Insomnia can't sleep, think of TA tears, this is not you? Delete the contact information, but secretly look at the dynamics of the rape TA, is this you? Whether to break off the connection, whether there is a need to find an ex, in fact, there is no absolute answer. Especially the old irons who have fake breakups, we must polish their eyes and do not make their love disappear alive. Next, we will focus on what to do if we find friends who have definitely not had good results in their predecessors.
Recall the next moment of the TA
I know that every time you can't help but look for him, all that comes to mind are those sweet moments. Holding hands, hugging, everything about the hot love period. But doing so will only make you addicted to the past and difficult to get out of the shadow of separation. So, let's do the opposite.
Whenever you think of him, you focus on recalling his flaws and the things that make you unbearable. For example, he never bought you a gift and always couldn't remember your birthday and taboo. For example, he has been borrowing money from you since the ambiguous period, and he has not said anything about repaying it so far. For example, he is always ambiguous with other members of the opposite sex, and you remind him many times that he will still go his own way.
Come a few more times and you'll be able to remove the filter of love, look at the relationship rationally, and even find the real reason why you're apart. But don't blame the other party for all the reasons. When you are immersed in the victim's mind and can't extricate yourself, it is even more difficult to let go of the other person. Moreover, the more you think about it, the more angry you get! You may wish to take a small book to record it, which can ensure that it is as objective as possible and can also see each change.
Find channels to vent your emotions
It is very normal to miss someone in particular, especially when experiencing setbacks, and want to be comforted and cared for again. If you deny or suppress your emotions, you will fall into a vicious circle. It's like a small child who is bullied and goes home crying, but instead of comforting him, his parents scold him loudly. So what do you think will happen to children? Will you dry your tears and become strong? No, he would only avoid communicating with his parents in the future, hiding alone and crying secretly.
So, don't force yourself to stop missing, fighting with your emotions will only increase your internal friction. You can find something else to distract from your emotions when they strike, and slowly vent your emotions. Take a chestnut, you can watch a touching movie and cry bitterly.
Simulate a chat scenario
If you really can't hold back, I suggest you use this trick: open a number, change the information to the other party, and pretend to be chatting with the TA. When switching to the other person's point of view, you can imitate the tone of the other party and say a few more harsh words. It's a painful process, but believe me, after you've experienced sadness and disappointment, you'll be more yearning for your future life than you are for the past. Whenever you scratch your heart and scratch your liver and can't help but want to contact the other person, tell yourself: "This person, I don't want it." ”
Write in the last words
The most important thing for people to live in the world is to have the ability to love people, not to be loved. If you still want to be with them, the really effective way is to survive those nights of wanting to find each other, and seize this opportunity to think and change. After going through this, you get better from the inside out, and then let him sincerely accept you again.
- The End -
Author | Yellow chestnut Ye
Consultant of the First Psychological Writing Group | Senior Emotional Mentor | Best-selling columnist on the internet