01
Some time ago, I saw a question on Zhihu: Why is it so difficult to seek common ground while reserving differences in the answer of Zhihu?
When you find a question, most of the respondents like to criticize other answers first, and then answer the questions well, why bother? Why can't you just say, "Seeing that most of these are XX views here, I'll put forward another point of view" or something like that? It's not that opposition or debate is not allowed, but it's not necessary to be ridiculed, even if opposition tends to be biased toward attacking other respondents and liking to buckle their hats, which makes it difficult for me to understand. Can't everyone talk well?
I think this phenomenon, not only in terms of knowledge, exists on all public social platforms.
As one respondent said: Maybe what we've been told since childhood is that there's only one standard answer. So I always want to divide the highs and the lows, and divide the right and wrong.
Although we later learned that many times and many things, right and wrong, beauty and ugliness can not be particularly clear.
Even if you feel that your opinion is correct, you should not be so absolute in criticizing and belittling other people's views.
In fact, in the final analysis, most people have not learned to respect differences.
02
Recently watched the movie "Minority Report" starring Tom Cruz.
A science fiction movie from more than a decade ago, it is about the future, three prophets with the ability to predict crime and stop it before it happens.
The three prophets will have their own solutions to the crimes that will occur in the future.
When three people agree, things take course; but when three people disagree, the principle of the minority obeying the majority is applied.
However, they retain not only the majority opinion, but also a minority report, hence the term "minority report".
There is a saying in the Analects, "Gentlemen are harmonious but different."
It means that in interpersonal communication, a gentleman can maintain a harmonious and friendly relationship with others, but does not have to agree with the other party in his views on specific issues.
I think this is similar to the minority report.
We can solve the problem with one opinion, but we can still retain our respective opinions.
I think that in the process of dealing with people, we should also leave such a "minority report".
Respect the different opinions of others, even if they are in the minority.
03
Teacher Zhou Guoping once said in an article:
We should remember that what we want is not necessarily what people want, and we must not do to others.
If it is said that "do not do to others what you do not want" is the minimum virtue of a civilized person, it opposes the intentional harm to others, and advocates that you live and let others live.
Then, "do not do to others what you want" is the advanced cultivation of a civilized person, which respects the independent personality and spiritual freedom of others, and then advocates living according to their own way, and also allowing others to live according to others' ways.
In fact, most of the contradictions in our lives come from the fact that we can't accept the fact that the other party is different from me.
Different concepts are the root cause of many social conflicts; different interests are also one of the barriers in many parent-child relationships.
The life that parents plan for their children is not necessarily the life that children want; the life we want is not necessarily the life that others want.
People have their own aspirations, life is also independent, no one's life is the standard answer.
There are more different things in the world, and you don't have to compete with people.
A person's cultivation is embodied in not imposing one's will on others.
04
Kant said: I respect any independent soul, and although there are some that I do not approve of, I can understand as much as I can.
Sometimes we live too self-righteously, too egotistically. Closed another line of sight that stretched outward, confined to his own unchanging cognition.
As mentioned in the dictionary of lifelong growth, 29: Freedom: "The freedom of the individual is freedom from infringing on the freedom of others." ”
The same applies when faced with different times.
Don't try to impose your thoughts on others. After all, each of our minds should be free.