After ending a 10-year relationship, Shen Aojun began to feel confused about love, and even if he met the right person, he did not dare to easily enter the marriage. Who knows, on a show, talking about this past, the host's casual words actually made her suddenly cheerful, and she turned her head and decided to marry the object.
In 1997, due to the co-production of advertisements with Aaron Kwok, Shen Aojun was excavated and developed into an actor. Subsequently, she was nominated for the Golden Eagle Award for Best Actress with her outstanding performances in many TV series such as "Divine Doctor Xi Laile" and "The History of Love in the Tang Dynasty", and gradually became well known.
However, her career is smooth, but her feelings are incomparable.
Before marriage, Shen Aojun had a 10-year-long relationship, once came to the stage of talking about marriage and marriage, who knows, when she publicly said that she was about to get married, the other party transferred her feelings and did not fall in love, and the feelings stopped abruptly.
The sudden blow made her depressed, decadent, and even questioning her love. After that, after a long period of adjustment, she gradually came out of the emotional wound.
Soon after, she met her current husband, the descendant of Yong Yao, the Prince of Qianlong, on a blind date arranged by a friend.
The two have the same taste and similar views, so they quickly establish a romantic relationship.
In the days of formal communication, due to the special nature of the other party's work, time cannot be freely controlled, plus she is an actress herself, and she needs to fly everywhere.
Therefore, they were often separated from each other and could not keep each other day by day, but Shen Aojun could clearly feel that his feelings did not see their strengths, but they were increasing day by day. But at the same time, the realistic distance and test also made her, who lacked a sense of security, fall into confusion and confusion.
She is afraid of repeating the same mistakes, and she is also worried that the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment, so she has a feeling of withdrawal and has not contacted the other party for a long time.
Until one time, when recording "Super Visit", talking about emotional experiences, Li Jing said to her: "Sometimes happiness is not far away, maybe it is at the bend of the intersection, and someone said to you: You follow me." ”
Inadvertent relief, a word to wake up the dreamer. Because her boyfriend also said something similar to her: "Don't be afraid, feel free to boldly hand it to me, follow me, and I will take you to find the solid life you want." ”
At that moment, she recalled the time spent together, the little bits that her boyfriend paid for her, and suddenly felt that hesitation might make her miss true love, so, on the show, she immediately called her boyfriend and said: "Let's get married." ”
In this way, in May 2009, the two formed a family after a simple but complete wedding.
Today, the two have walked hand in hand for 13 years, from the world of two to a family of three, still happy and sweet.
Throughout Shen Aojun's emotional experience, from encountering emotional injuries, adjusting and recovering, to meeting true love, fearing loss, and then escaping alienation and harvesting happiness.
When she faces her feelings, her inner ups and downs are actually a microcosm of the psychological changes of many people who have suffered emotional injuries, which is very representative.
In reality, some people, after experiencing a breakup, dare not enter a new relationship, even if they start a new relationship, they are prone to fall into the mood of gain and loss.
There are only two reasons: fear.
Afraid of experiencing bad emotional experiences again, so use the way of escape to face the inner contradictions that cannot be solved. Just like Shen Aojun, he knew that he had met the right person, but because of the distance problem, he chose not to contact the way to deal with feelings coldly.
However, while masking pain with alienated emotions, one also loses the experience of love.
As the psychologist Chen Haixian said: "The screen of emotions is like a glass cover, and when it is covered, it will isolate itself from the world." People don't feel pain, and they don't feel happy. When people do not feel the pain of loss, they do not feel love. ”
In fact, people who avoid problems suppress sadness and fear in their hearts, they are not "seen", and they cannot be released, which will make people numb, indifferent, and even lose the ability to love.
It can be seen that the practice of using alienation to avoid being hurt again will not get true love, but only deceives oneself.
Therefore, when encountering problems, instead of avoiding alienation, it is better to face them bravely and adjust your mentality. Look at things from another angle, and maybe everything can be solved.
When encountering problems, change the mentality in time, and the feelings will go more and more smoothly.
I'm @ Monday Sauce, a girl who wants to drive a caravan to the end of the world, may we be friends [send heart]
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