Text/Jiang Yan
"Lost in Xi'an" is undeniably borrowed from the title of "Lost in Tokyo".
Lost in Tokyo is the story of an old man and a young woman who are attracted to each other because of loneliness, and finally find their faith in the infinite possibilities hidden in life.
The content of "Lost Xi'an" has nothing to do with it, nor does it have its avant-garde, writing a confusing search journey of urban young men and women, a story of self-redemption.
But the completion of this novel is simply overwhelming.
The novel was first written in the spring of 2009, and was also serialized in the literary forums of more than ten well-known websites in China, and the homepage of many websites such as China Business Network was highly recommended. However, the loaded poop was exhausted, and halfway through the writing, it stopped completely.
I want to write it as a mundane reminiscence like "Play is a Heartbeat", like the avant-garde confusion of "Brown Birds", and the poignant beauty of "The Great Gatsby".
The three forces wrestled in my mind, and it was difficult to distinguish between them. Poor me Chinese words like the rebel army that lost the commander, fighting wildly but never being able to take the road out. This made my ideation journey extremely arduous.
Due to overthinking, my headache began to worsen, and I couldn't help but worry that I would be "caught in the fire" because of it. Often, I turn on the computer and can't write a word. As far as my eye could see, it was a dazzling blank, and it hurt my eyes.
I was frustrated that I judged from this that I would not become a good novelist.
Fortunately, time is available.
I waited like Godot for the day when the manuscript was finished. Thankfully, it finally arrived late.
At the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, in the long night waiting for the start of the 2:30 a.m. match, I suddenly came to the desire to finish writing, like a tidal wave rushing and unable to receive it.
On many nights this summer, I saw my favorite teams leave, I saw big names do nothing, and I saw nameless players rising to the top. I saw someone lost and someone excited.
Unfortunately, it still could not be concluded, and when it reached 3/4 of the whole book, it was stopped again.
Inspiration came to an abrupt halt after the World Cup, and it has been eight years.
In the past eight years, I have written many other novels, "No. 6 Car to the End" was published and republished, and ten short stories were also collected into "If Time Can't Stay" and published, only this "Lost Xi'an" was sealed in the word file on the computer and has been forgotten.
But I can't stop there. She is like a twilight beauty, expecting people to lift their hijabs.
Eight years, the dead are like this.
The literary forums we often go to are quietly closed under the impact of mobile phone new media, and there are few left, which makes people sigh infinitely.
All I could do was keep reading and reading again, trying to find answers in the book.
Among the writers I read, Haruki Murakami counted as one, and his novel, "The Disappearance of the Elephant", was read three times, and "Listen to the Wind" five times. Reading is similar to the girl you date, and to be able to get to the fifth time, you must really like it.
In "Listen to the Wind", he mentions one of the american non-famous writers he admired most, Hartfeld, and contains a quote from Hartfeld on literature.
"To engage in the work of writing articles, we must first confirm the distance between ourselves and the things around us, and what is needed is not sensibility, but scale."
How well said that sentence. I finally found a strong sense of identity.
"What is needed is not sensibility, but scale." I started to revise drastically, almost to the point of starting over.
I sat at the desk on the 22nd floor of the studio, hitting keys like a fly, the plot was like a tidal wave, and the characters in the story came like old friends, which was particularly intimate.
When he meets Junchu, it seems that the deceased has returned.
At that time, it was late spring, and looking around, the South Mountain was as beautiful as an eyebrow, and the silver light of the tip of the TV station not far away was shining. Flocks of pigeons often visit outside the window, and one or two often stop on the windowsill, and when there is a slight movement, they fly away and make a beautiful arc in the air.
There is also a song, an episode of Stephen Chow's "Exorcism" looped on the computer:
Yesterday and today the past will not come back / red face falls color pale / once upon a time until now love is still / willing to wait for you to drift / white clouds outside ...
Inexplicable emotions are just like the state of mind of a once lost youth.
In the materialistic urban jungle, will you get lost in that moment? The theme of "Lost Xi'an" was only clear at the last moment of the draft, and the confusing search journey was actually a self-redemption! By peeling back the cocoon layer by layer, at the last moment we know that the purity of the soul is precious.
Finally, I have to mention Hartfeld again.
Under the guidance of his "distance theory", "Lost xi'an" was finally completed. In addition to the title of the book, I have been hesitant to change it to "Lost in the Days of Youth".
I was grateful to him and searched around for his information. Until the end, I learned that Haruki Murakami's countless works of Hartfeld were actually characters he invented in the novel! It has been confirmed that no such person was identified. Naturally, his exposition of the "sense of distance" of literature is also illusory.
hehe.
But I'm still willing to believe in this "distance theory": "What is needed is not sensibility, but scale." ”
The most appropriate distance in the world is not a thousand miles, nor is it a matter of time.
I don't know the distance of this novel, is it too much or not?
I would like to pursue it with you.