Granddaughter Tilda: How does it feel to forget everything?
Grandpa Amandus: Amandus is like honey entering the brain, all glued together.
Honey in your Head is a film written and directed by Till Schweiger, released in Germany on December 25, 2014. As a small number of unpopular films, the number of people marked on Douban is less than three thousand, but with only a Douban score of 8.0 points, it can be seen that this is indeed a classic good film. The film tells the story of Amandus, who is suffering from Alzheimer's disease, and his granddaughter Tilda, who is only 10 years old, and the quiet story happens. The father wanted to send the grandfather with Alzheimer's disease to the nursing home, and after Tilda found out, he used a trip to Venice with the grandfather to find memories, blocking the father's decision, and the family's misunderstandings and contradictions were solved. The film takes the child's perspective, and Tilda watches his grandfather transform into a child and watches him forget everyone. It tells about Alzheimer's disease in the eyes of children and depicts the family relationship of three generations of grandchildren.
The film tells a sad story in the guise of comedy, and it is also the film that allows parents, children, grandchildren to think about each other's relationships and differences of values from different perspectives.
In my opinion, it seems that the perspective of family affection alone is not enough to appreciate the charm of this movie. After watching this movie, I have been thinking deeply and examining it, and I feel that this journey is a reconciliation journey for both Tilda and Amandus's grandchildren and Tilda's parents. In fact, whether it is family affection, love or self-growth, we all need to see the reconciliation after that.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >01 Reconciliation of the couple's relationship: an unusual "family search" journey in which they complete the reconciliation of the intimate relationship</h1>
If you look at this film simply from the relationship between grandfather and grandson, you cannot fully understand the true connotation of the film. In addition to the bright line of father-son relationship, there are more things behind the comedy of "Honey in the Brain" that are worth digging into, including the way three generations get along, and even the way the daughter-in-law and the father-in-law get along.
(1) Reconciliation between Sarah and Nick
The film begins with a straight face, showing us a scene where Sarah strongly opposes Nick taking her father-in-law with Alzheimer's disease to live with her, but Nick insists on taking his father over, and the two are angry. When Amandus arrived, the whole room was messed up by him, and the contradictions between the husband and wife were further intensified. Sarah asks Nick to take his father to see him, but Nick refuses, and their relationship is in crisis. After Nick inadvertently cheated on his boss, Nick cheated on him once out of revenge.
It seems to me that Nick and his wife have never figured out what is wrong with their marriage, and of course they still love each other deeply, and Nick wants Sarah's understanding, so he insists on his ideas again and again. Even when he accidentally learned that Sarah was with her boss, he chose to use the same method to get revenge on his wife instead of filing for divorce. After getting his wife angry and returning to her mother's house, he took the initiative to pick her up and take her home.
It wasn't until the couple learned of the disappearance of their father and daughter and embarked on a journey to find their father and daughter that they realized the importance of family together. When he refused to let Nick take his father to live with him, this was not done properly, and after his father came, he often could not tolerate his father and shouted at his father. The two have gone through many difficulties and have never found their father and daughter, and the two embraced each other in the hotel, I think, this is not only a journey to find relatives, but also a journey to find feelings.
At the end of the film, the family lives happily together, because of the reconciliation of Sarah and Nick, a small member of the family is added, and Tilda has a younger brother. It was this trip that allowed Nick to see Sarah's difficulties. He once refused to communicate with his wife and blindly controlled each other with love. He understood that everyone is an independent individual, every individual should be complete, love is not to let go of the demand and control, love is not insisting on transforming each other, to retaliate against each other, but to accept and respect.
In my opinion, without this journey, Nick may face a failed marriage, will not understand where the failure is, and may live a lifetime between reluctance and hate. The film ends with a happy ending, for Nick, to be reconciled with Sarah, they have reached a real reconciliation, and in the future, they can also become a better version of themselves.
(2) Reconciliation between mother Sarah and daughter Tilda
In addition to Sarah's relationship with Nick, the film also implies the parent-child relationship between Sarah and her daughter Tilda, a relationship full of contradictions.
In the first half of the film, Tilda argues with her mother all the time, and even directly fights with her mother because her mother does not like her grandfather. Tilda distances herself from her mother because she hates her grandfather, and thinks her is selfish and heartless. When her mother offered to send her grandfather to a nursing home, she was the first to refuse.
When she learned that her parents were going to send her grandfather to a nursing home without her knowledge, she plotted to take him to Venice, Italy, where her grandfather and grandmother met, and she thought so, and she did. The sense of boundary between parents and children determines the happiness index of the family, and only by accepting their children to grow up and respecting them is their independent existence can we see the true growth of children. Giving children the right to choose is the choice of visionary parents.
The young Tilda thinks that Grandpa is very cute, but it is easy to forget things, and she also has insight into whether Grandpa needs to go to the hospital or nursing home but the love and companionship of his family. The trip opened the knot between mother and daughter, and after this tortuous search for relatives, Sarah finally discovered that her daughter had grown up and realized her mistakes. The knot between mother and daughter was thus opened.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > 02 Reconciliation with oneself: Behind this "journey of searching for relatives" is the self-growth of women and the reconciliation of their relationship with themselves</h1>
The film is full of warmth and love from beginning to end, using the form of comedy to show the core of tragedy, and can better appreciate the true meaning of life. If you taste it carefully, you will find different levels of deep meaning. In addition to love and affection, we can also understand the heroine Sarah's self-growth and self-contradiction from rejection to acceptance, from disgust to acceptance, and self-contradiction reconciliation from the film.
The father stole Sarah's honey in his secret base, casually opened the refrigerator to urinate, and put Sarah's high heels in the oven to bake, turning Sarah's summer party into a farce. These behaviors of her father made Sarah unbearable, and her father's arrival turned her into a woman with a small belly and a chicken intestine.
When Sarah yelled at him, he cried like a child who had made a mistake. When Nick went to pick him up to live with him, he repeatedly refused and said, "If you need me, then I'll go." "He just wants to have the feeling of being needed, to feel valued.
Thanks to this tortuous journey, Sarah really understood what was most important. Their daughter was missing, her husband's father was missing, and she realized that she couldn't live without her daughter, and that her husband needed a father. It is precisely because of such a father that she has a husband, a daughter, and a complete family. As a result, the relationship between husband and wife is repaired, and the love and patience are no longer delayed because of work. So it's a journey to find relatives and a journey to grow.
When she saw her daughter and father, she took the initiative to run over and hug them, and at this moment Sarah finally grew up, finally unraveled the contradictions of herself, let go of her resentment towards her father and picked up more care for his family, and once again became herself and lived for herself.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >03 Reconciliation of "father-daughter" relationship:</h1>
After the trip, although the daughter-in-law Sarah initially felt helpless and irritable about the old man's illness, in the continuous contact, she also understood the situation of the old man, and finally accepted the old man with love.
Over time, Amandus's condition became more and more serious, and after consultation with the family, he was sent to a nursing home. Sarah quit her job in order to have more time and to take better care of her father and son. She often took her children to the nursing home to see her father, sometimes taking him out for a walk or taking him to eat his favorite honey cake. Truly tasted blissfully. At this time, Sarah regarded Nick's father as her father, and they became closer family members.
In this environment, Amandus's every day is very pleasant and enjoyable. In the final stages of his life, it can be said that he received unparalleled "hospice care". When he left this world, he was calm and serene.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > concluding remarks:</h1>
A good movie can always bring the audience a little inspiration and philosophy. Although this is an unpopular masterpiece, the number of viewers on Douban is less than 3,000, but it still does not affect the audience's love for it.
The film is full of warmth and love from beginning to end, and Amandas is ill. But from this film, Alzheimer's disease is a very terrible disease, and the patient will gradually forget everything and behave like a child. How to take care of such patients is a very tricky thing. Moreover, the patient's family will be saddled with great mental pressure, and many patient families are at a loss for words. This film may offer a good solution: to respond to change with the same. How to do it before, how to do it now. Everyone gave Amandus the greatest understanding and treated him as a normal person; when Amandus made unusual moves, he also did his best to tolerate. I think this film taught us not only how to deal with illness, but also how to live.