Dude pounced on the ground! His teeth trembled and he said, 'Brother, I'm such a broadbander.'

Accompany the beautiful sister-in-law to go on a blind date, the other party said that he has a car and a house, and the car is millions. I said, "You're not talking about the subway, you're talking about the bus, right?" He asked rhetorically, "Buy it for millions on the subway?" The sister-in-law glanced at me and said, "Brother, don't you make a fuss, I want to continue to listen to him blow!" The man was also not modest, and continued: "Rest assured, my car is definitely unique, although it is only two wheels, but it is old and has a high collection value, the last time the old king next door said it could be worth a million, and then my daughter-in-law followed him!" "This... Her daughter-in-law was cheated out of her bike?

Because I was forced to get married, I was cold war with my husband for three years after marriage, but my mother-in-law was very kind to me. One time, when my mother-in-law had already prepared a meal and put it on the table, my mother-in-law said to me very gently: "Come back, I have prepared dinner, just like yesterday." I said happily, "That's great! I love to eat! "As a result, after the dish was served, I found out that it was yesterday's leftovers!

Since he bought a Huawei p40pro mobile phone for his father-in-law, he has to send a circle of friends for everything. Once he sent a circle of friends: "I ate 8 oysters today!" There are more than a dozen colleagues at the bottom who like it. The next day he sent a circle of friends: "I ate 12 oysters today!" Then dozens of colleagues gave him a thumbs up. For the next week, my father-in-law ate oysters in the circle of friends every day, and he ate more and more every day, and more and more colleagues liked him. A week later, my father-in-law sent one last circle of friends: "Oysters eat too much, mild mercury poisoning is hospitalized!" "More than 500 colleagues gave him a thumbs up this time!

The husband did not get a driver's license until he was 50 years old, so he used his pension loan to buy a Mercedes-Benz Maybach S650. I went with my husband to the 4S shop to pick up the car, and on the way back I sat in the car and enjoyed it. Then I pointed to a great uncle in front of me and said, "Dad, you pull over." Old man: What's up? Do you meet an acquaintance and want to say hello? Me: No, I don't know. Old man: I don't know you pointing at him, why do you want to get out of the car? Me: I think he's too arrogant! Old Man: People have not provoked you, why do you say that people are arrogant? Me: He's a walker who dares to overtake your car!

During the festival, the elder brother carried two bottles of good wine of 800,000 yuan to his father-in-law's house as a guest. When he ate, he accompanied his father-in-law to drink. During the period, the sister-in-law stepped on the old brother's feet and suggested that he should not drink, but his father-in-law told him to come over to accompany him to drink, and he could not drink without his father-in-law, so he ignored his sister-in-law. The sister-in-law saw that the elder brother ignored her, so she stomped on the elder brother fiercely, and the elder brother cried out in pain. When his father-in-law heard it, he laughed at the old brother: Boy, I am afraid of my wife, you are more instigated than me, today you have the ability to slap me in the face, otherwise I look down on you! The elder brother hesitated and said: Father-in-law, how dare I in your house! As soon as the words fell out, his father-in-law slapped his brother in the face: You mean you dare if you are not in my house?

Near the college entrance examination, the mother-in-law took her brother-in-law to the temple to make a wish, burning incense to worship the Buddha in order to get a good score. When I arrived at the temple, I prostrated my head and burned incense, and suddenly saw that there was an abbot in the temple who was very familiar. Looking closer, the abbot turned back and asked, "Lord, is there anything I can do to help you?" The mother-in-law thought for half a day: Senior monk, I see that you look a bit like my ex-husband? The abbot is furious: Bullshit! You don't know me after only a few days away?

I fell in love with the boss's sister-in-law and ended up being fired. After a day of unsuccessful work, I squatted on the side of the road and smoked to relieve boredom. Suddenly, when a Maybach reversed, it scraped the Rolls-Royce next to me. The BMW owner came down, and I taunted, "Brother, the technology is good!" He looked at it, hurriedly took out 60,000 pieces from his bag, stuffed it for me and ran. I stood up with the money, patted the ashes on my body, stepped on my shared bike and left.

The ex-wife ran after a coal boss and threw the baby at me. My family conditions are not very good, so I married an older leftover woman of more than 200 pounds. After the marriage, she was very kind to me, that time, she said to me: Honey, today's weather is good, let's go to the zoo to play, long time not to go, I feel that it is the most fun there. I said, "Of course, lions and tigers must be happy to see you, because they see meat."

The kitchen knife at home was broken, and I asked my husband to go to the downstairs store to buy one. The husband just went out, the appointment to install broadband came, and the heating at home was also very hot. The eldest brother took off his coat and was ready to work. Just then, my husband returned, carrying a kitchen knife in his hand. The boy was stunned and fell to his knees! Teeth trembled and he said, "Brother, I'm such a broadband!" ”

I remember once going out on an outing, and suddenly a sister said that she had been bitten to the chest by a snake, and asked me to suck the poison out. I laughed when I heard it: "How can you be such a person!" What if I suck it out and I'm poisoned? You think I'm stupid! Go, take you to the hospital. "Special, and then she said it's all right, neurosis, and stay away from her in the future!"