The company arranged for me and my female colleagues to travel on business, and on the way, her husband kept calling me, and I didn't answer once. When I got to the hotel, he called me again, and I had no choice but to connect. He said, "Brother, I know you're on a business trip with my daughter-in-law, and I tell you that my daughter-in-law sleeps and snores and grinds her teeth. I said, "Brother, don't worry, it's all right!" Her husband said, "You, I am at ease, I am not at ease with my daughter-in-law." The next day, I called my eldest brother back and said, "Brother, my sister-in-law doesn't grind her teeth or talk about dreams. "One sentence annoyed him, saying that he would go back and beat me." I wondered, isn't the communication very good, how can you suddenly hit someone, do you say he is sick?
2. There are a lot of mosquitoes in the summer, sleep with my wife and children, I don't know why I don't bite the two women, I bite me!! At night, I was really annoyed by mosquitoes, so I turned on the lights and killed all the mosquitoes, and my wife was also woken up. The wife said dissatisfactorily: "It is so big to fight a mosquito." Me: "Don't bite you, right??" This mosquito is picky eater, and if you catch me and bite me, you must kill me. At this time, the daughter covered the quilt in fear and said, "Daddy, I promise not to be picky eaters again." Me: "..."??
3. The younger brother cried out in anger to his younger sister, and I told my younger brother in front of my younger sister that my brother was very aggrieved and said: I don't know why I am angry. Me: Girls are like this, do you see my sister I don't often go crazy? Brother: You are neurotic, normal! I'm on fire: you're only insane! At this time, the younger sister wiped her tears and said weakly: My husband is not neurotic.
4. The man did the bus home, just got on the bus and the conductor said that the seat was full, and he silently withdrew. At this time, a handsome man and a big sister also got on the car one after the other, the conductor said as usual, the handsome man quickly turned around and got off, and the big sister still walked towards the car. The handsome man grabbed the eldest sister and said: Full, don't get on! The eldest sister paused and ignored it, watching the handsome man let go, and the eldest sister almost roared: I am a master who drives a car! Who would dare not let me get in the car?
5. After returning from studying at MIT, I worked as a nurse in a large hospital. During this time, the aunt in the sick window took a fancy to me and wanted to introduce me to the object. I told her I was married and had a girlfriend, but my aunt didn't believe me. Until today, I brought my daughter, and my aunt said: This baby looks much more beautiful than you, can you keep it for my grandson first?
6. When I was in junior high school, I fell in love with a girl, and once, I had the courage to confess myself, it was just noon lunchtime. When I found her, she was tearing up two steamed buns and an oil cake and pouring them into the rice soup along with the vegetable soup, and then she took it up and pulled it into her mouth! I didn't know the word woman at the time, and I was stunned. I thought to myself: A bit biao! Then, there is no then.
7. Last night, I was working overtime in the workshop, and the workshop director sent me a V letter, saying that he had ordered us takeaway milk tea. Just then the takeaway arrived, and I took the milk tea and drank it while sending the rest to my colleagues. Colleagues thought I bought it, and they all said words of thanks, and I listened to it very well, and against my will, I did not say that the workshop director bought it. When it was sent to Xiao zhi, there was actually no more, and everyone looked at each other. I certainly can't give her what I've drunk in my hand, so I'm ready to buy another drink. Xiao Zhi gave me a blank look: Team Leader, you have an opinion on me! After saying that, I left work with my bag...
8. Brothers have a gold membership card at the entrance of KTV, go to the front desk to check the balance of 200,000 yuan. He immediately opened a large private room and took me with him. We sang for two hours, and when we felt a dry mouth, we called the waiter over. I asked, "How much does Coke cost?" Waiter: "30 bucks." I then asked, "Is this a large bottle or a small bottle?" Waiter: "Why do you dare to pay back KTV without money?" Just three dollars for a convenience store. So the brother took out the golden membership card and blinded the waiter's eyes.
#Funny# #搞笑段子 #