Stills of Kim Dae-ban
"The Last Night of Jin Daban" is a short story published by Bai Xianyong in 1968, included in "TaipeiEr".
The novel tells the story of Jin Zhaoli, a dancer with a style of the first generation, on her last night at the Paris Ballroom in Ximending, Taipei.
The next day, in her early forties, she will marry Chen Farong, the owner of nanyang in her sixties.
The whole novel uses a thick and indissoluble sentimental brushstroke to intertwine jin daban's current and past consciousnesses and memories through time and space, describing the real life of dancers in an era, the epitome of love, and the devastation of real fate that has been struggling for decades.
Can't go back to the past
Yuguanyin Jin Zhaoli, once a gold medal dancer at Shanghai Paramount, was described as "the reincarnation of the Nine Heavenly Yao Female White Tiger Star and came to the Huangpu beach to disturb the human world."
The turmoil of the times forced her to come to Taipei at night in Paris and become the gold medal foreman. Although at this time, she is also mixed up, the gap in reality will still remind her of the glorious past.
In the face of Tong Dehuai's complaints, she will strike back sharply: On the last night of today, I came, it was human feelings, not coming, it was my duty. Let me say something you don't like to hear: When I went to the sea at The Paramount gate in Shanghai, I was afraid that you would not even cross the threshold of the dance hall.
It is not good to say, the toilet in paramount is only afraid that it is more spacious than the dance floor in Paris at night, and Tong Dehuai's face in the paramount pit may not have his share.
When Xiao Ruyi Xiao Hongmei flattered her to marry Chen Farong, her heart was full of disdain: Where did that little prostitute see the days before? What kind of posture? In Shanghai that year, people who fell under her jade Guanyin skirt, like Chen Farong's little foundation, pulled up their toes and couldn't count it!
When Zhu Feng came to her with a big belly, she would angrily scold her for not being able to support the wall with mud, lament the effort he had spent on her, see her, and remember that he had also been like her, when he had not experienced the three years of life, when she was also young, she also wanted to leave a son and a half daughter for the moon she loved, and she fought hard, and finally could not love because of the disparity in status.
The infinite scenery of that year, the drunken fans of that year, and the recklessness of that year will become the past on the last night of Paris, whether you like it or not, these twenty years of groping will disappear in the torrent of time.
Those who love and be loved
Although the wind and moon field is more of a scene, Jin Zhaoli's life has experienced love and has also experienced being loved. Even if you finally choose the real thing as your final destination, it is still a kind of consummation.
When she was young, she loved, loved Yueru wholeheartedly, she was pregnant for him, desperate to give birth to the child, but still secretly beat by mu ma, love can not be, she hanged, swallow gold, looking for death and life. But she couldn't die at all, and after life and death, she put away her true heart and became sober in the world. With the style of a lifetime, it becomes a lone flower in the sea of iniquity.
In middle age, she met a person who truly loved her, Qin Xiong. He was six or seven years younger than her, and his eyes were full of her, and wherever he went, he would give her what he thought was good. He told her to wait a few years, and when he made a little more money, he would come back and marry her.
It's just that she has already recognized herself in front of reality, and she can't afford to wait, and she can't live that kind of tight life. What she pursues is no longer the love between you and me.
If she had met such an obsessive man as Qin Xiong ten years ago, maybe she would have really married. Ten years ago, she still had a lot of gold and silver treasures, and at that time she was also looking for someone who was sincere to her.
At that time, she still looked down on the dancers around her who had already compromised like fate, and she ridiculed them: I am not hungry like you, and I will hold a coffin board one by one.
Reality consumed her last bit of arrogance: a forty-year-old woman could not wait. Forty-year-old women have no time to fall in love. Forty-year-old women – even real men can be dispensed with.
And between her and the sixty-year-old Chen Farong, it is nothing more than taking what they need. Jin Zhaoli's beauty brought him some old dignity, and Chen Farong's money brought her the stability of life.
In the face of time, Jin Zhaoli cannot choose, and in the face of love, Jin Zhaoli is powerless to choose. She could only choose the path that was in her favor for the moment.
The deep sense of powerlessness to reality is filled with Bai Xianyong's pen. There are always the past that we can't go back to, there are always factors that we can't control in reality, so how to make the most correct choice in reality, how to make your choice become correct, this is the proposition we should think about the most.