#情感点评大赏 #
The image comes from the Internet
01
Should "decent" farewell, or sincere with "pain"
For a while, the entertainment industry was very "lively", and several artists were exposed to their personal emotional lives.
When they finally separated, they were scarred by each other and ended with a scene of tearing each other apart.
This reminds me of a book I read a few days ago, Yang Tianzhen's "Take Yourself Seriously".
From her point of view, it is mentioned that the end of a relationship is whether it is a "decent" farewell or a sincere inform, although this sincerity carries "pain".
I don't know if you have thought about it, what is your understanding of sincerity?
Especially in emotions, what should you do to be sincere, and will you have a lot of confusion and entanglement like this?
If I'm sincere, should I tell him about all my ex's experiences?
If I am sincere, should I tell the other person that I have been ambiguous with others during my relationship with him?
If I'm sincere, should I tell him directly that I don't like him and that I like someone else?
Or find another reason to break up? ........... In order to answer this question, the book quotes An old Mr. Ji Xianlin as saying: "Don't tell all lies, and don't tell all the truth."
After reading the chapter, I myself have a deeper understanding of sincerity, and I no longer struggle with what I have to say to the other party, otherwise it is insincerity to the other party.
Or, I shouldn't hurt the other person by telling the truth, especially emotionally, so I have to find a "suitable" reason.
02
For girls, the reason for breaking up is very important
In it, the author tells the story of a couple next to her.
A couple, when they broke up, the boy told the girl because the family did not agree with the two of them together.
Girls are very troubled, the two people have a good relationship, how did they meet the resistance of their parents, do not overcome together, but just give up?
This reason cannot be understood by girls.
Shouldn't the feelings that should belong to two people be able to withstand the temporary opposition of their parents?
So why didn't we give up without even a little effort, a little attempt to gain understanding and transformation from our parents?
This kind of confusion and confusion of girls, I believe some people should have experienced, this shadow is entrenched in the hearts of girls, and it cannot be dissipated for a long time.
It is very likely that these reasons will also become a sign on the future emotional road of girls, firmly rooted in the heart.
A conclusion is drawn: the mistaken belief that no matter how the parties identify each other, the strength from the parents can put an end to the relationship.
Until later, the boy told Yang Tianzhen about this matter and asked the boy the real reason.
This is not the case, the resistance from the parents is just an excuse, that is, the boy is not loving enough.
The answer given by the boy was that he was afraid, afraid that the real reason would hurt the girl, but he did not want the girl to be hurt.
Many times, in the face of this cruel truth, we are more or less unable to face our own hearts, afraid of hurting each other.
So we came up with a plausible reason.
As the book says, we will have a misunderstanding in communication, positive conflicts and cruel truths must be avoided, so we must use lies to escape and cover up...
For boys, the breakup is the most important, and the reason for the breakup is not the point.
But for girls, the reasons for breaking up are important.
03
Such a reason will not be at peace with each other!
A reluctant excuse or a sudden loss of contact will make the other party grumble about the relationship.
Then, this reason is likely to become a thorn in her heart, and she will be puzzled by this reason.
This feeling is more uncomfortable than knowing the truth, and even this reason will really become a problem of hindering emotions, and the hidden pain will become more and more serious in the future.
Such a reason, for each other, will not be at peace!
Perhaps, tell the girl that she is not so much in love, or have other choices, I think, even if she is sad, but her release will not be grumpy, nor will she be vaguely painful in the future, always feel that this relationship is a regret.
A solid emotion that has been invested in true feelings, even if the ending is not loved and broken up, it is also a flesh-and-blood ending.
At the very least, you won't be fooled by cheating and treat the reasons for the breakup as a real problem.
Therefore, in the relationship, you can allow yourself not to love, and when you do not love, you also hope that you can have one more path and perspective to choose how to end.
Instead of embarrassing each other by concealing and escaping, or otherwise.
This will see that I have other options, choosing to be honest and informed, rather than being limited by only one choice.
I also hope that this book and this reading note can provide more paths and perspectives for you who are encountering such confusion to face your own life.
Remarks: The material of the article is excerpted from Yang Tianzhen's "Take Yourself Seriously"
Author: Ning Muxue
Welcome to the discussion, your discussion may be the core of the next article. Behind each true story, ta's own wisdom in life is revealed.