Happy New Year everyone, I'm Hu Xin Shu.
2022 is over, and I'm glad you can still see this article, and I'm glad we can still have a conversation in an article, like a time and space game.
This year's year-end summary is indeed a little later than in previous years, and many things are piled together at the end of the year, hastily and sloppily. It wasn't until after 2021 that I finally had time to talk about the year that had just passed.
When I brushed this article on Weibo today, I smiled ashamedly. It turns out that I am not the only one who is confused about the end of 2021, or too usual about the arrival of 2022. Sure enough, the time scale after the epidemic has become sloppy, and everyone's sense of ceremony is fading.
In early December, I sat at my desk and wondered if I'd gained any new experiences or abilities in 2021. When I think about it, I always feel that there is, but I can't describe that feeling concretely.
It wasn't until a few days ago that a message woke me up. The message said "envy spicy is loved", I suddenly realized. Maybe what I'll learn in 2021 is "accept being loved with openness," and that's the superpower I have.
Sure enough, the person who is loved is confident. Even strong enough to stand in the universe and become a star that will shine on its own.
In the second half of this year, I always get some messages from friends backstage, asking me when I can talk about how I feel after marriage. I wanted to say it but couldn't say it, because the time was so short, and at the moment I didn't feel the difference between the status change from a couple to a couple for the two of us.
But there's a feeling that comes from the moment we live together — marriage (or couple life) can never be a one-man game.
This spring, Mr. Pa and I played a two-player game called "Two People In Line.". Originally indifferent to the game, I was addicted to it because of its story setting and game experience. In this game, both people are required, and neither of them wants to rely on the other to complete the task.
When I finally passed the customs, I was very excited, and I even wanted to hug Teacher Pa and cry. It's so much like reality that when two people are playing against the world as a team, neither person can drop the chain, and neither person can lose the response.
This is somewhat similar to my experience in arguing. Recently, when we have mood swings, we will ask each other whether you want to vent your emotions or solve the problem, and when the problem is thrown out, everything becomes simple, and the meaningless disputes between us are greatly reduced.
Probably because we are older, the trivialities in life are enough to take up our time, and we are too lazy to make the friction between two people stir up the crowd. Most of the time, we want a hug, not a garbage time with bad words.
And this "rational relaxation" doesn't just stop at the emotional side, it also spreads to my work and my life.
In the past, it was hard for me to imagine that I would enjoy the "feeling of slackness", but now it does happen. Don't fight against the big environment, complete some small goals, listen to your own inner thoughts, live with a comfortable posture, and suddenly find that it seems to be good.
Last year I made a few flags, and when I look back, they were all done. It didn't take much effort, but it didn't do anything too brilliant, the progress was small, always lying in his comfort zone and swimming backstroke.
The only little regret is probably that the book I promised to write is not finished, but it is bound to be written in 2022, and telling those cute and eccentric love stories to everyone is still what I want to do.
As for my life, there have been some big changes this year. The first big thing was that I quit smoking.
Although I have not reported this matter to you in the past, I am indeed an old smoker with ten years of smoking age. I have a dependence on nicotine and am addicted to both physical and mental. In the middle of this year, the respiratory tract became very uncomfortable, and I had a fear of death, so I gambled with myself to see if I could successfully quit my addiction.
Three days before I quit smoking, my whole being was broken, I couldn't think, and I cried occasionally. But after seven days, the physiological addiction faded. After three months, the psychological addiction also disappeared completely. I never touched a cigarette again, believing that all the "can't quit" of adults is an excuse.
Then I started another change – returning to regular fitness.
It is not to say that I am afraid of death, or whether the requirements for myself are suddenly high, in short, I suddenly get pleasure from the fitness thing. Now with Teacher Pa, I arrange four exercises a week, and the two of us actually start to enjoy the pleasure of muscle soreness, which I really can't think of in the past.
At the end of the year, I was very emotional, I always thought that the epidemic completely destroyed my life, but from another perspective, maybe it inspired another me, a "vigilant" me. Be vigilant against the unknown, be vigilant about what you can control, even if you are in your hands.
Being calm when loved and being wary of the future is probably my two biggest gains in 2021.
Every year at the beginning of the new year, we make a wish.
I'll come first today. I hope that the epidemic can be completely ended, and I will be 30 years old in 2022, and I hope that my 30-year-old self can live in this world more freely and happily, without regrets. The rest of the wishes one by one, are not a big deal, almost can be obtained with hard work, and will not be discussed here.
I don't know what the reason is, this year's year-end summary is difficult for me to enter the state of "painful thinking" or "crepe expression", which is always very tacky. Greedy for life and afraid of death, enjoy love, like to make money. But I can't say why, I like this kind of self.
Well, it's really sleepy to write here, and it will definitely be nonsense to talk about it. Anyway, we will still get along in this year, and then think of what I will tell you one after another, please rest assured.
Then it's time for you to make the next New Year's resolution.
Hopefully, this 2022 will attract us to like.
Head image / Arren Aaren
Illustration / My Album
"The Announcer at 22:22 Tonight"