"Qingwei" Wang Xiaoyu | essay: Flowing years like dreams

Prose: Years like dreams

Text/Wang Xiaoyu

The ignorance of childhood, in the face of the passage of time, but feel its happiness. Looking forward to the New Year, looking forward to growing up, foolishly hoping that time can pass a little faster. Decades have passed in the blink of an eye, and as I wished, people have grown up and the years have passed. Time passes, when the two sideburns are quietly staged, oh! This time of urging, I only knew its hate, I knew that the fiery past, really gone forever.

I don't know when I began to cherish this time. Looking forward to the darkness of the day later, the day is over, and this day in life will never be seen again. Moreover, in this time, I still have a lot to do, and in today's time, the results that await me have not disappeared. Together with this time, you chased me to my presence and gave it to me in a frank and broad position, telling me to make a choice. Wrong will always be wrong, and the right will make me understand in the blink of an eye that a difference in thought may be regret. When today passed silently, I did nothing, as yesterday and before, wasted time. What I want is still a dream, and when will I have to fulfill this dream, and when will I wake up? It was me who was wrong, I had failed too much of this time.

I always think that what I can't get today will definitely appear tomorrow. What I want tomorrow, I will have in the future. Time passed like this, and this self-deluded bitterness, I had tasted too much. The joy of success, I have never sucked. On the contrary, the loss is getting heavier and heavier in my life. The pain passed, it turned to numbness, and I was already indifferent to this time. Like a ticking clock, its own feelings for time are just dancing. With the joy of revelry, there is nothing wrong with sending away a good time, because the ticking time, and then a steady stream of coming.

Compared to clocks, bringing feelings is a pain. How many springs I have seen, how many flowers bloom of happiness is indescribable. When the ice melts, I am also very excited. For spring has come, and the gentle wind has woken everything up. The leaves sprouted, the grass turned green, and the flowers smiled in the embrace of spring. The sun is soft and the temperature is moderate, creating the conditions for new life, and even I can't help it. In addition to the burdens and exhaustion of the winter, I stretched my muscles and bones like them and welcomed happiness. The plan of the year lies in the spring, and they have not failed. After the flowers bloom, they bear the fruit of happiness, and the grass is full of passionate life. And I just accompanied them for a ride, and when the spring and autumn were real, I was still empty-handed. I just enjoy time, and this short-lived gift gives me a taste of sweetness. What kind of flowers bear what kind of fruit, in the face of time, I did not blossom and fall when the flowers bloomed, where did the happiness come from?

So in life, I have always been afraid of autumn. The season of excitement is over, and it's time to compare and harvest. The flowers bore fruit, the birds nurtured their children, and even the bees buried their eggs in another spring. What do I compare? Better than I know everything? I know that spring and autumn come, and time never returns; I know that life is being consumed and one day it will disappear; I know that spring and autumn are a process, but I have nothing in this process. Should I give myself a wake-up call at this time? Like the bell ticking, like a beating heart. Time has urged me to change from evil to righteousness, telling me to be like them, warm flowers in spring, harvesting in autumn and hiding in winter.

Maybe this is what life should be, to grasp yourself in the flow of time. Sweat when you should work hard, and fight with your life when you should struggle. Flowers have fruitful happiness, and I should also have a successful life. Live up to the time, live up to life. Since you live like a person, you must have the same appearance as a person.

However, many times I do not think so, the innocence of childhood, the romance of youth. I just live leisurely, devouring everything in life in time. A lot of time I don't know myself and think of my dreams as reality. But how do I do that? It wasn't until many years later that I deeply regretted the time I disappeared. The galloping away has long since become the past, and I can no longer get them, just as my life is disappearing little by little. These precious things, I never felt passed. As if they were always there, I was indulgent, confused, and doing nothing. Today is over, tomorrow is still the same. What is this? I never seem to have reflected? Muddled all year round, there is no end to the confusion.

I often wake up at night, when it is cold and clear, I suddenly feel that the past is so beautiful, and youth is so proud. I don't believe that reality can really be like this, I don't believe that a lifetime will really disappear like a dream. What else do you want to catch? The cold and calm night did not offer me anything. It was as silent as ever, not speaking or answering. It just accompanied me, letting the starry night sky disappear at dawn again. It all passed again, and I finally understood, what is the loss of time? Like the morning fog, like the wind that drifts by, like the lights that go out in the flow of time. There are also those lives that have no remorse in life, but finally disappear without a trace.

When I understand all this also decades later, a person grows up and understands everything. Life is not eternal, and time will not last. I was just lucky to be here, enjoying the spring, summer, autumn and winter, and enjoying what I once had. This is a kind of happiness, but what is happier is that it does not live up to the time and the future. When the flowers bloom, there will be the happiness of the fruit, when the bees come, there will be sweet happiness, when the leaves are green, there will be the happiness of summer, and when the water gathers together, there will be the happiness of flowing. What about me? Shouldn't I have to fight once too? For the future, for life, for life and for the happiness that people should have.

Can I get what I want? Realize yourself in the dreamy times of the flowing years. There will be an end when there is a beginning, and there will be results when you do it with your heart. Good and bad are their own, life is just a process, then let this process be colorful, it is not a kind of happiness.

May this happiness I have, may not live up to it, and let the passing time bless life!

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