Text | Ten o'clock jun
A sister this year's college entrance examination, some time ago to fill in the volunteer, to consult the opinion of ten points Jun: I want to learn Chinese, I like to read and write things, but dad said that Chinese future development is not good, let me study law. What am I going to do?
Ten O'Clock Jun said that he was very helpless, in the past, this year, the father imposed his dream on his children. This incident made Ten O'Clock Jun think of a person. He not only obeyed his father's wishes to study law, but also continued to read until he obtained a doctorate. He is
Famous
Franz Kafka
Yes, the writer who wrote Metamorphosis and Castle. A magical story about waking up early in the morning and turning into a big beetle.
Father's dream
"You asked me recently why I said I was afraid of you. As always, I am speechless, both because I am afraid of you and because to illustrate my fears, I have to count many trivial things, and I can't say them all at once. ”
Franz Kafka was born on 3 July 1883 in Prague to a Jewish merchant family. His father opened a fashion store from scratch, and the business grew bigger and bigger, and Kafka became an absolute rich second generation.
Kafka was the eldest, his two younger brothers both died young, and it was six years before Kafka's three younger sisters were born. Therefore, as an only son and the eldest, Kafka had to honestly bear all the dreams and hopes of his father.
Kafka's father had the personality of all the nouveau riche merchants, he was strong, healthy, hungry, tough and composed. He hoped that Kafka could inherit the family business from business.
△ Kafka's father
However, Kafka was born thin, often sick, sensitive and thoughtful. He loved literature, was not interested in business, and was very afraid to go to his father's shop.
Father hated such Kafka for iron and steel. He used to educating his children through strength, yelling, and tantrums, while Kafka expected encouraging, kind eyes.
"I have never understood how you can't feel how much pain and shame your words and your evaluation will bring me, as if you don't know anything about your own power. I'm sure I say something sad to you too often, but I'm always aware of the hurt I've done to you, and it hurts my heart, but I can't help but say it, and I already regret it when I say it. ”
At the age of 18, Kafka, although he studied his favorite Germanic language and literature at the University of Prague, was forced by his father to change his studies in law.
Kafka and his youngest and favorite sister
There was a lack of understanding between him and his father, and he even despised and hated each other. When Kafka gave his work to his father with enthusiasm and expectation, his father's answer was cold: "Put it on the bedside table." ”
Kafka never managed his relationship with his father well throughout his life.
But he tried. At the age of 36, he wrote a very long, honest and affectionate letter to his father. He finally had the courage to face it and wanted to have a frank exchange with his father.
In your opinion, the thing is roughly this: you have worked hard all your life, sacrificed everything for the sake of your children, especially for me, so that I have been living a "flowery and wine" life... But I have always avoided you, hidden in my room, in my books, in a bunch of crazy friends, in my mysterious and mysterious thoughts; I have never spoken to you, never accompanied you to church, never visited you at Franzen Hot Springs, never had a sense of family in other respects, have never cared about business and other things about you...
If you were my friend, boss, uncle, grandfather, or even father-in-law (though hesitant), I would feel lucky. As a father alone, you are too strong for me, especially because my brothers died young, and my sisters are much younger than me... I had to take your first blow alone, and I was too weak to bear it.
In his short life of 41, he brewed the imprint left by his father in his heart into works such as "Metamorphosis", "Judgment", and "Castle". The protagonists in the work live under the oppression of great powers, and most of them are "shy, timid, cowardly and kind".
It can be said that Kafka spent the most brilliant decades of his life, in another world, finally, to deal with the relationship with his father.
Leave your last words and burn all your manuscripts
"On the surface, the people in the office are more noble and lucky, but this is just an illusion. In fact, they are lonelier and more unfortunate. Instead, craftsmanship leads people to crowds. Unfortunately, I couldn't work in the carpenter's shop or the flowerbed. ”
After graduating from university, Kafka found a position in an insurance company, where he worked diligently as a small clerk for the next 14 years. Until 1922, his lung disease was so severe that he had to resign to recuperate.
△ Kafka at the Schwann Sanatorium
In the office, Kafka was always conscientious and conscientious, never neglected his work, and treated his colleagues very politely and respectfully.
14 years in the insurance company have enabled Kafka to have a profound experience of the darkness of society and the absurdity of life: the timidity, helplessness and trepidation of the poor; the indifference, prevarication and roar of officials; the tedious and meaningless fulfillment of official documents makes people feel sad, desperate and terrible... All this shook his soul.
Then, at night, he also expressed it accurately and slightly distorted in his literary works. He always stayed up late writing and smoked a lot of cigarettes. Throughout his life, he suffers from pain, insomnia, and neurasthenia.
During his lifetime, Kafka published very few works, only a few short stories. They were all taken out under the pressure of his friend Brod.
△ Max Brod
In addition to his interest in reading his own works, he rarely expressed satisfaction with his own works, and was never willing to show his manuscripts.
Before his death, he left a will for his friend Brod, saying: "All the manuscripts in my relics, whether in my diary, manuscripts, letters from others and myself, drafts, and so on, are burned without reservation, without reservation, without reading or having to read." ”
However, Brod did not follow this will, but instead put together the works one by one. We can only see Kafka's work now.
Chen Danqing once explained Kafka: Just like Lin Daiyu, lung disease also burns manuscripts. Both men have a characteristic, no ability to compromise, preferring self-destruction rather than going along with each other.
Engaged three times, but never married
"I came into this world with a beautiful wound, and this is all my dowry."
Through Kafka's writings, many people think that Kafka is a melancholy, short man.
But in fact, Kafka is slender, quite good in body, thick eyebrows, big eyes, well-defined, cold eyes like Wu Qilong.
△ 4-year-old Kafka
△ In 1901, 18-year-old Kafka
In the love field, he is also a master. In his short life at the age of 41, he had three unforgettable relationships, three engagements, but never married.
In 1912, at a dinner party in Berlin, Kafka met his first beloved woman, Phyllis Bauer, and fell in love at first sight.
He wrote in his diary that he "missed it very much— I was embarrassed before writing the name — FB."
They fell in love for five years, and Kafka wrote her more than three hundred letters.
Kafka wrote, "We can be together forever and cannot be separated, and my right hand holds your left wrist." "I don't know why this feeling happened to me. Probably a book about the French Revolution was put in front of me, when a couple of lovers were sent to the guillotine together. ”
Calm and affectionate.
He proposed to Phyllis, then repented, proposed again, and then repented. In the end, the two separated because of their disagreement.
△ In 1917, after the second engagement, he took a photo with Phyllis
Kafka wanted to be a writer, while Phyllis expected a healthy husband.
In a café, Milena Jasonska noticed Kafka, who came here every day to write, and she left him a note, "I have to admit that I like you and your work. ”
Milena was a journalist and published numerous books.
Kafka's first letter to her began: "Ms. Marina, the rain has finally stopped after two days, and in celebration of this beautiful event, I have decided to write to you..."
But Milena was already married at the time, and she hid kafka, and when kafka found out, she broke off contact with him in pain.
△ Milena
He wrote his last letter to Marina in the dim light of the café,
I can't remember your face now, only the back and the clothes you remember the moment you left the coffee table.
Dora, on the other hand, spent the last and most painful days of his life with Kafka.
Kafka longed to get married and have children, to create a wonderful family, he once wrote: "Getting married and having children is the greatest wish of my life." But he was also afraid that for the rest of his life, he would not be able to get out of his own world.
Kafka and rag dolls
"Youth is full of sunshine and love. Young people are happy because they can see beauty. As soon as this ability is lost, the unsintained old age begins, and the decline and misfortune begin. Whoever can maintain the ability to discover beauty will not grow old. ”
Looking up information about Kafka again, I was surprised that he was an extremely kind man.
When he is with others, he avoids talking about himself, and when others speak, he is fully engrossed. Know how to distill its shining side from everything.
Kafka's three younger sisters
In a letter to a friend, Kafka recounted an incident in his childhood, which, though long and small, was evident in Kafka's kindness and sensitivity.
As a child, Kafka received sixpence and was very eager to give it to an elderly beggar sitting between the old town square and the small square. But he was worried that "this is probably a number that the spirit has probably never received, and how ashamed I would be in front of her to do such a rough thing."
So he changed his sixpence to zero, first gave the woman a penny, then walked around a large circle and then gave it again, and so on dozens of times.
The story of Kafka and the rag doll can better illustrate the childlike heart and goodwill hidden in Kafka's heart.
In November 1923, a seriously ill Kafka was walking in a park in Berlin when he came across a little girl crying because she had lost the rag doll.
Kafka in 1920
In order to comfort the little girl, Kafka said that the ragdoll was not lost, but left for the trip, because the ragdoll wrote him a letter and entrusted him to be a messenger.
The next day, Kafka brought the little girl a letter. In the weeks that followed, Kafka would bring a letter to the little girl every week. The doll went to London and Mexico, and the letter was plastered with stamps from all over the world. It went farther and farther away, and after a few weeks it was written that she was married and might not be able to write any more.
In fact, these weeks of letters were written by Kafka.
At this time, the little girl had long forgotten the loss of the rag doll, but was fascinated by the story in Kafka's letter.
More than half a year later, Kafka died.
Many years later, Kafka's researcher Klaus Wagenbach finally found the little girl. Decades passed, and she still kept the letters. Become one of the most iconic works of the lonely Kafka.
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