There is nothing more embarrassing in the world than this:
Others did not take you seriously at all, and you also made yourself sentimental and sentimental, always paying attention to your own words and deeds, trembling, like walking on thin ice, for fear of falling into a bad impression.
In fact, many times, you are not so important in the hearts of others, mainly because you think too much.
Why is that?
After reading the following three reasons, you will have an instant epiphany.
01
There is no stake
Interpersonal relationships are the process of exchanging benefits.
The ultimate purpose of communication is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.
Xiao Zhang and Xiao Wang entered a company at the same time.
Xiao Wang works diligently, works cautiously and meticulously, and often works overtime, afraid of flaws in his work.
Because of Xiao Wang's serious work, Mr. Li often praised Xiao Wang at the small meetings of the conference, and after Xiao Wang was praised, his enthusiasm became more and more sufficient.
A year later, Xiao Zhang was promoted to manager, Xiao Wang was not promoted, and his salary did not rise.
Xiao Wang was very depressed, and when he met his good colleague Xiao Zheng, he said the bitterness in his heart.
Xiao Zheng comforted him and said: "Xiao Wang, this matter does not blame you, you are definitely much better than Xiao Zhang in terms of work, everyone can see this aspect, but Xiao Zhang's uncle is the leader of a certain bureau, he is very familiar with them, so Li Promoted Xiao Zhang and wanted to open something." ”
When people make decisions, they usually weigh the pros and cons.
The pursuit of maximizing benefits is a basic principle in interpersonal communication.
Xiao Wang is an old scalper-style employee, who is not a scarce talent in the unit, and wants to go out with hard work, unless he encounters a good leader. Otherwise, all your efforts will be in vain, because you are not a dish at all in the leader's place.
Xiao Zhang is different from Xiao Wang in that he has an uncle who is a leader, because of this relationship, his weight in the leader's heart is naturally much heavier.
The world is bustling, all for profit;
The whole world is in the midst of profit.
Behind all the unfairness is the broken silver that can solve thousands of sorrows.
02
There is no bottom line of principle
The reason why others don't take you seriously is because there are no serious consequences after bullying you, so they will constantly challenge your bottom line.
There was a girl in the 3rd grade of elementary school in my colleague's family, and there was a very strong and naughty boy in the class who always bullied her, and after class, he either pulled her braids or took her stationery.
Once the girl couldn't help it, and went up to a "taekwondo" type of beating, which made the boy's nose blue and his face swollen, and he cried.
Later, the boy learned that the girl began practicing taekwondo at the age of 5 and has not bullied her since.
If you have no bottom line, no principles, and always swallow your anger after suffering losses, others will only think that you are a good bully.
If you don't threaten, others will only treat you as a sick cat.
03
Don't know how to refuse
A company has recruited a recent college graduate, a girl with a kind heart and a good person.
When she first arrived at the company, she was particularly diligent, and went to the company every day to clean up in advance and wipe the office seats of her colleagues.
Colleagues see her so diligently that they will look for her when things happen. Things like taking couriers, buying things, and being on duty are all done by her, and instead of refusing, she gladly accepts them as a way to please old employees.
Even so, the old employees did not accept her affection, and there was no room for criticism of her.
Once, the leader handed over a job to the old employee to deal with, the old employee directly pushed her, because she just took over, unfamiliar with the work, there were some problems, resulting in the leader in front of the customer is very humiliated.
After returning, the leader was furious, at this time the old employee pushed the responsibility to her, the leader scolded her fiercely, and she walked out of the office with tears in her eyes.
He lay on the table and buried his head in crying all afternoon, his eyes swollen like walnuts.
As the saying goes, a good person is deceived, and a horse is good to be ridden.
When others don't take you seriously, they all start with yourself not taking yourself seriously.
Because you are too good at talking, what things, as soon as others look for you, you agree;
Whatever you want, you give as soon as someone else wants it.
But I never thought about when I should say no and dare to say no.
Rejection can make you more precious and valuable.
Don't go to the bottom line to be good to others, do you think you have to compromise yourself to cater to them without a bottom line, and they will be grateful to you?
No, they will only take you less seriously!
Written at the end,
People, not afraid of being used by others, are afraid that they are useless.
Take yourself seriously,
Trying to improve yourself and make yourself more valuable is the only way out.
When you succeed,
Everything you say is the truth.
contrarily
Others still won't take you seriously.
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