On that day, I looked back at the military parade marking the 50th anniversary of the Founding of the People's Republic of China. I saw that my former comrades-in-arms had participated in the National Day parade, and the rank had been promoted to major general, and they were at the forefront of the line.
I didn't mean to be jealous of him in the slightest. More than a decade ago, we all served in the same unit. At the time, he was in the command department and I was in the logistics department. We all graduated from the same military academy, and at that time we had similar positions and the same rank, but the difference was that soon after I changed careers and returned to the local area, he stayed in the army, and he stayed until now, for more than ten years.
Once, I went back to my hometown and passed by the original troops. When the old comrades-in-arms were together many years later, he naturally wanted to be a guest. He called several little brothers, all dressed in brand new uniforms. At that time, he was still a colonel, but he obviously felt that he had improved a lot and spoke with confidence. Looking at the way he shouted five or six, I suddenly had a feeling of being separated from the world, and I felt that I was out of place with them. I really didn't want to stay with him for too long, I was afraid of a huge gap in front of him. When I think about the days when we used to work together, I was a little embarrassed.
In fact, we experienced the same at the beginning, but due to the different choices at the key time later, the natural situation will be different. Although this is normal, it is inevitable that there will be a gap.
Once, I swore to him that I would go back to the local boss and do a big job, but he said that he would stay in the army, work honestly and hard, and work until he retired. The reality is that he did it, but I am not the boss, and many times I still rely on retirement money to survive.
Once, somewhat reluctantly, I told him that this position and rank had risen too slowly. But he said take it slowly, and he couldn't eat hot tofu in a hurry. But the reality is that he became a general, but I returned to being a civilian. He has been rich and prosperous, but I have achieved almost nothing.
I am really happy for him as a comrade in the trenches, and now that he has been promoted. The reason why I want to compare with him is that I think I was too hasty and went too early. Not in the post, what do I take to serve the motherland?!
Once upon a time, I often thought of myself as a soldier, bathed in the spring breeze of the motherland's reform, enjoyed the prosperity brought by the prosperous world, and from the envious eyes of others, I deeply experienced the sacredness and decency of the military. Today, I often feel extremely guilty and inferior. After returning to the locality, although I had vowed to do a great job and continue to serve our great motherland, I really could not give back to the motherland with decent results, and my heart was really tormented and conceited.
To be honest, I have worked hard enough after returning to the local area, but many times it has backfired. Although I am full of confidence, I often feel powerless. Once upon a time, the motherland cultivated and educated me, so no matter where I am, I cannot forget my roots. But I've been barely getting better, so I feel guilty and upset.
To say, I did catch up with the good times. Since I was a child, I have had no worries about food and clothing, read happily, and grow up happily. When I grew up, I joined the army, went to a military academy, and became an officer after graduation. Unfortunately, I left the army prematurely, and although I was to blame others, I often felt unwilling. Suddenly, one day, I inadvertently found that I was so mediocre, and I had been back to the place for more than ten years, and I had achieved almost nothing. Once the motherland nurtured me to become a talent, but now I have no way to repay, I really have no face for my motherland. The original bold words and vows were torn apart in the face of the harsh reality, and the iron-blooded man who once wanted to do a big job has now almost become a bad old man who is nothing.
That's why I feel guilty and uneasy. In the past, I spent more than a decade in mediocrity, but I don't want to waste the next few decades. So, I don't feel a little old, in fact, I am still very young, like a young man in his early twenties, young and energetic, old and capable, full of hard work. My future is my master! In the future, I will not want to be rich and prominent, but if I want to change, I will be satisfied with my original intention.