My name is Ankang.
I never cared about the name before I had an accident, for me it belonged to someone else, and to me it had no real meaning.
It wasn't until that day, on my way home from college, that I was hit in the face by a private car and ended up having a low-level amputation during the operation, that I first thought about the meaning of my name.
It's like a satire, and I'm going to carry it on my back and live a crippled life.
This name comes from my parents' surname, and the reason why I came to this world is also from my parents, so I dare not and have no right to condemn it, and my crippled self.
Until now, I can't forget how sad it was on the first day of postoperative awakening, when I found that all the parts below my left knee had disappeared.
The doctor explained that the foot injury caused by the car accident was seriously blood clots, the blood could not flow normally to the ends to complete the cycle, the blood supply was seriously insufficient, affecting cell metabolism, making the tissue prone to necrosis, so it could only be amputated...
My mind was blank, and I didn't want to listen to the doctor's mechanical answer according to the medical record, which even made me feel angry.
For me, the world has almost collapsed. But to others, what is this?
To my parents, they just hugged me and cried, and my heart could almost hear their hearts beating. They appeased me with the same mournful heart.
But I didn't cry.
This suffering and this grief killed my tears.
Even my words.
My grief and roar were buried in silence.
My parents' grief is no less than mine, and only their grief in this world will be worse than mine. But even though I understood this, I still complained, why didn't they stop others from using knives at me?
Overnight, I thought the world was terrible!
Who knows that the world will be completely destroyed when you think it is going to collapse.
The day after the operation, the doctor informed me that the situation of cell necrosis in my leg was getting worse, and I needed to have the lower part of my right leg and knee also amputated, otherwise my life would be in danger.
I say to each and every one of them:
You are going to take away my legs, and I will beat you with the whip of a dead man!"
Have you ever imagined a life without legs, it's like having no eyes in the night, not even finding the light!
Do you sympathize with me? No! You're trying to hang me slowly!"
You can take a knife and cut my bones, and I swear that I will bite my own throat with my teeth and let the spilled blood burn your hearts!
I finally erupted in silence, roaring at the doctors and nurses, and I almost wanted to burn the last spark of my life at this moment.
My parents persuaded me, and I said I was going to make my own decisions.
I was not in a state of physical condition to be hysterical, but even a weak, powerless struggle was enough to intimidate the crowd like a knife, prompting them to dissuade me.
At that moment, I wanted to kill myself.
Just then, the ward door suddenly opened, and a girl broke in, and somehow she broke into my ward, and somehow she was so excited that she went straight to me and began to scold: "You are a cowardly man!" You can ignore your parents' grief, you can choose to die or live, and you have enough right to do so. ”
Right. I have enough rights.
I looked at the girl fixedly, and she was right. However, her eye circles were red, and there was a stream of heat gushing out of her eye sockets, hot enough to burn her eyes.
She said to me with red eyes: "Have you really thought about it, what will happen to your life in the future, have you really considered it?" You don't, you don't even have the courage to think. What about without two legs, your heartbeat doesn't stop, and you don't really lose the color of life unless you want to. Later life is the same for everyone, and no one can predict what it will be, but is it not precisely because of this that there is a meaning of living and seeing? But you have judged in advance that your life will be bleak, so it is the easiest, you would rather spit on it than bear it, you are a coward! ”
After saying that, she slammed the door and ran out crying.
★ About the Author ★
Yang Weibin, a contracted writer of 21st Century Publishing Company, the director of Baizhan Xiongshi Pictures, a photographer, is currently working as an unorthodox choreographer of a serious company, responsible for the content creation of the Douyin platform, a serious person who writes scripts during the day and writes novels at night.