Gather and scatter two yiyi

Chapter 1: Gathering and dispersing two Yiyi

At the moment when you were about to leave, I suddenly thought, what do the vows and promises of the past represent? This kind of compound question, in fact, even if you don't understand it, you still have a determination in your heart. I don't know what I'm losing? And what you get, that's the clearest kind!

Looking at your smiling expression because you are about to leave, my loss is not something that can be said in three words. The frenzy of the cold wind outside the door, at this moment, added to the sadness of heaven and earth!

I can't help but think a lot, according to normal development, some things will only deepen the feelings with understanding, but if there is a feeling of separation more and more with the deepening of understanding, it can only mean that this "understanding" is only more and more clear about the results of a person.

The distant ones don't dare to think too much, and they don't dare to say too much, because those are all unattainable things. I've had a lot of thoughts about you, and even had an urge to go my own way from now on. However, your situation has made me let go of my impulses again and again, and the only reason is the word "intolerable"!

For many years, the word "intolerable" has hurt me a lot. My "intolerance" is not a manifestation of cowardice, but in many ways, I cannot withstand the scrutiny of my conscience. And for everything he has done, although he has some regrets, he has also had some discouragement. However, after all, it is still because I can never get out of my own perception, so I continue.

Some insights have been gained from many promises, and perhaps that is the objective thing. What I indulge in is not something I have completely lost my senses and cannot do. However, in the understanding of love and love, some of the efforts are willing to accept. Although, while being happy, there is also a kind of wordless pain, after all, that is the scope of what you can accept.

My speechlessness is actually because of various contradictions and I do not know how to express them accurately. Originally, there were also many "cut-to-the-point" practices, but in the end, I still withdrew my life and included myself in a kind of grievance of "peace".

How many times, looking at this figure of your departure; how many times, in many unknown "sympathies", my choice often becomes a feeling of heartache. How many dreams have been left behind in that fluttering wind and dust? It also hurts the vicissitudes of ancient and modern times!

And you, the facts have shown that nostalgia is another world. At the same time as all the efforts I have, I actually have an uncontrollable hurt. From what I know about you, I dare not easily conclude you as a ruthless and unrighteous person. But what you do, no matter from what aspect you understand, in the end I can only rely on my own feelings, gathering and clinging to each other, scattering and relying on each other!

Including all the people involved, everyone has a kind of contradiction between the two dilemmas. The collision of attacks in emotion, how difficult it is to grasp!

Who is the person who lets all people fall into all this? But this is not a trap, it is a torrent and whirlpool of emotions! Similarly, when these go to the other step, they can also kill people in certain circumstances.

What is staggered is often unexpected, and with these, there must be some helpless feelings. Along my memory, from the spring light and the cold winter snow rotation, my only way to do it may be to wander!

Your decisions have been repeated since the beginning. Just because you're making all your decisions today doesn't mean you're a fixed form of person. However, maybe when all the "talk" will make you regret it for the rest of your life, maybe you will try your best to make up for it. In this state, even though I want to be a lover, I will still give up the final decision in a heavy way.

Today, your departure is a kind of sadness that can cause everyone to be sad. But I don't know when to make an ultimatum to you. And the story from that beginning to the end, after all, is still a time that is difficult to forget.

Where there is happiness, there is sorrow! I solemnly continued to think about some decisions. Between the hesitations, the light smoke of dusk gradually rises, but your figure sways in the twilight attachment.

I put away the decision that I don't know if I can do it for the time being, and if there is an afterlife, then the constant doubts will be the beginning of my writing!

Chapter 2: Gathering and dispersing two Yiyi

The night lifts the veil of the past, and the mellow fragrance of friendship is a poinsettia. I think the photograph is a kind of record of time, as long as you see it, you can remember the beauty of that year. Simple and happy days, at this time only thoughts and greetings are left. Liking words is always a little sensitive, especially for friendship, not much, but must be at ease. It is written that back to this night, there will be many people on the way to life, and many people will be lost, but there will always be some people who will be the quietest in life. Night, confused romance, the original recall of the past, not only the wind and snow moon, will make people intoxicated... Love is a glass of wine, and everyone must get drunk; and friendship is also a glass of old red wine, mellow and thick, the longer the more charming.

That day, I inadvertently broke into the space of my colleagues in the original unit again, and saw the photos that everyone had taken together before, some dancing together, some art photos taken together, and some accompanying photos of playing together. Although it is like another life, it is still fresh in my memory. It turned out that they, the beautiful, feminine, warm women, had always dwelt in my heart.

She has always felt that she is a thin and cool woman, has a cold and indifferent heart, is not used to being moved, and does not deliberately try to please others. However, in such a deep night, accompanied by the starry sky, I was once again hit by the memory of the lifting.

I remember that when I first joined the unit, I was just a young mother, a little proud and high in my bones, at that time, I was still a very naïve, very pure little girl, with no city, calm, although working in the administrative department, but with the personnel of various departments to get along well, worked together for several years, there was no great conflict.

Has always been a simple person, can not learn the eight sides of the exquisite, do not know how to meet the source, when working, serious and responsible; when leaving work, everyone gets together, giggling, not happy. I think that I really like them, that group of women, their cheerfulness and brightness often infect me, so that I can also see the sunshine in a very gloomy weather, and the time we spend together always makes people can't help but miss and reminisce.

In the Spring Festival of 2000, after Zhang Na, Yanan and I finished eating the New Year dinner, they clamored to go to the city to play. On that day, the sun was particularly bright, shining on the body, as if wrapped in a layer of gold veil, bright and gorgeous. For no reason, the mood was so good that when the three of them passed by a photography store, they impulsively wanted to take an art photo. The woman like a flower, a quiet smile, and the frame taken have always made me so happy to collect, named "Life like a song", which exists in the depths of my memory and has not faded.

I also remembered that in that year, we learned to dance together, and for the unit party, several women went to learn to dance with a cheerful pace every day after work, tired, of course; bitter, of course; but what was more exciting than tired and bitter was that when the wind of youth glowed in our dance posture, we were undoubtedly beautiful - this is enough.

It is also because the time together is so beautiful, so I deeply remember their names, their looks, their smiles, their quietness, their wildness, their all.

Now, nearly five years after leaving the unit, I still often think of them, where it is a beautiful and innocent time in my life and career, and the days spent there have always been so peaceful, so stable, not alarming, calm. I like such a simple day, do not need too much mind, just every day, in a smile to start a new job, in a smile to end the day's work, into life.

Dear you, are you okay now? I, really miss you.

Maybe women who like words are always sentimental, sensitive and vulnerable, just like me, in my bones, really thin, really willful. I remember mr. Liu Shuke, the octogenarian president of the "Deserted Village Poetry Society", replied to encourage me: "Wenwen, I hope you are happy, don't write so many sad words, okay?" "。 And I have lived alone with my son for so long, but there are also some people on the blog who can understand me and care about me, understand my thin coolness, forgive my willfulness, and make me find warmth here. So I still like to use words to express, to interpret, to express emotions.

No matter how busy it is.

In fact, there is really no reason to fall in love with words, and there is really no purpose, just because of that faint like, I cling to the love of my heart, and I have always been so content with the clouds and the breeze.

For writing, there is no deliberate attention to skill, and there is no requirement for themselves to pursue perfection, and one article after another is all casual and spontaneous. Most of the things written are short things in some parents, and most of them are just wind and snow, but they are closely related to their own lives, and they cannot be separated from the ambiguity.

I like to be entangled between the words, and the moment when I breathe deeply face to face with the words, I think, I am a happy, happy, not troubled by the dust, not entangled in love, I am good at dancing with long sleeves, I am radiant, I can imagine myself as a star that attracts everyone's attention.

Swimming in the ocean of words, some are just a calm heart like water and peace. When writing, the tip of the pen is a touch of mood, a wisp of sorrow, and an autumn coolness. Writing and writing, the heart is quiet, but also faded, began to calmly and leisurely.

Used to late at night, when people are quiet, soak in coffee and light a cigarette, use the keyboard to type down a line of heart language, pour out their inner thoughts. I have always felt that I am a simple and quiet woman, but I just like the crystal clarity of the text, like the aesthetic quiet of the text, like the clean and clear of the text, because I like it, I am reluctant to put it down, and I have always been so warm and warm to let her accompany herself for many hours.

Maybe the women who like words are mostly sentimental and delicate women, with a variety of tender feelings like Lin Sister, but they have fallen into the mortal dust and become laymen.

When you are sad, the words are also stained with tears.

In the past, I did write too many sad words, and I couldn't even say that I was sad, or words, just like when my once-happy marriage ended, I couldn't say that it was my own heart or self-esteem that was hurt.

It is said that women who love words have no simple happiness, and maybe I am not happy because I love words, but because those lives make me unable to shine.

Early in the morning, dusk, walking, lying down, words blossom on my heart, as long as I can express it in words, I will never use words, too often ashamed to talk about me, so focused on the beauty of words, I have forgotten that there is a storm outside the window.

Falling in love with words, just because of love, I insist on inner persistence, trekking on the road of literature, although it is difficult and dangerous, but the heart is joyful, because between words, it records the road traveled, the tears that have flowed, the broken heart, one by one traces, is the wave jumping in the long river of years, wonderful and flexible.

Like words, really, just so quietly rejoicing, insisting, letting the vicissitudes of the world, everything turned into ashes, my words in my world, the achievement of eternal brilliance, brilliant my sky.

Many times, words often can not express the most real sadness or happiness in the heart, however, more often, in the text, I confess all the emotions, happy, melancholy, sad, sad, happy, all the emotions are frank in the text, the text, is the most beautiful wave in my life, is my most true expression.

Entangled with words, compassion, I do.

For me, if there were no words, then my life would be pale and powerless.

For me, if there were no words, then my life would be empty and silent.

In the pulsating text, it is my bright smile, my slightly enlightened lips, the tears in my eyes, and the emotions surging in my chest.

Words are the flowers that bloom in my heart, making me stand in the dust, still smiling.

May I be a simple, simple woman, in the kingdom of words, guarding the last line of defense of the soul, and being at peace.

May I be a happy, smiling woman, let the heart always hurt, always hurt, hurt until I no longer feel the pain, and then open my heart, let go, transform, and be born again.

May I be a beautiful, low-key woman, entangled with words, living so quietly in the past, in the present, and in the future, to find my happiness.

In this life, I chose to be accompanied by words, I will not regret, nor regret, only wish to forget the past unbearable, with the current vision, looking forward to happiness, let the heart return to tranquility after the madness.

Entangled with words, the chaotic world has nothing to do with me; the wind, flowers, snow, and moon have nothing to do with me; chai rice, oil, salt, and salt have nothing to do with me; and the world is hot and cold has nothing to do with me. I'm not realistic, I'm not snobbish, I'm just a jubilant elf in words, just in my own world, sinking, sinking, sleeping.

I remember that very early on, I read Anjing's text: I am a very strange person, I don't like my friends, and then add my other friends, more than a certain number, I will give up without mercy.

At that moment, I felt the same way!

I'm the same, when I see my friends all stacked on top of each other, I'd rather give up.

I don't know, who else would be as indifferent as I am? Perhaps, no! Yes, I admit that I am a cold woman, not warm, not bright, not cheerful, and there are many sorrows and resentments hidden in my heart, and so much sadness, but it is difficult to talk about, and I don't want to mention it.

Thankfully, such a me also has my own friends and my own life.

Hideko is my earliest and longest friend, the two of us have nothing to talk about, eight or nine years but still the same, as happy as when we first met, even if the distance is far away, the two people still cherish each other's fate and affection.

For Hideko, I don't know how she evaluates me, but I know that no matter how unbearable or perfect I am in the eyes of others, in her eyes, it is the real me, the real me. In front of her, I don't have to be defensive at all, good and bad, all frank.

There are really not many people who can truly tolerate me, Ying Zi is one of them, along the way, we have all gone from that young and crazy youth to today's middle age, we have become mothers to each other, and we are all quiet and elegant, but as long as we are together, it is the most simple expression.

The crazy days together seem to be vividly remembered, and in the blink of an eye, everyone is already a good wife and mother, a family woman. The days passed as plain as water, occasionally, talking about the youth and madness of the past, each other's eyes would still be thrilled, and that time, as bright as the sun, was placed in the memory, and it was a beauty that could never be forgotten.

I always liked to go to a tea restaurant to eat, order two simple set menus, order a few songs, not really sing, just listen, silently to each other, listen to beautiful music, in such a young age, this is really the quietest time we have ever met.

The two of us have very different personalities, she is cheerful and bright, I am soft and calm, but in fact, we are like-minded, both have the same preferences, have the same quiet, and have the same pursuits. That month, she was my best support and accompanied me throughout my youth.

Nowadays, the two places are separated, Ying, are you okay in your hometown? Winter is over, and I am thousands of miles away to give you the truest blessings, thinking that you are well.

Under the tip of the pen, word by word, word by word, are writing sorrows and joys, joys and sorrows.

Night, open the enchanting veil, under the brilliant starry sky, the stars blink, the moon sprinkles the bright light on the earth with affection, this winter night, nagging, not a chapter in the text, but there is my softest side, about friendship, not much ink in the article, but there are always some shadows, is the thought in my heart.

I have loved dead and alive, and when I was finally abandoned and returned to reality with my son alone, I found that love really collapsed; how deeply I loved, how much I hoped, then how much I hated, how much disappointment there would be. Finally, I also learned not to bow my head, no longer compromise, and no longer give up my entire life for an emotion.

Once those bright and dazzling lives, fainted by the light of love, now, really indifferent, no longer love, just life, let the most thorough side of life, purify their hearts, to discover the emotions of love, just like friendship, just like family affection, those who are not cherished at ordinary times, but at the lowest tide, it is precisely the power to warm themselves.

I don't know, such a road, going down, will not lose each other at a certain corner, but I know that if we go down, there will always be a day, we can meet each other, at that time, we still have joy in our eyes, hidden joy, hidden in the past, a faint sentence: are you okay? It will be the most beautiful condensation of the past, and it will also be the quietest together in the future.

Night, deep, this night, with a pen to write, written to write, the eyes are wet, is tears, touched, sincere tears.

The night, deeper, sleeping in this silent night, I began to talk to my own heart, in all time, I can only remember those beautiful, because those who have a good heart will always be kind to themselves, to others, and will eventually reap full of happiness.

Pull back the curtains and let the wind blow into the room, blow over my face, blow through my heart. The fragrance of Tieguanyin tea leaves, winding and tangling, lingered between my lips. This night, let me think of my friends from afar, but the heart is as still as water, because I understand, they also understand: gathering and scattering, the years are like water, always speechless; if it is well, it is a sunny day.

Chapter 3: Gathering and Dispersing two Yiyi

Gathering, dispersing, dividing and combining is the most frequent arrangement and combination in the world, gathering for love, scattering is also for love, points are for love, and unity is still for love. This virtuous emotional cycle is an emotional trajectory that is everywhere in life, that no one is absent and indispensable. You, me, and he have all been pained, bitter, sweet, happy, sober and lost for this, and this is life. Year after year, day after day, ancestors have walked through this way for generations, no one can hide, can not avoid, there is no choice.

Innate love is parental love, brotherhood and sisterhood, and this love blood is thicker than water. There are often bumps and bumps, but they will not pass by, they will not deviate from the trajectory, although they will occasionally deviate from the runway, but the love of their parents will always unite them in time to return.

What comes from this is friendship, love, this kind of love comes from all the time and place in life, fate gives everyone the opportunity to know each other, getting along day and night so that each other establish a friendship between the same sex and the friendship between the opposite sex, the same sex has become a sister of the same surname, the opposite sex has brotherhood and sisterhood and love. Over time, the relationship between sisterhood and brotherhood with different surnames has deepened and some have been diluted. Deep natural gathering, light natural dispersion. Love after the run-in of time and emotion, becomes a natural union, and then sublimated into a new kind of love - husband and wife love, husband and wife love is also family affection, is another kind of family affection without blood relations, no less than parents and brothers and sisters, sometimes even above family affection, because they jointly gave birth to a new life, the crystallization of the two people. What is different from blood affection is that there is no eternity, the management is not good, and the family affection will be aborted at any time. Of course, if the run-in is not successful, it will be divided. In short, the gathering and dispersion of them, sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, salty will let you taste it over and over again, slowly taste it, each has its own taste.

The most fashionable love is the current new type of thing "group", this kind of love is a platform built by the network, the strange you, me, he brought together, to form a special circle of friends, where everyone sticks to the stereotype, when they get together, whether they know or do not know each other's real name, they only call each other's screen names. Perhaps because most of them do not know each other's true identity, but also because there is no interest relationship, so when they get together, they are very relaxed and relieved, and dozens of friends get together to eat, sing, dance, play ball, climb mountains, swim and so on. Wait, the fees are all AA system, very fair, no one owes anyone anything. Every day there will be new friends to join and withdraw, in and out, gathering and dispersing is naturally very frequent, because it does not hurt the bones, so it will not hurt the heart, only occasionally feel the wind and cold, after all, they have met.

The last thing I want to face is the gathering of relatives who have passed away, and the most heartbreaking thing is to send off the scattered relatives of the immortals. It is really everywhere and everywhere, everywhere is ruthless. Cherish you, me, and him, and gather and scatter them.

Chapter 4: Gathering and Dispersing two Yiyi

A sip of tea is very bitter; a long road, a long time; a friend, more hope is a lifetime; a relationship more hope is frozen into eternity. After going through so much, I found that more often than not, I was just a hurried visitor. What is lost is true feelings, and what is precipitated is regret. The Yellow River, which cannot be walked in the dream, is washing the scab face with vicissitudes and helplessness in reality.

The beautiful song of the lost beauty pierced the deep pain of my soul, whether it was worrying or watching, I knew that you in my heart would stretch into an ivy full of thoughts. Tagore said that life is happy because of gain, and life is rich because of loss. Because of you and my thin life must be rich, because of you, my discolored youth appears to have a foundation, and I am also open-minded and content. I just hope that when you come, you have no intention of reuniting, and when you go, the footsteps are lightly ——-

If there is a fate, you and I will walk in a big circle, and we will walk in front of each other, I don't know whether the emotion of having a fate is a purity or a regret, but I often dry you in the sky of memory. Look at the charm of your reading, look at the romance on the banks of the Yellow River, see your fascination with the sunset——- have too many memories, if time can be frozen, even if I want to exchange something important in my life for it, I am willing. If I could, I'd like to stay on the day you're smiling. There have been too many things I want to say to you, but the opportunity is always missed by myself again and again. I wonder if there is reincarnation in life? If there is reincarnation, what are we in the next life? No matter what you are in the next life, I think I am willing to meet you again.

I don't know why the eyes are a little damp, in fact, the dampness is more of the heart. I lit a cigarette, but found that I was even lonelier than ever, and loneliness filled everything I had. The bits and pieces of those years seem to have disappeared, but who knows the love that is really buried in the heart better than themselves? Some emotions cannot be called love, because they transcend love itself. Maybe only I know better, but in fact, understanding and not understanding itself is incomparable. If someone asks me, I can only say that there are many differences, but where they are, and they can't say, people who understand may not ask anything more.

Writing and writing, I don't even know what I'm writing, what am I trying to express? But who can understand what I really want to express? Miss the beauty of life, but not in the missed friends season. "Angel's Wings" can be sung not only to lovers, but also to friends. What drifts with the wind is always a short stay, will friendship drift away with the wind? What am I going to use to witness.

I think of a classic line from Journey to the West, which I don't say. Life is impermanent, gathering together is the fate, it is yesterday's blessing, if separation becomes a concern, it is today's luxury and it has become a tide and a tide, gathering and scattering two clinging.

Chapter 5: Gathering and Dispersing two Yiyi

Sometimes I like someone and enjoy my own happiness. When typing these words, the words flashed through my mind, "A woman with secret love, like a lotus flower that quietly bears seeds, subtle and determined, even in late autumn, even if the frost falls, she is still clear and dark, quiet and self-assured, she is often lonely - lonely but not lonely." ”

Every time I saw that familiar name, it was like a stone falling into the heart lake, stirring up strands of emotion. Thoughts are always involved in such a complex, grabbing the atrium, panicking the steps of thoughts, bits and pieces of deep sorrow and hatred. "Only to lower my eyebrows but to my heart." The beauty of this acacia is still the same, blooming enchantingly in the deep valley of memory.

Falling in love with someone inadvertently. I am always blindly avoiding, afraid of mixing such pure emotions with a trace of flaws. Afraid that love will hurt each other, afraid that you and I will not go far together. I said, if our hearts are connected, you hurt me and I hurt. I have always believed in that emotion, so determined, that I thought that I could withstand the vicissitudes of the sea. It turns out that the protagonist in the play is not myself, but I am acting in a one-man show. In an instant, he fell from the clouds to the abyss, and the wounds were inexhaustible. Love, I am afraid, the heart is scarred, the love is fragmented, but what is paid can not be received.

A woman's heart is under the needle, and it is as if she does not understand the darkness of the day and the night. You said you read the deletion. It is easy to delete the record of words, but what cannot be deleted is the memory in the mind. No matter how I trekked, it was only a wound, and it hurt slightly. You say, let me down. It's not disappointment but heartache to see your indulgence. But you say that you want to weave a dream, and you can't bear to wake you up. Think more that you do not pretend to be strong and tell your heart; think more that you no longer dodge, know your love, and touch your truth.

How can you not understand? To change herself for her, to tolerate arrogance and unreasonableness, and to be strong when vulnerable. Waiting so long has suffered you. Not wanting his love to blossom on other people's wounds, he gave himself a far-fetched reason to leave. Remember you asked, how do we proceed? I say go with the flow. If there is a fate, they will be accompanied by each other and warm to each other; if there is no reason, turn around, leave, strange road, each is safe, each has nothing to do with each other.

Some words are to be said, and more words can only be said to themselves, want to give themselves a period of time, bury the past, can not forget the people, the original is still unable to escape the fate of a thousand times, back to find its past life and this life.

Memories are soaked, page by page, always looking back at the side of the house, gathering Yiyi, scattering Yiyi, gathering and scattering two Yiyi. Looking back at the smile, the tangled thoughts have dispersed. Simple, it all goes by.

Chapter 6: Gathering and Dispersing two Yiyi

There is no love that is not painful, there is no love that does not complain, when the moon is missing, there is always a blade looming, and only when the moon is full, a wisp of acacia can be transformed into a thousand styles. In the concerto of love and time, I am either slow and half-beat, or fast half-beat, and do you have such compassion that stops and waits for me when I am slow and half-beat, and reminds me to wait for you when I am about to half-beat?

- Caption

A thought of dust arises

The water said "I tried to melt into all the places where you existed, but you were like a ball of cotton, indifferent to face", I said "you don't understand", so I became his stranger, sent a message with my mobile phone, a series of sending failures, the red exclamation point like blood, let the gastric juices begin to churn, some unfinished words like flies stuck in the throat, spit out and swallow. A faint pain in the heart. It was said before that there is a difference between "pain" and "pain", that pain is short and sharp, and that pain is slow but long.

In fact, the heart of cotton should be the softest, but it is not easy to be seen. Life is not a dream, mortals are not immortal Buddhas, how can everything be as desired, perfect, how many people for the deep love in the heart, really do the pleasure you are happy, pain you hurt, suffer you suffer? In this materialistic moment, I believe there is, but definitely not much. If so, how can we make promises lightly?

I wrote in my journal that "when you stand up in my eyes, I don't think about your importance, and my eyes are drawn to some fresh mud." The moment you left, I knew you were important. "I am always like an ignorant child, greedy and willful, claiming the king in my own world, not knowing to cherish it when I face it, and only knowing it is precious after leaving."

Bai Luomei said: The four hours flow, all the roads are chosen by themselves, every ferry port is their own willingness to stay, cause and effect have never owed you or me anything, we have no reason to complain. So I don't complain, but can I have such a time difference, meet you at my freest time, and dedicate my best years to you? Then even if you turn away, you will inevitably turn back, so tied, you will be able to cut and keep messing.

I am a sensual woman, like all women, in the vast red dust, the pursuit of a tranquility, asking for an affirmation, looking forward to an understanding. What I want is a simple, pure and transparent world, and meeting you is a secret that I can't hide. You said I was the one in your previous life, and I said I must have owed you in my last life. Walk into your heart, the sun is shining, the branches are lush; smell your fragrance, gently warm, straight into the atrium. I draw warmth from your song, read and read in your words, and feel your pity for me from your soft words.

In a whisper, a understanding, a few joys. As soon as the thought of dust arises, you become my trigger, and the bones are connected and interlocked.

The second thought is tranquility

You say, as soon as I have a little thing, you sit restless, I am good, you are all right. You said it would be nice if you had twenty-five hours a day, so you could have an extra hour a day, and you could love me twice. I silently flipped through the chat history, and the tears flowed so silently.