"My son is a hero who defends his country... I just want to know if he's brave when he fights? ”

Text | Chen Qiaochao

Before Chen Xiangrong joined the army, he took a group photo with his sister Chen Qiaochao. Photo by Yao Jiusui

On New Year's Eve, listen to President Xi's 2022 New Year message. Among them, the sentence "The affectionate confession of 'clear love, only for China'" made the tears instantly moisten my eyes...

My brother Chen Xiangrong has been sacrificed for more than a year, and I still can't accept the fact that he has left his mother and me forever. He was a soldier, and I understood his mission and responsibility. But as his sister, in my eyes he was nothing more than a child who had just come of age. At the age of 18, he gave his young life to defend the country's territory. My mother and I were not surprised that my brother could behave in this way, because he was a person who respected the old and loved children, knew how to be grateful, and was strong and optimistic since he was a child.

Mom often said that when she was pregnant with her brother, her stomach was much larger than other pregnant women around her, which once made her think that she was a twin. The younger brother often turned the river and the sea in his mother's stomach, making her mother miserable. Mom said that this child must be a "little bully" after birth. After my brother was born, I watched him lie quietly in his mother's arms, his eyes closed, his long curly eyelashes moving with his eyelids, some small white dots on his nose, and his small pink mouth moving with "bar click", soft and sticky look very cute. I secretly told myself, "I must love this little guy!" ”

Soon after his brother could walk, his parents took him out of his hometown in Fujian and went to Hubei to do business. Mom and Dad's job was to buy shiitake mushrooms grown by retail farmers, rough process them, and then sell them. Sometimes they were too busy to take care of their brother, so they locked him in the house and watched TV. The younger brother is also very well-behaved, he will stay at home quietly, not crying or making trouble. The landlord's aunt opened a commissary. When my brother is older, he will help her take care of the shop while playing. The landlord's aunt told her brother that she could take whatever she liked to eat. But my brother has been educated by his mother since he was a child, and he can't take other people's things, so he can tell his parents what he likes. He never took anything from the store to eat, and when someone came to buy something, he ran to his aunt. Auntie also especially liked this child from afar.

Later, Mom and Dad went to Hainan to contract a mango orchard. My brother was also sent back to his hometown to live with my grandmother and me. Respecting the old and loving the young is the words that the mother often hangs on her lips: "Grandma is old, and she must do what she can do by herself, listen to her grandmother's words, and be a good child." "When the chicken soup is stewed at home, the chicken gizzard is regarded as the most nutritious part, and the younger brother will definitely give the chicken gizzard to Grandma to eat." The cousin is two years younger than the younger brother, and the two brothers are inseparable. Mom often said to my brother, "You are an older brother, you must know how to take care of and protect your brother, and your toys and snacks must also be shared with your brother." "My brother has always done this, and there are delicious and fun things to give to my cousin first."

When I was in my junior year of high school, my dad had cancer. In just over a year, he left us, leaving me, who had just gone to college in Fuzhou, my brother who was in junior high school, and my family that had been hollowed out because of high medical expenses. The top pillar of the family fell, and my mother was also faced with a choice: should I continue to Hainan or stay in my hometown? After Dad left, the family was in desperate need of money. At this time, the uncle who was far away in Hainan proposed to contract the mango orchard with his mother, and the costs were paid by the uncle first. Faced with the help of her uncle, her mother finally decided to stay in her hometown. She told her uncle: "Although going to Hainan may earn more money, Xiangrong is in junior high school and is in the rebellious period, so I want to stay with him." "During that time, my mother went out early and returned to work three jobs in the evening, working as a salesman in the supermarket in the morning, helping people sell rice grits in the afternoon, and helping workers in the rice kway teen workshop in the evening. For his mother's hard heart, my brother saw it in his eyes and hurt in his heart. He studied hard, came home to help his mother with housework as soon as he got out of school, and often reassured me not to worry about the family. My young brother cared for my mother and me as much as he could and went all out to get into high school.

With the support of my mother and brother, and with the support of caring people in the society, I successfully graduated from university and stayed in Fuzhou to become a trainee lawyer. One day, his younger brother, who rarely revealed his inner thoughts, suddenly said that he wanted to become a soldier: "I have wanted to be a soldier since I was a child, I was not old enough before, now I have reached the age, I saw the posters and propaganda slogans in the school, this year's recruitment has begun, I want to sign up!" Mom and I looked at my brother's determined gaze and listened to his firm tone, and we were very pleased. Mom said: "It is a very honorable thing to be a soldier, and we support you unconditionally!" Finally, through his own efforts, the younger brother successfully passed the conscription examination. The night before going to the army, the family held a farewell party for my brother. During the meal, my brother put on a new military uniform, stood barefoot, and stood tall, hating that he could not be much higher than me to show that he could protect my mother and my little manhood. This funny scene was also filmed by my mother. After my brother left as a soldier, we often looked at this photo.

After my brother arrived in the army, he would call home as soon as he had the opportunity to use his mobile phone. Whenever he was asked if he was hard, he always said don't worry about him, it wasn't hard at all. Once, I had just finished a minor surgery because the anesthetics didn't work, and I was lying in my hospital bed after the operation, and I was in tears of pain. The cousin filmed this scene and sent it to her brother. When my brother saw the picture, he called and told me to take good care of myself. I suddenly felt warm in my heart, thinking: This "little fart" has really grown up.

After joining the army, my brother received a stipend of 4100 yuan for the first time, sent 2000 yuan to my mother, sent me 2000 yuan, and told me to give part of the money to my grandmother. I asked him, "You gave us all the money, how can you use 100 yuan?" The younger brother said indifferently: "Oh, I don't have to spend money here, 100 yuan is enough." "It wasn't until later that I learned from my brother's comrades-in-arms that my brother didn't need to spend money, but he wasn't willing to spend it.

The first person to receive news of his brother's sacrifice was his uncle in his hometown. At that time, my mother was working in Hainan. The uncle was afraid that his mother was in a hurry, so he called lightly to say that there was an emergency at home and asked her to take the next morning's flight back home. Under repeated questioning by my mother, my uncle lied that my brother was injured in training and needed us to go to Xinjiang to accompany him. My mother was relieved and called me to get home the next day. It was a torturous and long night, and I kept thinking that my brother must be fine. But the reality is harsh. The next day, I arrived home one step ahead of my mother and learned the truth from my uncle. My mother, who hurried into the house, saw me in tears and understood everything in an instant. Mom's legs were weak, she sat paralyzed on the ground, and fainted.

The next day when we got home, we came to pick up our brother and comrade-in-arms to visit our mother at home, and my mother fainted with sadness. The next day, we got on a flight to my brother's unit. Along the way, I still didn't want to believe the fact that my brother had sacrificed. It wasn't until I saw my brother lying in an ice coffin that I believed that my brother had left us forever. A chief asked his mother, "If you have any requests, we will do our best to meet them." The mother shook her head and said, "My son is a hero who defends the country, and I have nothing to ask for." I just want to know if he's brave when he fights? ”

From my brother's relics, my mother and I saw two letters that my brother had not been able to write, and every time I wrote "dear mother", I stopped writing. The younger brother must have a lot to say to his mother, a wordless confession, and an eternal affection. Later, one of them was collected by the Military Museum of the Chinese Revolution.

Now, I can sometimes hear my mother's cries in the early morning, and at night I hear her playing her brother's song "Rong'er" written by my brother's comrades over and over again. Mom used to say, "Whoever it is, in that case, will make the same choice as Rong'er." Sometimes, in front of me, my mother would comfort herself: "Just when your brother is still a soldier in the army!" ”

My brother's sacrifice became an incurable wound for my mother and me. Once alive, he transformed into plaques, certificates and medals. But I'm proud of my brother, who knew exactly what he liked at such a young age and ended up sacrificing for the cause he loved. "Clear love, only for China", the younger brother did what every Chinese son and daughter would do.

Today, I also follow my brother's example and wear "peacock blue" to become a member of the civilian phalanx. In the barracks, when those soldiers who were the same age as my brother became more and more familiar comrades-in-arms, when I saw their vigorous and courageous appearance again and again, I began to understand my brother's "clear love, only for China" behind the deep affection of the homeland...

(Xu Wentao and Li Rongrong participated in the collation)