According to the average life expectancy of men in 2021 of 77.3 years, my 58-year-old father is not old, but it is that fathers at this age are becoming more and more like children, which sometimes makes me angry and makes me cry and laugh.
My father raised 3 children, I am the third oldest and the youngest daughter, all say that dad is a daughter slave, but for me at 30 years old, this trait is not obvious, but my father is more obedient and more obedient in my face.
My father, who is tall and slightly majestic in appearance, is afraid of him except for me, and other children of the same age or younger age in the village are afraid of him.
In the Chinese family, the role of the father has always been unsmiling and taciturn, and the relationship with his children is even more serious. Our family was no exception, the father was silent, the mother was nagging.
Among the three brothers and sisters, my father loved me the most, and I was the most courageous, daring to touch the tiger's ass and dare to move the soil on the head of the age. In comparison, the brother and sister are much inferior, listening to the mother, when they were young, the older brothers and sisters did not dare to come to the father for dinner, let alone others.
When he was a child, his family was poor, and his father learned the skills of driving a tractor and repairing cars to make a living.
My father, who drove the tractor, came back from work and lay on the kang while reading a book while resting, while I would ride mischievously on my father's shoulders, hold my father's forehead, awkwardly my barefoot, reach out to my father's nose, and ask my father incoherently: Does it stink?
My father, who had always been majestic, seemed to be accustomed to such behaviors of mine, and even if he was tired and tired, he would not be angry or stop.
From my mother's nagging depictions, I felt my father's pampering and tolerance for me. After crossing the age of standing, I still have a slight impression of these pictures.
My father always loved to read, especially history. When I was in school, my good grades in history stemmed from my father's love of history and historical-themed serials.
When I was a child, I would be reprimanded by my mother for doing wrong things, and if I didn't obey, I would be frightened by my mother and cut off my ears.
Therefore, I was afraid and aggrieved, standing in the courtyard and crying, shouting at my father, and I wanted my father to come back quickly and come back to save me.
At that time, my father was like a big mountain, tall and majestic, and he was a patron and a role model.
The year came and went again and again.
When I grew up, there were three brothers and sisters, only my brother entered the society after graduating from junior high school and became a migrant worker, while my sister and I were admitted to college as desired, and we all successfully joined the work after graduation.
Faced with the situation that the male baby in the family did not study, but the two female babies both went to college, the father and mother endured the suspicion and confusion of many people.
Many years later, I heard my parents talk about my parents in elementary school: basically, my parents did not let their sons study, but instead worked hard to provide for their two daughters. After the daughter's family marries, they are all from other people's families, and they work hard to provide for study, and work to earn money is also for others...
Listening to this remark, I tried to clarify for my parents: it is not that my parents do not provide for my brother, it is that my brother did not enter high school after graduating from junior high school, my father helped find a school for him to repeat, and my brother went for a few days, saying that he did not read anything, so he had my brother's later working life.
I remember the most common words I heard when I was a child: as long as you are willing to read it, no matter how difficult it is, we will provide for it.
So, in an era when the whole family was scrambling to earn a living, my father was the only one who earned money to support the family, while my mother was at home concentrating on cooking for my brothers and sisters and taking care of the crops.
I worked in the county next door to my hometown, and I came home on weekends to help my father and mother do what they could and to discipline their nieces and nephews.
Gradually, I found that my father's temper and personality had also changed a lot in the past two years. Some stubborn are stubborn, and some are stubborn.
My father usually likes to drink with his friends, drinking is a hobby, and as a daughter, I also support several of them to have fun together.
However, in the past two years, the number of drinks with friends has become more and more frequent, like girlfriends, who can't stay without anyone, so the village has a new name for them to drink "Gang of Four".
Every time he drank, my father would get drunk because he didn't eat, and when he came home, he would almost always sit on the sofa and squint to sleep, and he couldn't wake up when he ate, and he didn't go to bed.
When I woke up from sleep, my head was awake, my stomach was hungry, and my mouth was muttering: How did I fall asleep here? I haven't eaten, I'm hungry...
If the father did not get up on time the next day, he was sure that he had a cold. The father will not say anything when he is uncomfortable, nor will he seek the help of other family members, but just buries his head in sleep. If other people care, they will be reprimanded by him, and only when I ask will I answer, and only if I say will I obey.
Such a father sometimes makes me feel a little helpless, not annoyed, mainly because I don't understand these behaviors of my father.
Therefore, I would occasionally receive phone calls from my mother when I was at work, and most of the content conveyed was that my father was uncomfortable, did not say anything and did not answer, and their persuasion was fruitless, so I persuaded my father to seek medical treatment. Sometimes work is so busy that I still have time to call.
Before, my father would answer the phone, I said anything, he was all well, just obediently agreed, as for the result, it was not necessarily "words must be done".
Now, my father has learned not to answer the phone and has learned to "fool" me.
A while ago, after the funeral of a family in the village, my father had a cold. After learning about the situation, I made several phone calls and did not answer, and then I went home to ask him, and I said that he did not answer it when he had a cold. Although I didn't refute it with my mouth, I thought in my heart: I must be afraid that I will say you on the phone.
Every year, my father, who worked hard to drive a semi-trailer, stopped working before the winter ice, one was for safety, and the other was for rest.
It is said that most of the elderly who are not in good health can not survive the cold winter and early spring. This winter is no exception, with one funeral after another in the village. So, my father finished the house, and then he busied himself with this family.
One night I called him, and there was a sound of mahjong colliding and shouting on the other end of the phone, so I asked him: Are you playing mahjong? Father: I didn't fight, I didn't fight. Me: How can there be a mahjong sound? Father: I didn't fight, I watched.
Another time, on the phone call, I obviously heard the sound of drinking and punching, and I said: Are you drinking again? Father said: I did not drink, where am I...
At night with the mother video, see the drunken father sitting in the old position squinting to sleep again.
Seeing this scene, I only felt that I was fooled by my father again, and I was a little angry at the time, but more helpless. It's not against him drinking, it's just that my father is older and wants him to be healthy and eat more.
In an occasional video chat, his father said to his friends through alcohol: He didn't look for me when he called, nor did he look for me. From his few words, I probably felt my father's desire for affection and care.
After feeling these changes in my father, I would call from time to time to ask my father where he was, what he was doing, whether he had eaten, and sometimes I could say something clear in two or three sentences, and I would also nag for a while.
Once my parents quarreled over trivial matters, because my mother's anger would aggravate the onset of chronic diseases, so when it was only me and my father at home, I moved and persuaded my father with understanding, and my father just listened and did not speak.
Not long after the persuasion was over, when I saw my father again, he was sweeping the yard with a half-broken broom.
Seeing this scene, I cried and laughed a little, feeling that my father was like a child who was reprimanded, suddenly becoming obedient and knowing that he was wrong, and I also reflected on myself repeatedly: I did not say anything serious at the end!
This change in his father's temper and personality has become more and more obvious in the past two years, sometimes sullen and unhappy, and he can vaguely feel his state of mind, but more is helplessness.
Maybe it is difficult for a father who has been strong all his life to fight against age and physical aging, and to compromise with declining energy.
I wonder if your parents behave the same way at this age? Or some other change? If so, how do you, as children, persuade your parents?
Welcome to comment on the message, look forward to sharing a better way and method!