because adults can do things that children generally cannot do; the goal of children is not to become a successful adult, but to become a successful child.
If we agree with Judith Harris's entry point of view, then there will be no market for family education experts, and there will not be so many people to take what family education qualification certificate to guide parents how to be parents. More importantly, friends who are parents will realize that many family education experts are cutting leeks. Judith Harris makes it clear that "experts" are wrong and that parenting does not determine the growth of a child. Judith Harris also advises parents on what they can do and what they can't. If you turn to "The Power of Intuitive Parenting" and "How Children Learn", you will understand that parenting is not as mysterious as experts say, and parenting is only basic common sense and rationality.
"Genes or Upbringing" does not conflict with "The Myth of Parenting", "Genes or Upbringing" is based on evolutionary psychology, starting from the three psychological mechanisms of status system, socialization system and relationship system, and incisively explains the factors affecting personality differences. But Judy Harris still emphasizes that "while mothers cannot replace peers, peers can sometimes replace mothers."