Text/Qian Luhong
Lately, I've been dreaming a lot
Dreams are constantly switching, one dream after another, one dream covering another. It's still messy.
When you wake up, the scene in the dream will either pass away without a trace. Or as the camera replays, it's clear. Or scattered and not restored.
Dreams are the flowers of the night, and they bloom in the middle of the night. Dreams are short or long, sometimes like clouds passing by, sometimes lengthy and incomprehensible. Dreams are also different, sometimes bizarre, sometimes bland; sometimes intoxicating, sometimes sad.
But sometimes, there are also no dreams due to insomnia, and sometimes it is shallow sleep and dreams. Although the dream is energy-consuming, it turns a thousand times, and the mood still exists. Insomnia is very annoying, like stealing unripe fruit as a child, and the mouth is full of sourness. Dreamlessness is also annoying, and it feels like the heart is empty, like something is missing. So, there are still good dreams.
"Dreams are short dreams, dreams are dreams, what year is the year", through the garden of dreams, the body is like the wind, faintly coming, fading away.
Like a memory.
1.
Dreaming of a mother.
The sky is faint, and the mist flows, like a feather floating in the air.
Early in the morning, my mother woke me up, she said, I and your father are going to work in the mountains, you stay at home, don't go anywhere, hear me?
Confused, I replied, rolled over and fell asleep again. When I woke up, the sun was shining high in the sky. I heard the pigeons calling, looked up, and saw a gray pigeon parked on the windowsill looking around. Thinking about what time it is? Suddenly, the sound of a cow's nose beating in the courtyard was heard, and then the voice of her mother was heard, and she was calling the chicken to eat.
I thought to myself, how did they come back so early?
Not long after, the screen door creaked, and someone pushed the door in. I thought it was my mother, so I quickly rolled over and sat up. But when he saw his father standing in the doorway, he said, "It's not too early, it's time to get up and eat." I breathed a sigh of relief and said yes.
It was also golden melon boiled taro, plus a plate of pickles and a bean carob. I was tired of eating the golden melon, and even secretly swore that I would rather eat dry rice than eat it again.
I said, "Mom, every meal is either taro or golden melon, is there no other delicious dish?" ”
My mother looked at me, and in a blunt tone, interrupted me: "You said there are no delicious dishes, so what dishes are delicious?" ”
I was a little aggrieved, and said in a vague voice: "The taste of golden melon is really not good." ”
The mother pulled off her sleeve and said a little angrily, "Oh, you can eat it if you want, and if you don't eat it, you can forget it." ”
I closed my mouth in disgust and didn't dare to say a word.
My father was at the door, smiling at the hookah, and said, "Why don't you order something delicious to relieve your hunger?" ”
I looked up and smiled happily.
The mother frowned and said, "You don't have to cling to her in everything." You look at someone else's child, the adult cooks what he eats, and she picks and chooses. ”
The father smiled and did not speak.
His laughter seemed to contain a miraculous effect, and his mother was relieved in her heart, and she laughed and said, "When you're done, eat these dishes first." ”
I scooped a bowl of soup and rice, grabbed a little dish in front of me, and then sat down and looked forward to it, not knowing what I was looking forward to.
The sun was shining in the yard, and I looked up at the sky, blue and leisurely.
The mother rolled up her sleeves, and the back of her hand was stained with rice grains. She was washing the dishes. The sunlight crept up her forehead, moving freely like a small fish, and the arc of her mouth flicked down slightly, and a smile came out of her face. It felt gentle. I couldn't help but call out to her, Mom.
She turned her head and looked at me questioningly, her face glowing red, very moving.
After that, the colors in front of my eyes became confused, one would be red, one would be yellow, one would be blue, one would be green...
Suddenly, there was the crackling of firecrackers outside. Then came the cheerful voices of the people. I opened the door and ran out. My mother seemed to follow, standing by the side of the road watching. Not far away, a group of children are huddled around a house cheering and snatching rice candy. That situation, like the New Year, is so happy. The owner looked up at the red cloth wrapped around the beams of the room, a look of excitement on his face. The visitors were also happy for no reason. His daughter-in-law was busy looking for this and that while greeting the guests, her face was red and her forehead was oozing fine beads of sweat.
After only a few moments of effort, the scene that was still lively and lively suddenly cooled down. There was no one around, and it was very quiet.
Not long after feeling, a gong and drum sounded loud again, straight up to the clouds, floating with the clouds. I wondered to myself, how can there be a gong and drum sound? Where did all those people go? Why wasn't my mother there? Before I could figure it out, there was another scream in my ear, high-pitched and excited, and it seemed a little desolate, and a little sad, but it quickly stopped abruptly, as if some broken thoughts, before they could tell, before they could grieve, they passed away with the wind.
Gradually, the surrounding area fell silent again.
A flock of pigeons suddenly flew by the window, and the children chased and frolicked behind the house, laughing and staining the sun red.
Then, the dream woke up.
2.
Dreaming of classmates
In the spring, the butterfly play Fangfei in the campus, and the green branches are painted.
In class, the class teacher asked everyone to say their future ideals. Some people want to be workers, some people want to be policemen, some people want to be doctors, some people want to go to university, and in the future they will be a useful person to society... What is my ideal that the teacher asked me? I thought about it and said that I would become a teacher in the future. He nodded and smiled. When I was asked about a boy in the back seat, the other party squeaked for a while before saying, I am not studying well, I will definitely not be able to pass the university, and I can only go home to farm in the future.
The students burst into laughter in an instant.
The teacher's face was very ugly, probably because this answer surprised him, and he shook his head and sighed: "Alas, your parents provided you with school because they wanted you to jump out of the farm and have a formal job." You're good to go home and farm. Why don't you just say you want to go home and raise pigs? ”
The students laughed again.
He was stunned, looked to the left and right, and somewhat aggrievedly argued: "Am I wrong?" You're all out, who's going to farm? No one farms, what do you eat? ”
As soon as his voice dropped, the mischievous boy was there to coax and grimace, and deliberately called out his nickname, Little Bun.
The teacher waved his hand and whispered, "All right, you guys stop making trouble, be quiet." Then he looked at him and said somewhat impatiently, "Sit down." ”
I couldn't help but look back at him and see him with an uncomfortable face, twisting his head to the side, looking confused. We are in the same village, I call his father uncle, treat people very well, and treat me well. He, wild is a little wild, but the temperament is straightforward, so I feel sorry for him.
After a while, someone was still whispering, covering his mouth and smiling. The ignorance and indifference of youth sometimes leaves people speechless.
As soon as the bell rang at the end of class, he rushed out of the classroom and quickly disappeared.
About to be depressed, he skipped class the next class, but was found by the teacher and called to the penalty station.
I don't know who told his father about this, and his father was angry enough, angry and sad, and he cursed a few words, and picked up the stick and beat him. He ran and hid. I couldn't dodge it twice, so I had to ask his mother for help. His mother was in pain for a moment, so she pounced on him to protect him. His father gasped in frustration, stared at his mother with his eyes, and then complained loudly, "Look at your good son, you have thrown away my face, and you are still protecting him?" His mother felt wronged, silently lowered her head, and shed tears.
The dog was not amused and barked at him twice. He became indignant and ran over and kicked it, "What's the name, believe it or not, I kicked you to death." The dog barked twice and ran away, crouching down by the door.
His father shook his head and snorted coldly: "The dog recruited you to annoy you?" ”
He looked at the stick in his father's hand and shook it, not daring to make a sound.
His mother guarded the stove, buried her head, and lit a fire while shedding tears. He comforted and said, "Mom, don't cry, it will smoke your eyes." His father glanced at him, shook his head with a flat mouth, and sighed: "Who told you not to study well?" Do some shameful things. He didn't dare to resist, and could only whisper, "I've worked very hard, but I just can't read it." His father looked distressed: "Alas, you really can't support the wall!" He muttered again in a low voice: "There are words, it knows me, but I don't know it." ”
His father heard this, his eyebrows upside down, and he raised his hands to fight. He shrunk his head, spread his legs and ran away. His father looked at his running figure and roared, "Little bunny cub, if you have a kind of you, you will never come back!" ”
Just then someone walked by the gate, looked up, shook his head and walked away.
His father felt landless and self-conscious, and he nagged his mother a few more words.
His mother glanced at his father with a gloomy look in his eyes and said sarcastically, "Do you blame me for this?" Then, he stared at the flame on the stove in a daze and secretly wiped the corners of his eyes.
His father was speechless so far, only smoking in sorrow.
In his mother's opinion, he was just a little naughty.
After a rain, the leaves turn lush, layer by layer, and glow green. As I walked by the window, he waved his hand at me and smiled, smiling quietly, like the May sky, far from his temperament.
He tilted his head slightly, his heart soaked with imagination, under the window was a road, leading to fields, rivers and hills, many days of homework, his thoughts flew out of the window, and came and went outside the campus, almost without stopping.
Imagination, just imagination.
In reality, I didn't become a teacher. As for him, after the field was sold, he did not cultivate land or raise pigs, and it is said that he later opened a door and window processing shop, and the business was acceptable. The daughter-in-law is handsome, hardworking and docile, and the children born are also handsome, and they live an ordinary life.
3.
Dreaming of small things
The sky was blue, the sun was shining and it felt like summer.
A classmate came to ask me out to play and said, such good weather, what are you bored doing at home? I'll take you for a swim in the river.
I couldn't swim, and I didn't want to go, so I made an excuse, and the teacher arranged to recite the text on Monday, but I hadn't memorized it yet.
She said that it is not too late to come back and carry it again, let's go!
Seeing her indifferent look, I couldn't help but ask, will you carry it?
She shook her head, frowned, a bitter expression, alas, don't mention, as soon as I saw the text, it hurt, the sentences were difficult to understand, what passive sentences, inverted sentences, question sentences, but also mixed with the names of the characters or the meaning of the like, looking at half a day, except for the people who know and xi, ya, can not remember anything.
I wanted to laugh, but held back.
She pulled me along, and a lot of people went.
We crossed the road, turned into a field path, and headed for the river.
The river is not a panjiang river, but a small crooked river, one facing a big river, one facing a village, and in the middle is a field. Because it resembles a crescent moon, it is called "Moon Bay". To work in the fields, people have to paddle or walk diagonally across a path.
There are a lot of people by the river, so lively. Old people sit under trees to cool off, men cast nets to catch fish, women wash clothes by the river, and children swim in the river, catch fish and shrimp. The river is clear and glows golden in the sun.
She soon descended the river and swam around in the water. I stood on the side and watched, envious. She swam to the shallow water, waved at me, and shouted, Hurry down, the water is so cold! I hesitated. Don't worry, she said, it's easy to learn. I thought about it and thought about it, so I tried to get into the water. She gave me a demonstration and swam away. I learned to float in the water as she did, and as soon as I didn't pay attention, I was choked by the water, and my chest was stuffy and painful, and there was a feeling of suffocation. Frightened, I quickly surfaced, covered my chest and coughed violently. She was also frightened, and her face was white.
After this, the fun is lost. We came ashore on the surface of the water, sitting under a large tree with dense branches.
When I was relieved, I complained to her, you lied to me, what is so easy to learn!
She lowered her head, showing a look of guilt, feeling like she was about to cry.
I took a deep breath and said, Well, I'm joking with you, how can I blame you for this? It was I who was not careful.
Her face finally eased up, but her voice still had a hint of afterglow, it had just scared me, I thought... She didn't say the rest of the words.
I in turn reassured her, I'm fine, you don't have to worry.
The sun is still shining, the laughter is still there. The small flowers by the river are spread out and the fragrance is light. A gust of wind came, and the sorrow dissipated in an instant.
I said, you see, the flowers bloom so well.
She stared at me, not feeling the corners of her mouth upturned, revealing a hint of innocent surprise, smiling and moving, uh, so simple you can't learn, it's really strange.
I felt sorry, but I didn't want to admit my weaknesses, so I defended, look at what you said, this is my first time in the water, it is inevitable that I will be nervous!
She smiled at me and said, "Yes, too." Or we'll come back next time, and I'll let my sister teach you, okay?
I said, forget it.
She patted her damp hair, and her thin face showed a look of disappointment again.
Since then, I have never dared to wade into water dangers.
4.
Dreaming of old friends
It was dusk, the evening wind blew through the treetops, and the leaves fell down.
I walked down a long alley until I reached her doorstep. I don't know what I'm going to do, maybe I just want to see her.
It was a very ordinary house, opposite a courtyard, where her parents lived. Nearby was a pond covered with aquatic weeds, soaked in twilight, looking poignant and hazy.
The curtains were drawn tightly and the room was a blur. I knocked on the door and she shouldn't. Knocking again, she seemed to mutter, "Eh, who?" "I said, it's me. A moment later, there was a clanging sound coming from the house, and the door creaked open, and she pestleed the door, looking a little dazed. I said, what, don't you know me anymore? She shook her head and motioned for me to enter the house.
Her young child slept soundly on the couch, the smell of dust in the air, floating and wandering. An unwinded ball of yarn was left there, a mess. Only then did I find out that she had cut her short hair, or the kind of broken hair. I said I liked the way she looked with her long hair. She smiled bitterly, did not say a word, and there was a shadow on the side of her face, full of haggard.
I sat down nearby.
She hugged her curled legs, her eyelids drooping, her lips tight, and was silent for a while before saying, "Thank you for coming to see me." ”
I looked at her silently, a little pity, and powerless.
She shrunk her neck, snuggled back on the couch, and re-wrapped the thread.
For a moment, I seemed to see her sitting in front of the mirror, tilting her head to braid her hair into a braid and tie a blue ribbon, looking light and flowing. She seemed to think of something, a smile spread at the corner of her mouth, and the hair hanging on the side of her neck was black and fluffy, full of youthful breath. She listened to the faint sound of the wind coming from outside the window and the birdsong on the branches of the trees in front of the door, then picked up her little satchel, pushed open the door and walked into the sun, toward the young man waiting there.
In the next instant, I seemed to see the night falling low again, the moonlight shining into the house, the dim light, the shadows reflecting a pair of figures, and each other's breathing. In that room, she crossed her youth and desires, like flowers blooming freely, without hesitation...
As the sun sets, it soon gets dark.
I don't know what to say to her. The atmosphere was a little muffled and I felt like I should go. Finally, she straightened her hair and showed that dazed look again, and she said, you will be fine when you go back, and stay with me for a while.
I thought about it and sat down again.
She was silent again, and seemed to be worried even about the silence.
I can only be silent.
Under the light, she exuded a lingering smell of sadness. Even if the lights are bright, it will not help. The thread in her hand had been wrapped around, but she forgot to throw it in the box.
The child is still asleep, and the sniffle is light and even. She leaned down slightly, her fingers lightly across the child's face, then stopped at his chin. I saw the tears in her eyes, running down her eyes, slipping off unexpectedly.
It was difficult to wake up, and tears turned into death. The oath is like a meteor crossing the moment, taking away a piece of scenery, and the stars of the entire autumn night.
Exhaust youth, just for a man.
She silently wiped away her tears and said, "I'm at home waiting for him to come back." You say, will he come back? ”
I was stunned and didn't answer.
Halfway through, she looked up out the window.
The moon's shadow outside the window is oblique, the city not far away has flashed neon, like a charm, a few high-rise buildings shining in the lights, where the night begins. There has always been a saying that neon together, thousands of stars shine, illuminating countless passers-by. Red dust robbery, a dream, prosperity fell in the palm of the snow. If one day, the neon disappears, then how much resentment and how much injury will disappear, and the signal tower on the tall building that has been blown by the wind will be abruptly straightened out, and the world will return to tranquility.
Of course, this is just hearsay.
When the wind rises, there is a faint dog barking behind the house, and the night has gradually darkened. I silently turned out, the way home was familiar, but somehow I felt some fluttering under my feet, her face dangling in front of my eyes, dangling, and our young faces were lost in the cold evening wind. The roaring sound of cars, like the hooves of horses, stepped on the rolling red dust...
There are shooting stars in the sky, just like fate.
5.
Dreaming of reading a book
When night came, the moon was hazy, like an ancient legend.
I turned on the small lamp at the table and prepared to read a book. The small lights flickered and the halo dimmed. I reached out and flicked it, only to knock over the cup on the table. The water quickly spread and soaked the pages. I panicked for a moment and wiped it with a tissue. I had just cleaned up the desktop when all of a sudden the power went out again, and it was pitch black all around. I was stunned there, not knowing what to do for a moment.
The night is long, and the time is hard to live. What to do? Think about it, and then find a candle. Light a candle in the room and open the volume to read.
It seems to be a chapter novel, telling the story of the cold weapon era, forgetting the title and author. I only remember that the characters in the book are wild and spicy, enthusiastic and bold, and with grassy recklessness. The upper and lower chapters are joined together in a clever way, with little extra buffer.
It's also like a martial arts novel. Floating clouds and dogs, as soon as they enter the rivers and lakes, they are heroes. One man and one horse, fighting the sword in the end of the world. At the slightest point, the waves are monstrous, and the handle of the sword is waved to punish evil and promote good. The love of men and women is also full of anger, not like a historical picture, but like a love elegy.
The story unfolds endlessly, and the sound also appears gorgeously, penetrating into the depths of the senses. I saw the shadows in front of me shaking, as if wandering alone, each with its own destiny. Or rafting on the river, or independent hills, or hiking all over the world... In a trance, there was a void all around, like a dream.
In the dream, I was walking alone in the empty suburbs, and as soon as I looked up, I saw countless birds flapping their wings above my head. As we walked, we came to a hillside, where pine forests were stacked, squirrels were passing through them, and dogtail grass swayed with the wind. Suddenly there was a hissing sound from behind, and as soon as I looked back, I saw a herd of horses, or looking up and screaming, or looking down at the grass, or silently facing the pine forest.
The scene shifted slightly, and a large wasteland appeared in front of the eyes, with clouds flying over geese, wind blowing grass low, and desert yellow clouds spreading into the sky. Suddenly, the sand and dust suddenly rose, the sky was dark, and the sun and moon were dark. A hoarse roar came from the wind, piercing through the firmament. Trance saw a bearded man with a gray robe striding forward, with a long sword hanging from his waist and a backpack on his back, looking like a dusty servant. As you walk, you disappear into the illusion of sunset.
Faintly and heard the stirring song, like an eagle soaring in the air, free and fierce, but lonely and desolate. I couldn't breathe for a moment and burst into tears.
A dog bark in the distance wakes up the river. Before the story could end, the dream woke up.
The sky was still dark, and it was still dark and hazy, like a dream. I can't help but recall the plot in the book, like a movie shot replay, frame after frame, scene after scene, second by second, one figure after another, flying over the courtyard wall, flying over the roof treetops, flying to the distant sky, becoming the dream of a flying ranger.
At that moment, I felt as if I had traveled through the years, through time and space, standing on the top of the mountains, and seeing the stars and the sea of stars, spring, autumn, winter and summer in one night.