Author: Liu Na
Because of the 3500 yuan deposit, Ms. Jiang in Chongqing clashed with the wedding dress shop.
In anger, she cut 32 wedding dresses from the wedding dress shop with a total price of nearly 70,000 yuan.
This matter has aroused heated discussion on the whole network.
Unfortunately, many people don't see the essence of the problem -
In the past two days, there is a news, the matter is not big, the impact is quite large, and the whole network has discussed it very warmly.
Ms. Jiang of Chongqing originally wanted to do a wedding, so she paid a deposit of 3500 yuan at the wedding dress shop.
Later, Ms. Jiang did not want to do the wedding again, and wanted to get the deposit back: after she became pregnant, her stomach became more and more obvious, and she also gained a lot of weight.
However, the wedding dress shop refused to refund the deposit on the grounds that "the deposit had been paid to the host, photographer, etc., and the contract between the two parties at that time was not refundable".
Ms. Jiang has asked for a deposit several times without success.
The bridal shop took a step back and gave other options:
For example, exchange this money for the cost of taking pictures of the baby in the future, or if there is a friend who wants to get married, Ms. Jiang can also transfer it to a friend.
But Ms. Jiang did not agree, and she had to refund the deposit.
The wedding dress shop insisted on not returning.
The two sides are deadlocked.
The more Ms. Jiang thought about it, the more angry she became, so she took the scissors, ran to the wedding dress shop, and angrily cut the valuable wedding dresses hanging in the store.
One scissors and one scissors went down, and a total of 32 wedding dresses were cut.
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When Ms. Jiang cut the wedding dress, the clerk who left evidence in the video reminded her: "These (wedding dresses) are thousands and tens of thousands, you can think clearly." ”
Ms. Jiang was angry and directly shrugged back: "Tens of thousands, 100,000 can be, you dare to bully Lao Tzu..."
Under the fury, the domineering side leaks.
Subsequently, the wedding dress shop called the police and posted the video online.
After the police intervened, they determined that ms. Jiang cut these wedding dresses, worth 67,400 yuan.
The police hope that Ms. Jiang and the wedding dress shop will communicate well and reach a compensation agreement.
Ms. Jiang refused to compensate.
Wedding shop owners have to go through the law.
After this matter was disturbed on the Internet, the whole network one-sidedly believed:
Because of the deposit of 3500 yuan, Ms. Jiang was angry and cut off 32 wedding dresses, which was too impulsive.
Is it just a matter of emotional impulses?
No. No. No.
Ms. Jiang's problem is the problem of "the underlying logic of right and wrong" that many people do not understand.
People who don't understand this problem are very sad to live this life.
Today, in order to make this problem clear to you, I will first tell a story -
There is a company executive with an annual salary of 1 million+ who wants to go out to meet customers, and the company's car breaks down, so he goes to the subway with his subordinates.
While riding the subway, his foot was accidentally stepped on by a young man in front of him.
The young man not only did not apologize, but also turned back and scolded the executive: "How do you put the hooves?" Don't have eyes? ”
Before the executive could speak, his subordinates stepped forward to argue with the youngsters: "How do you talk?" If you don't have eyes, you don't have eyes, right? ”
The executive pulled his subordinates aside and compensated the young man who scolded him:
"My fault, my fault, don't be angry."
That's it.
After getting off the subway, the subordinate asked the executive: "Mr. X, obviously it is his fault, he stepped on you, how can you still say that you are wrong!" You said one thing in the company, why did you come out so instigated? ”
Executives say:
"Right or wrong, it's not that we're right, we're right.
You see, on the surface, he stepped on me, it was his fault.
But he stepped on me, and he scolded me, indicating that he was an extremely uncultivated person.
His eyes were fierce, he was dressed shabby, and he was entangled, and he was likely to do something to us or move a knife.
Our life, which is worth more than his life, cannot be entangled with him.
This is one of them.
In addition, the customers we want to meet today are customers who bring 10 million+ orders to the company every year.
If, because of entanglement with him, we delay in meeting customers, then we will lose faith in customers, and we may lose the opportunity to cooperate.
Our time was worth more than him.
That's the second.
Since our lives and time are worth more than him, why should we be more real with him just because he stepped on me.
Whether it is to be a person or to do things, it cannot be limited to the superficial right and wrong, but to gain insight into the logic behind right and wrong:
Whoever loses the most is wrong. ”
When the subordinate listened, he almost gave the executive a knee: "Mr. X, you said it too well." Turns out, it's my fault! ”
The executive smiled slightly: "I also learned this trick from others." ”
Then, the executive told the subordinates about the famous past of the big guy -
The eldest son of Hong Kong's richest man, Lee, was kidnapped by bandit Zhang Ziqiang.
In the end, Li's richest man ransomed his eldest son for HK$1.038 billion.
This past, which is comparable to a police blockbuster, has been reported by many media.
Among them, a conversation between the richest man and the kidnappers, many people have ignored.
The kidnapper asked the richest man, "If you dare to call the police, I will tear up the ticket." ”
The richest man said: "I will not call the police, I was wrong, this time it was really me who was wrong." ”
The kidnapper asked, "What's wrong with you?" ”
The richest man said sincerely: "I am such a big enterprise, such a high value, but there is not a single bodyguard." I went out to play ball, went to work for meetings, and drove all by myself. Not only did I not protect myself, but I didn't even protect my family. I was wrong, I was really wrong. ”
When the kidnappers heard this, the richest man was sincere and willing to give a ransom, so let him obediently send the money and let his son go.
It's not hard to imagine if the richest man said, "Don't you know I'm the richest man?" Don't you know that I have a good relationship with the police? You dare to kidnap My Son, you are too bold!" ”
In this way, he will not become the richest man, and he may also lose his son forever.
Why did the richest man admit that he was wrong?
First, he and his family were indeed negligent in security measures.
Second, he is well versed in the logic of right and wrong that "whoever loses the most is wrong."
Obviously, the kidnapper broke the law, kidnapped his son, extorted his money, but compared to the kidnapper's rotten life, his son's life is obviously more valuable, and compared to losing more than 1 billion yuan, he lost his son more losses.
So, he admits he was wrong.
Because if he doesn't handle it well, he loses even more.
This is the "principle of right and wrong" in the underlying logic, and it is also the famous "separation of topics" in psychology:
The tragedy of life is often caught in the mood of right and wrong, and forget to distinguish between what is the subject of "me" and what is the subject of "you".
Kidnappers breaking the law and committing crimes is the subject of kidnappers.
Suffering losses due to kidnapping is a problem for the richest man.
If the loss caused by "my" subject is greater than that of "you", then "I" is wrong.
"I" pay for "my" subject.
Back to the beginning of the Chongqing Ms. Jiang angrily cut 32 wedding dresses to come up:
Regardless of whether the contract has an agreement or not, and whether the agreement is valid or not, the refund of the deposit of 3500 yuan is a subject for the wedding dress shop.
However, pregnant with a big belly, about to give birth to a child, even the wedding can not be held, can no longer wear a wedding dress and take wedding photos, is Ms. Jiang's subject.
Because of this 3500 yuan deposit, Ms. Jiang made a big fuss at the wedding dress shop, angrily cut 32 pieces of wedding dresses that violated the law and caused greater losses, or if the child in her belly accidentally had a slip-up loss, the loss of which one was greater than 3500 yuan.
So, she was wrong.
If she realizes her mistake in advance, raises the fetus at home with peace of mind, and waits for the baby to be healthy after birth, to take a photo of the baby's first birthday, the 3500 yuan is still valid, why not enjoy it?
Unfortunately, she, and many others, did not have such a recognition.
At this time, someone had to say: "Oh, at that time, in terms of anger, who could think so long-term?" ”
Be sure to think.
And to implant this underlying logic into the mind, into a subconscious action, otherwise in life, you are easy to suffer losses:
You drive a Mercedes benz, go to the mall to run errands, and when you go out of the gate, you accidentally bump into your car because the security guard landed on the pole too quickly.
Is it your fault, or the security guard's fault?
Your fault.
Why?
Think of the case of Guangdong security guards angrily killing the owner of a Mercedes-Benz:
Once the contradiction intensifies, your loss is great, and even your life is gone, of course, it is your fault.
You open a noodle shop at the station, and because the price of flour has risen, you have raised the price of a bowl of noodles from 4 yuan to 5 yuan.
At this time, 3 young people who were down and down came to eat noodles.
When they finish eating noodles and checking out, they only pay 4 yuan for a bowl of noodles.
You explain that it's now $5 a bowl.
The young man said angrily: "The sign at your door clearly says 4 yuan." ”
You explained that before you could change it, it was all 5 yuan a bowl.
The young man said we only paid $4.
Is it your fault, or the fault of young people?
Think of the bloody case caused by a bowl of noodles at Wuchang Railway Station, you know:
If you are hacked to death, the shop is gone, the home is gone, your loss is great, so your fault.
……
Think about the many bloody cases caused by a cup of milk tea, a courier, and a seat.
Each interprets the underlying logic of the world:
Whoever loses the most, he or she has to admit his mistake.
Admitting a mistake is equivalent to recovering the loss of hundreds of thousands, tens of millions, or even a few lives.
This is "Happiness Jean":
When you are happy, you learn to be humble.
It is also the difference between "moral correctness" and "right life":
Many times, even if you are morally correct, if you do not understand the wisdom of life, you will fall into tragedy and become unhappy.
Because, before the impulse, under the arrogance, you have lost the underlying logic of right and wrong, and you have not really valued your own loss.
Life is the best teacher, and there is an underlying logic in the lessons.
May you all get inspiration and wisdom from today's words and become a happy person.
Today's cognition, have you gotten it?
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