The teacher wrote you a sample essay - primary and secondary school series
"____ let me grow" insight, growth type writing skills
"Chrysanthemum Makes Me Grow"
Example/ Liu Leisheng Henan student submission
Classmates begin with the original text
Summer is hot, autumn is windy, winter is cold, maybe many flowers have disappeared, but I will never forget that flower, because it has long been open in my heart.
Teacher Liu began with a comment
The first few words are best to fight, if it is a battle, it will be more beautiful, and secondly, open in the heart of the field of this slightly cheesy, we might as well say it differently.
Teacher Liu begins with an example text
Maybe the summer is hot; maybe the autumn wind is strong; maybe the winter is strong, but I will never forget the way the flower bloomed: it has long jumped out of the cycle of the four seasons and opened up to the side of my life!
The original text of the second to third paragraphs of the students
In the Jin Dynasty, Tao Yuanming liked chrysanthemums the most, and Zhou Dunyi said that it was "a hermit also". I also love chrysanthemums, but I don't want to be a hermit, but I love its style. Autumn is coming, and basically the flowers are withering, but you see the chrysanthemum, opening up in the field, what a great ambition!
I love Chrysanthemum because I want to be such a person, when others are happy, I don't show up, when others are jubilant, I study hard, and finally, when they are all dead, I soar!
Teacher Liu's second to third comments
You seem to have learned chrysanthemums wrong, right? The quality of chrysanthemums lies in thick accumulation and thin hair, not to boil the enemy to death, besides, you go to school, is it worth being so cruel? Is it necessary to survive the first few good studies to death, is the quality of chrysanthemum?
Teacher Liu's second to third example essays
Mr. Jin Taoqian loves Juju alone, and calls it "the recluse also." "I also love chrysanthemum, but not because of hereclusion, but its style: just imagine, the south wind is fierce, the flowers are withering, everything is at the end, but the chrysanthemum stands proudly, scorns the whole wilderness, and the arrogance of a flower throughout the ages is comparable to that of peonies and lotuses?
I love Juju, and I want to be such a person. When the crowd rejoices, I dormantly, and when the flowers are in contention, I can't bear it. When all things return to autumn, I will go from the horizontal knife to the sky, how dashing is this?
The original text of the fourth to sixth paragraphs of the students
However, when I was a child, I didn't understand these things, at that time, I was very simple, I couldn't hold a little thing in my heart, I was happy, I showed off everywhere, sad, I held my head and cried. Learning is even more so, progressing, I jump higher than anyone, regress, my head is lower than anyone. People say, I call this dashing, called happiness and revenge, I think not, my mother said, I call this no heart and no lungs.
So I began to learn chrysanthemums, learn chrysanthemums' tolerance, not to compare with others, nor to like the color, but to bow my head and study well, I believe that one day I will succeed.
Teacher Liu's comments in paragraphs 4 to 6
The sentence your mother said is really too appropriate, but it is also a colloquial language, and our composition is the place of written language, so try to change that sentence as much as possible, for example, we change it to do our own thing, or even say that we can delete that sentence.
Teacher Liu's fourth to sixth example essays
Unfortunately, when I was young, I did not understand this, and I could not hold a trace of forbearance in my heart: if I was a little happy, I would call out a tsunami; if I was a little sad, I would cry with a headache. The same is true of learning: when you achieve a little success, you are proud, and when you fail, you are frustrated.
This seems to be my own way of doing things, like shallow water, even a fish can not fit, let alone the flying dragon in the sky?
Some people say: I am very good, simple and simple, if I know how to be patient, it is too smooth, too city-like. Hearing these words, I just smiled slightly. If you regard the dormancy as a city government, then after the wind is hidden, fang fu soars up dapeng, is not it "old scheming"?
So, I began to love chrysanthemums and learn chrysanthemums. Don't compete with other flowers, only compete with fate; don't please the audience, only laugh at life.
Classmates end with the original text
I love Chrysanthemum because Chrysanthemum makes me grow!
Teacher Liu concluded with an annotation
If so, this ending is too simple, some of the taste of the tiger's tail, so let's try to write a little more, so what to write? Teacher Liu suggested that lyricism and discussion can be done.
Teacher Liu ended with an example essay
The south wind rises, all things decline, who can be proud of the heavens and the earth? Solipsistic Wild Chrysanthemum! Chrysanthemum makes me grow and let me have the strength to accumulate thick and thin! Chrysanthemum let me grow and let me understand the true meaning of hidden dormancy! Ju, let me grow, let me grow into a person who is on the right path!