In the early morning of March 26, 2007, Yang Qinji, who was nearly seventy years old, committed suicide at The Star Ferry Pier in Hong Kong.
In order to let his daughter chase the stars, this old man who did not hesitate to go away from home and sell his house and cut his kidneys looked at the hotel where his daughter was staying not far away at the last moment of his life.
He was reluctant to his family, but he really couldn't think of any good way to make his daughter continue to chase the stars, after thinking for a long time, Yang Qinji chose to jump into the sea and use his own old life to win the last chance for his daughter.
In China, which emphasizes "the dead are great", this is the fiercest support he can make as a father to help his daughter realize her dreams.
With reluctance and expectations, Yang Qinji jumped into the sea without hesitation, leaving a full 7 pages of suicide note, which was full of dissatisfaction and accusations against Andy Lau.
At the end of the suicide note, he wrote: "Andy Lau, you still have to see the last side of our children, this is what I exchanged for death, if you don't see, I will not be blinded by death, and it is intolerable to heaven." ”
Yang Qinji succeeded, but he also failed.
His suicide caused a huge shock in Hong Kong, and countless media poured in, pushing Andy Lau to the cusp of the storm and becoming the target of public criticism overnight.
However, in the face of surging doubts, Andy Lau still refused to meet with Yang Lijuan, and he held a press conference, leaving only one sentence: "Everyone should not feel that she needs help."
This farce finally ended with both sides paying a tragic price, because of this incident, the cheerful Andy Lau finally suffered from depression, and Yang Lijuan maintained the "dream of chasing stars" for 13 years, and it was completely broken.
Few people know that the reason why Yang Lijuan will be fond of Andy Lau stems from a dream she made.
One thought to become a Buddha, one thought to become a demon, because of this dream, Yang Lijuan embarked on a road of no return, the former complete and happy family fell apart, because of her willfulness, she lost her father who loved her, and the long life after the age of 29, only endless repentance remained.
And now, 15 years later, how is she doing?
<h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" > an elderly woman, a sudden dream</h1>
In 1978, Yang Lijuan was born into an ordinary family in Agan Town, Lanzhou, where her father, Yang Qinji, was a teacher and her mother was a housewife.
When Yang Lijuan was born, Yang Qinji was more than 40 years old, nearly half a hundred years old to get a noble daughter, for this father, the daughter is his treasure.
Once Agan Town was rich in coal, people from the north and south of the world, have gathered in this town, lively, and by the time Yang Lijuan was born, Agan Town has begun to go downhill, coal resources are depleted at the same time, but also take away the vitality of the town.
In order to let his daughter have a good growth environment, Yang Qinji, who works in Agan Town, did not hesitate to move his family to Lanzhou City, spending more than two hours a day to travel between the two places, although it was hard, but when he thought of his lovely daughter, he felt that his efforts were worth it.
For many parents who have children in their later years, doting on their children seems to have become the norm, and Yang Qinji and his wife are no exception.
At that time, Yang Qinji's salary was not very high, and he could only barely maintain the life of a family, but he had no spare money, but he was responsive to his daughter's needs, as long as Yang Lijuan wanted something, he would try his best to buy it, and if he couldn't afford it, he would steal it.
As her daughter grew up, Yang Qinji's doting on her did not decrease, but became more and more serious.
It is said that when Yang Lijuan washed her feet every night, Yang Qinji would bring her foot washing water, put the basin on her head, and coax her daughter to wash her feet like a eunuch serving the emperor.
Until Yang Lijuan was 20 years old, Yang Qinji still bathed her.
The idea of "daughter is heaven" has long been deeply rooted in the hearts of Yang Qinji and his wife, for this couple, even if what the two do is not in line with the way of children's education, or even against common sense, but as long as the daughter is happy, everything does not matter.
Yang Qinji did not understand the principle of "habitual children like killing children", and under his doting again and again, Yang Lijuan became a cruel and willful girl.
Yang Qinji and his wife are not the only parents who dot on their children, according to the normal plot development, Yang Lijuan's life will continue to be "happy" until her parents grow old and are sighed.
However, a sudden dream changed all this.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-center-line" > dreams are desires that drive people crazy</h1>
Dreams are born from the heart, which is both desire and obsession.
One night in 1994, 16-year-old Yang Lijuan had a dream in which a painting appeared of a very handsome man, and the painting was flanked by a sentence: "You are particularly close to me, and you and I have a true encounter." ”
In jasper's adolescence, such a seemingly strange dream is more like a fantasy at this age, but Yang Lijuan does not think so, and she stubbornly believes that this is a sign of heaven.
From this day on, that dream-like figure became Yang Lijuan's lingering obsession.
The dream was born from the heart, because of excessive imagination, and in the many nights that followed, she dreamed of the handsome man countless times.
By chance, on the poster taken out by her classmates, Yang Lijuan saw the familiar figure, and she suddenly realized: it turned out that her dream lover was named Andy Lau.
At that time, Yang Lijuan did not know who Andy Lau was, but this did not hinder her yearning and desire for this figure under repeated dreams.
Later, Yang Lijuan told her parents about this matter, she thought she would be said to be whimsical, but unexpectedly, her father said that he had the same dream.
Whether Yang Qinji's words are real coincidences or deliberate flattery, no one knows, but there is no doubt that because of his words, Yang Lijuan had the dream of meeting Andy Lau.
She said: "I don't see Andy Lau, I will never marry." ”
For Yang Qinji, who loves his daughter as his life, Yang Lijuan's vow is tantamount to asking for his old life, in order to let his daughter realize her dream, he began to fully support Yang Lijuan's crazy star-chasing behavior.
Yang Lijuan stubbornly believes that the reason why she dreamed of Andy Lau is because the two have long been destined. But in fact, this so-called "Andy Lau" is just a virtual character imagined by her parents.
Even if andy Lau was not seen on the poster that day, there would be other handsome male stars who would be regarded as their dream lover by Yang Lijuan, and in the end, she was just to rationalize her desires.
Unfortunately, Yang Lijuan did not realize this at that time, and with the support of her father, she began to drop out of school, locked herself in the house, did not interact with the outside world, and broke off contact with friends.
Yang Lijuan regards Andy Lau, whom she has never met, as her spiritual sustenance, and looks at the posters and tapes of Andy Lau in the room every day, fantasizing about the "happy life" of the two.
For such a crazy move of their daughter, Yang Qinji and his wife not only did not oppose, but spared no effort to support her.
Over time, Yang Lijuan was no longer satisfied with one-sided lovesickness, and she began to have more crazy ideas, eager to meet the real Andy Lau.
Without accident, Yang Qinji and his wife agreed, and Yang Lijuan's madness was like an "infectious disease", breeding on the whole family.
If Heaven wants to destroy it, it must first make it crazy, and the tragedy is already doomed from this moment on.
< h1 class = "pgc-h-center-line" > go to the abyss in the name of love</h1>
Life is like an equation, the more you desire, the more you don't get it, the more you expect, the greater the disappointment.
After many years, people no longer know whether Yang Qinji really believes that his daughter and Andy Lau have a destined relationship, or whether he blindly dotes on his daughter and builds a "fairy tale world" for her.
But it is undeniable that behind Yang Lijuan's various crazy star-chasing behaviors, it is this elderly father who is silently paying the bill.
In order to support his daughter's star chasing, Yang Qinji, who served as the only senior teacher in the school and received a monthly pension of 2,050 yuan, retired four years in advance. The family took only 9900 yuan of savings and began to accompany Yang Lijuan to look for Andy Lau around the country.
They first came to Beijing, then to Shanghai, and as long as there was news of Andy Lau's attendance at the event, Yang Lijuan and her parents ran to wherever they went, but in the end they had nothing.
On the other hand, the high cost of eating, drinking, housing and traveling has made Yang Qinji, who already has little budget at hand, quickly become poor.
The news of "Yang Lijuan's crazy star chasing" gradually spread to the outside world, and every time someone asked her to pay so much for the star chase, was it worth it? Yang Lijuan will deny it, saying that she is not chasing stars, it is a kind of love.
And Yang Qinji also defended her daughter in her suicide note, believing that Yang Lijuan was not a fan or a fan, but simply regarded Andy Lau as a family.
The most terrible thing in life is to do hurtful things in the name of love.
In 1997, the penniless Yang Qinji borrowed 11,000 yuan of usurious loans, came to Beijing again with his daughter, and then went to Hong Kong, but still could not see Andy Lau.
During that time, Yang Lijuan took a daily report about Andy Lau, studied every place where he might appear, and quickly rushed to her destination.
In the end, the borrowed money ran out, but no one saw it, and the family was in a terrible state and could only return to their hometown in Lanzhou.
At this time, Yang Lijuan has long forgotten the dilemma at home, she has not experienced the hardships of her parents, ignored the crisis under the debt, and even regarded Yang Qinji and his wife as a tool to realize her dreams.
She said to her parents: "You don't care about my business now, and when I follow Andy Lau, naturally I won't care about you." ”
Complex thoughts of doting and being threatened flooded the minds of the two old men, forcing them to make even more crazy moves.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" > pay everything, a sudden turnaround</h1>
When all the neglected scourges "explode" together, the ending is always so sad and tragic.
In 2003, because of early retirement, Yang Qinji lost his financial resources, in order to continue to let his daughter chase the stars, he sold his only house, and the family lived in a cheap rental house.
In 2004, Andy Lau came to Gansu for filming "No Thief in the World", which was the closest Yang Lijuan was to her dream, and for a whole year, she stood on the balcony on the 8th floor of her apartment every day, looking into the distance, eager to see Andy Lau in this way.
But dreams are always just dreams, and they don't become reality because they are close to reality.
Yang Lijuan's obsession with finding Andy Lau has not been extinguished, but the money from selling the house has been reduced with the passage of time until it is completely wiped out.
Yang Qinji had no choice, he sold everything he could sell to maintain his life. However, the blessing is incomparable, the disaster is not alone, Yang Lijuan's mother was smashed by a heavy object because of an accident.
Just when the family was completely desperate, Yang Qinji's wife put forward her own suggestion: "Let the husband sell his kidneys and continue to support his daughter to chase the stars." ”
Unexpectedly, such a strange idea was recognized by Yang Qinji, and this sad father really sold one of his kidneys and publicized it to the outside world.
This year, the news of "the father selling the kidney for his daughter to chase the star" spread throughout the country, and countless media flocked to the yang Qinji family to explore the secrets.
In the face of the world's curiosity and persuasion, Yang Qinji not only did not wake up, but began to show off his "spoiled daughter behavior", he said: "Even if I only have one kidney, I can live, and the money can help my daughter to see Andy Lau in Hong Kong." ”
Everything Yang Qinji did with his life was only exchanged for Yang Lijuan's words: "Hope or loan, sell kidneys to hurt the body." ”
It is sad and sad to do this for a father, perhaps heaven can't bear to see this scene, and things have finally turned around.
In 2007, with the help of the media, Yang Lijuan's family went to Hong Kong.
Before leaving, Yang Qinji handed over all his "treasures" to his friends for safekeeping, including household registration books, photos of his daughter when she was a child, and award certificates...
These things, which seem worthless to outsiders, are regarded by Yang Qinji as treasures, representing his love for his daughter.
Perhaps, from this moment on, Yang Qinji was already mentally prepared to "become a benevolent person if he did not succeed".
<h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" > the last straw, and both sides lose</h1>
It is not the last straw that overwhelms the camel, but every straw on it.
Yang Lijuan, who reached Hong Kong, met Andy Lau at a singer's meeting, and the dream she had been pursuing for 13 years had finally come true at this moment, even if it was only for a short period of ten seconds.
However, desire is like a bottomless pit that forces the lost to be greedy.
Yang Lijuan believes that she should not belong only to fans and singers in Andy Lau's heart, the two must be treated with a special relationship, so Yang Qinji asked Andy Lau to "meet alone with her daughter" in an interview.
Such an unreasonable and unrealistic request was naturally rejected, and Yang Lijuan angrily returned to the hotel. On this day, no one knew what the family discussed in the room, but in the early morning of the next day, Yang Qinji, 68, committed suicide.
He left the "Andy Lau, who do you think you are" swastika, which ended his life at The Star Ferry Pier in Hong Kong.
At that time, no one would have thought that this poor father who sold his kidney to support his daughter's star chasing would finally try to win a glimmer of hope for Yang Lijuan in such a sad way.
Years later, when people recall this tragedy again, it is not difficult to find that all this is actually doomed.
Yang Lijuan's wayward star chasing, let the father step by step lose the conditions for survival, first early retirement, and then sell the house, sell the kidney, Yang Qinji spent all the money on his body, if he failed to realize his daughter's dream, even if he returned to his hometown, it would be difficult to survive.
It can be said that before arriving in Hong Kong, Yang Qinji had no way back, so he did not hesitate to use moral kidnapping to force Andy Lau to see his daughter with his own life.
Yang Qinji is full of thoughts about helping his daughter realize her dreams, but he forgets that after Yang Lijuan meets Andy Lau, will she make more unreasonable demands? No one can be sure of this.
Because of Yang Qinji's suicide, Andy Lau was overwhelmed by public opinion, and later, he once exposed himself: because of this incident, many fans began to imitate Yang Lijuan, calling to force them to die, just to see their own side.
Under various pressures, Andy Lau was forced to cancel many concerts and fan meetings, and even suffered from depression and saw many psychologists.
The evil flower of inner desire has the evil fruit of both defeats and injuries.
But the matter did not end here, and the sentence in Yang Qinji's suicide note: "I am dead, Andy Lau still has to see our children", has become the follow-up to this tragedy.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-center-line" > obsession into emptiness, tears for dreams</h1>
Mo Dao's dreams are prosperous, and when he wakes up, he is empty.
After the death of her father, Yang Lijuan not only did not wake up, but took the 20,000 yuan donated by Yang Chengang with her mother and continued to go to Hong Kong to ask for Andy Lau.
Only this time, her reasons changed, from realizing her dreams to her father's last wishes.
Yang Lijuan, who suffered the pain of losing her father, even proposed to Ask Andy Lau to pay tribute to Yang Qinji.
Her unreasonable request was once again rejected.
Yang Lijuan had nowhere to vent her grief and turned her anger to Andy Lau and the media.
On the one hand, on the grounds that "and Andy Lau wasted a lot of youth", she filed a lawsuit with the court, demanding that Andy Lau compensate herself 300,000 yuan;
On the other hand, she also believes that the media has denigrated the image of her family, and also filed a lawsuit for compensation.
Both lawsuits were eventually dismissed by the court.
After that, Yang Lijuan returned to her hometown in Lanzhou with her mother, she burned up her treasured posters and records, washed her face with tears all day, did not dare to go out to meet people, and wrote confession letters to Yang Qinji from time to time.
Unfortunately, the father who had loved her the most could never see this scene again.
Every possible means will eventually become empty, all kinds of attachments will turn into nothingness, and the desire hidden under love for more than ten years will finally disappear, leaving endless regret and disappointment.
Since then, Yang Lijuan has stopped giving any interviews and disappeared from the sea of people.
In 2014, Yang Lijuan appeared in the variety show "Oriental Live Room", and the theme of that issue was called "Crazy Fans".
After years of not seeing, Yang Lijuan has a little more maturity and reason, she stood on the podium and cried, using herself as an example to persuade the audience not to learn her way of chasing stars, because he is not worth it.
This interview is more like a farewell, Yang Lijuan is saying goodbye to her past self, saying goodbye to the dream that was once obsessed with it. After her father's death, she reflected on herself countless times and understood how absurd the original star-chasing behavior was.
Unfortunately, until this moment, Yang Lijuan still harbored a deep resentment towards Andy Lau, and time did not allow her to learn to let go.
In order to support his daughter's star chasing, Yang Qinji once borrowed a usurious loan of 11,000 yuan, and later, an anonymous kind person helped Yang Lijuan repay this debt.
She did not know that this kind person was Andy Lau.
Once Yang Lijuan, crazy for the dream, step by step to the abyss of family destruction, but now, she shed tears for the dream, because only in the dream, she can see the father's loving face.
< h1 class= "pgc-h-center-line" > a yellow sorghum dream, a non-turning head</h1>
At the end of 2019, Yang Lijuan was interviewed by Lu Yu and appeared on "Yu See Later".
At the age of 42, when she reappears in front of the camera, there is a calm in her eyes that is difficult for ordinary people to touch.
Losing the protection of her father, over the years, Yang Lijuan has suffered a lot, because of the low education, she can not find a good job, can only work as a shopping guide in the supermarket, with a salary of 2,000 yuan a month.
During this period, there were also many well-meaning people who wanted to help her, but for various reasons, they did not achieve it in the end.
Yang Lijuan said: "I am very satisfied with my current life, although the salary is not high, but it is enough to maintain a life with my mother, and the colleagues around me do not look at me with prejudice." ”
After all the hardships of the world, she has successfully transformed, although this transformation comes at a heavy price, but it is already a blessing in misfortune.
In the show, Yang Lijuan admitted her mistake frankly, she said: "I ignored my parents' feelings at the time, and let them carry too much for me, both financially and mentally. ”
Yang Qinji's ashes were sprinkled into the Yellow River by Yang Lijuan, and every year on the Qingming Festival, she would go to pay tribute to her father on time and whisper her heart: "Daddy, my daughter has grown up, I will work hard to live and take care of my mother, I regret it, please forgive me." ”
Today, Yang Lijuan and her mother live in a low-cost house, one room and one living room, simple and tidy, and in the past few years, she has cut off most of her contact with the outside world and begun to believe in Christianity, praying every Wednesday.
"If life could be repeated, of course I said I wouldn't do that."
After saying these words, Yang Lijuan calmly looked into the distance, regret and relief slowly appeared on her face, it seemed that at this moment, she had completed a long life.
At the end of the show, Yang Lijuan, who had never taken the initiative to ask questions, couldn't help but ask a question:
"In the past ten years, there have been so many people who have watched the news, has anyone really cared about my specific life after seeing the news, and asked her if she is okay now?"
15 years is too long, how easy is it to get the public to remember a stranger?
Lu Yu was silent for a long time and said cautiously, "Curiosity is also a kind of concern." ”
She understood that Yang Lijuan still longed for the care and remembrance of others, and her story was not strictly speaking a farce, but a tragedy.
The cause of all this misfortune, of course, is yang Lijuan's own willfulness, but more of a fault is the doting and connivance of her parents.
Parenting without teaching, parents' fault.
From childhood to adulthood, she has been immersed in the fairy tale world constructed by Yang Qinji and his wife, and normal desires have been infinitely magnified until she completely lost herself.
The "beautiful dream" made by Yang Lijuan is not caused by her parents?
It is always a yellow sorghum dream, right or wrong turn to the empty, may Yang Lijuan's rest of life, happy and happy.