The concave mirror of the heart cannot illuminate the truth

In the blink of an eye, I remarried and married Jun Yong for more than a year. Seeing us like glue, the girlfriend shouted to eat and celebrate, and gave Jun Yong a toast during the banquet: "Thank you for your salvation, so that there is one less problem woman in this world and one more happy woman!" ”

On the way home, Jun Yong laughed and quipped: "I didn't see it, you were once a problem woman?" I rested my head on his thick shoulder and smiled silently.

1

5 years ago, my husband had a little lover, I didn't say a word, resolutely divorced, my daughter and me.

I have always been a big grinning, somewhat masculine woman, I used to think that small trinkets were cumbersome, I did not expect that the divorce would make me have a big change in temperament, and I had a lot of small women's feelings. Sometimes passing by the lingerie store, those soft bras and pajamas will be touched and touched by me, and I can't help but buy one after another, I love the feeling of being wrapped in gentle fabrics, and there are a lot of soft and gorgeous silk scarves at home.

One morning, I went to work in a black suit and a rose pink scarf. As soon as I entered the company, someone began to whisper, and the little secretary leaned over and asked, "When will you invite us to eat candy?" "Nothing!" After the divorce, I mention this most annoyingly. "Dressed up so beautifully, it looks like a woman in love!" The little girl had no eyes and was still snickering vigorously. I hurriedly pulled off the silk scarf, tucked it into the drawer, and said with a straight face: "I have long been dead to men." ”

A man sat in the cubicle, full of loneliness. What is the probability of a divorced woman with children, who is not beautiful and has a gentle personality, what is the probability of remarriage?

I am a self-aware person, simply put on a "solitary life" posture, no matter who introduces me to the object, I will refuse.

After the silk scarf incident, I no longer dared to show my little woman feelings, my clothes were black, white and gray, and my hair was cut into a short sports style. The girlfriend skimmed her lips: "Can you dress up as a woman?" Tired of being with you, others thought I was having an affair! ”

I decided to put the little woman's mind on my daughter. Soon it turned out that the 12-year-old daughter was becoming more and more like a tomboy: refusing to wear skirts, refusing to have long hair, refusing to wear brightly colored clothes; enjoying playing basketball and skateboarding with boys, and even computer games. On the night of lightning and thunder, I covered my head in the quilt and did not dare to come out, she ran to my bedside, patted me and comforted: "Don't be afraid, there is me!" She made no secret of her son preference: "Girls are delicate and sentimental; boys are strong, brave, and moralistic!" She even said, "Mom, why don't you make me a boy, how good it is to be a boy!" ”

People around me said that the little girl was learning from me, and I always acted like a big man, and she naturally adhered to my temperament. I can only sigh! How I wish she had grown into a gentle and lovely little woman.

There was also something strange and irritating to me: on the first day of every menstrual holiday, I had a headache and wanted to hit the wall. I have been to many hospitals for examinations, but I have not found any abnormalities. The doctor couldn't say why, only that it would be better to stop menstruating later. Every time I had a headache attack, I lay in bed in pain and hated myself why I was a woman!

Fortunately, a month is such a difficult day. Usually I'm in good shape, and on weekends, I like to ride to the suburbs to get some fresh air. There will be many construction sites along the way, and I will stand by the side of the road and admire the scene of workers sweating naked in the hot sun. Girlfriend laughed at me: "Everyone is looking at beautiful men, why do you fall in love with migrant workers?" "I don't know what's going on, anyway, I don't have to panic in my heart for a while, and when I see the workers' dark and shiny skin and broad and strong backs, I feel that my spirit is lifted."

2

The summer before, I met Jun Yong by chance. He is a middle school Chinese teacher, he doesn't talk much, but he is very delicate, paying attention to my feelings all the time. I frowned slightly, and he would ask, "Is there something uncomfortable?" The weather turned slightly cooler, and reminded me: "Wear softer, thicker." "After six months of dating, we got married.

After marriage, Jun Yong was more attentive to me. What surprised me the most was that he gave me more joy than ever. He was sometimes warm and gentle, a little bit stirring my longing, sometimes wild and wild, making me bloom in the middle of the spirits. In retrospect, my ex-husband brought me only simple and rough; but Junyong suddenly made me enlightened: it turned out to be a kind of enjoyment. When Jun Yong did not study in the evening, he would often accompany me for a walk, we walked hand in hand on the boulevard, the faint fragrance of flowers if there was none, the night wind like a light veil drifted to the body, I felt like a gentle woman like the moon.

I started wearing brightly colored clothes like sky blue, moss green, and beige. I also wear elegant pearl necklaces and emerald bracelets. Friends say I'm getting more feminine. And the headache during menstruation was not cured.

When her daughter and Jun Yong saw each other, she grimaced at him: "I like to make friends with a knowledgeable person like you!" "My daughter likes to ask why, Jun Yong has always been patient to answer, once she wanted to know what the hilly terrain is like, he specially took her to Take a train for more than 20 hours to See the hills in Sichuan.

3

Before and after the remarriage, I sentenced two people. Jun Yong smiled evilly: "I am a minor in psychology, let me help you solve the mystery." ”

He said: "Those warm and soft pajamas and silk scarves represent love, and you like these things, which shows that your heart is very eager for love, and strong self-esteem disguises you as a cold, strong, rejecting the love of children, the more disguised, the more depressed you are, the stronger the desire in your heart, the more serious the so-called bad habits." ”

I nodded. Indeed, in those days of divorce, I was always very irritable, refusing love with a straight face, but in fact, how could my heart not desire it? After marrying Jun Yong, my temper became more and more temperate, and my mood became as clear and calm as the lake.

"Then tell me, how come my headache is gone?" I threw this problem that even doctors could not solve to Jun Yong. He thought for a moment and said, "Let me analyze it this way—your headache is actually a reminder to you: you have a menstrual holiday, you are a woman, and you must face the facts." "I was stunned, this strange problem that has plagued me for a long time turned out to be a warning? Jun Yong continued: "Because you always refuse to face up to your normal psychological and physical needs as a woman, you ignore it, reject it, of course it does not agree, so it must be reminded of you in some way." "That's a reminder, it's torture!" My heart palpitated. "How can you get your attention without torture?" Jun Yong took me into his arms and said, "Well, you know what you want, and its reminder is meaningless." The physical and psychological connection is sometimes so subtle. ”

Jun Yong asked me again: "Did you find that my daughter began to wear a skirt." "I patted my head and patronized to enjoy my own happiness, ignoring my daughter's changes!" Could it be because I used to always dress up masculine and she was a tomboy; I now wear beautiful clothes and she wants to be a pretty little girl too? I asked. Jun Yong said: "There are deeper reasons. Daughter knows the mother's heart best, although you look like a man before, but the daughter knows that your heart is actually a weak woman, eager for strong shoulders to protect, so she has fulfilled you, with her own tomboy image to give you the comfort of the heart. "Hearing this, my eyes got wet.

"Of course, she was only driven by the subconscious," Jun Yong said, "now, she knows that her mother has a shoulder to lean on, and she doesn't need her to take on the responsibilities of a man." So, rest assured, she will slowly return. "Great, I sincerely hope she can be a real, cute girl, not as disguised as I used to be." I say it from the bottom of my heart.

"As for your obsession with the labor figure of the construction worker, this question is well," Jun Yong smiled mysteriously, touched my cheek, and I punched him, blushing with shame.

Jun Yong concluded: "Everyone's heart is a mirror, only when it is flat, it can truly reflect everything, can return to the true self; the convex and uneven, the truth will be distorted." ”

I lay in Jun Yong's arms and said silently in my heart: "Thank you for giving me beautiful love, so that my heart is as flat as a mirror, and I no longer run and wander on the bumpy road." ”