What does it mean to grow by leaps and bounds, its English name is Mindshift, which is the transformation of thinking. How to start a new journey through the transformation of your own thinking?
No one should be limited by themselves in the past living environment, we should find a way to break through, and this breakthrough process relies on the transformation of thinking, that is, our ability to change thinking.
The more you get, the more you trap yourself, and weaken your child
Children at home on vacation, always afraid that the child's food is not enough to eat, every morning get up early to prepare some things at home, in case the child is hungry when there is no food to eat, such a situation has been frozen in our lives for a long time, behavioral machinery, the cycle begins, such a day for a long time to feel physically tired, the heart will be very tired, there is a feeling of being trapped.
The key to the problem is that the child rarely does housework, can not cook, the more things will not like to do, in the long run, the child feels that the things at home are the parents' affairs, and she has nothing to do. And they are very tired, there is no extra mind to interact with the child, do their own thing, less emotional communication and love interaction, the child does not feel a sense of value and belonging, there will be no enthusiasm and initiative.
What to do? Can there be an easier way to raise children?
Competitive mutual help, mutual achievement, mutual growth
The other day, I told my child how I felt, and I said, "When I come back from work and do housework, sometimes I feel very tired, and when I get tired, I feel bad."
The child said, "Then let's take turns doing housework so you won't get tired, right?" ”。
May I? At that time, I still had a sense of guilt, did this feel a bit like an element of scheming with children? Completely immersed in the cognitive world of the self.
This morning, I was cooking, and the child came over and said, "Since the two of us competed in cooking, I found that you are trying to challenge me, thinking of various ways to do better?"
Competitive cooking? It turned out that the child regarded cooking as a kind of competition, which was a good idea, and the seemingly boring housework had a soul in an instant.
I thought about it and said, "Really, I used to feel like I was singing a monologue, but now someone is playing on the same stage with me, and it feels good to have interaction and communication!" Really more motivated than before. ”
It seems that in the future, to maintain an open mind and accept different opinions and different ideas at any time, it is not only a way of life that you think, but also say it, there are more possibilities!
Believe in the child's ability to help the child become the protagonist of life
I found that in the past, children did not participate in housework, and a large part of it was the reason for the parents, one was the lack of patience of the parents, and the other was the lack of encouragement. When the child first starts to do things, it is normal to do it well, at this time, parents can not have a prickly eye, but should have a pair of curious eyes, observe how the child does things, and give feedback and encouragement in time where they do well.
When doing things, the parent's mentality is also very important, can do housework into a happy thing, can also be done as a bitter thing, if the child can feel happy to do things, then she is still happy to do things.
At the beginning, do not expect too much from the child, it is appropriate to reduce the difficulty of doing things to the ability to do things suitable for the child, do a good job, and then challenge a new thing, so that the child will feel a sense of accomplishment every time he does something, and the child will slowly like to do things.
Children need the gentle protection of their parents and the cruel challenges of society
There are a group of volunteers in the United States who specialize in helping children like drug addicts, gangsters, violent elements, orphans, etc., arranging small things for them, you do social work, and then doing this social work will give you some money, keep them away from gangs, stay away from drug use, and keep them from doing those dangerous actions.
After 30 years, the information of the children who received these assistance and the children who did not receive the assistance was transferred out, and then looked for these grown children again, and the result was that these people who received assistance at that time generally had a large number of psychological problems, unemployment, alcoholism and other behaviors. McCord was particularly surprised, so he went to look for more case studies and found that this was the case.
The reason is that "giving children a lot of rewards when they complete simple tasks actually reduces their diligence and determination." In other words, if the foreign aid makes things too simple, it can be counterproductive and stifle his inner drive, so the best way to cultivate a strong person is to have both tough and strict and caring for both the two types of interpersonal relationships. ”
It can be seen from the above cases that any overprotective behavior violates the rules of the operation of the natural world, and the growth of children needs the gentle care of parents and the cruel challenges of society to stimulate the child's internal motivation and energy, and to grow into a person with a sound personality.